Saturday, June 30, 2007
Well, found the test on Waihan's blog and took it..
Well, according to the test, I'm not really that depressed. Coz my results for Major Depression and Dysthymia are like lower than Waihan's! LOL. waihan is more emo than me!
But I'm Bipolar. boohoo. Which is kinda expected since my mood goes from sin 90 to sin 270 all the time. XS oh wells.
Labels: quiz
6:30 PM
I hate fevers. They make you seem useless. When you are not. When you don't feel anything, other than feeling hot (pun intended). LOL.
Okay, fine, I'm aching a bit. Aching all over. But that's it. No more headache.
Slept so much that I cannot sleep anymore. So I'm using the com.
AND I AM NOT HAVING DENGUE. XP
If my fever subsides by 6pm, then I'm allowed to go for CO farewell chalet. But not stay over. But sihui's only going at 12am!!! If I don't stay over....
All that to worry about if and only if my fever goes away. But I won't be able to sleep tonight anyway. Slept too much today.
4:32 PM
YAY! I'M HIGH NOW! HAHA. EVERYONE SHOULD GO PLAY ISKETCH. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE EMOING. LOL. DAMN FUN!!! ESPECIALLY MUST PLAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. AND MUST PLAY WITH FRIEND. AND PLAY NONSENSICALLY! the inability to draw (like me) is a plus point!!! WOOT! but must sleep now le...or else i'll be going two days without proper sleep. *yawn* NITEZ! X)
http://www.isketch.net/isketch.shtmlLabels: random
Friday, June 29, 2007
Okay, actually I'm not so emo now anymore le. Haha. Spamming msn games with CQ. Rock Paper Scissors is damn cute!!!! haha. The shark will chase the msn figure one!! haha. But I keep losing..=P
Well, basically, for the first time ever, I didn't plan my post-exams way before hand, like i usually do. Was too occupied with mugging. And the handphone incident kinda affected me too i guess. So now I'm miserable. Coz EVERYONE has something on. Be it class outing, or simply lazy to get out of the house. And so, today after taking photos with RG Library, I was ALONE.
Speaking of the handphone incident, I still haven heard updates or follow-ups on that matter.
I've never spent time alone during post-exam periods before.
I mean in primary school, i would go over sammie's house and play monopoly. that was lower primary. primary 5 and 6 i'll just go shan's house. and play ps2. play that super nice fighting game. which i still donno the name of.
secondary school, there's always orchard and a bunch of ever-ready to shop girls. okay, almost always.
Tried to get Jeanette and gang out to play bridge. Initially got Jared to agree too. But we took too long to find the fourth player, and Jared couldn't wait anymore. So he went for something else.
Ended up shopping around J8 ALONE and watching Transformers ALONE, then went back to woodlands. Was about to go home, when shan called me. So i waited at woodlands ALONE for her, and when she came, i spent ard one hour with her, and then went home.
When was the last time I watched a movie alone? Sec 2? It was Stepford Wives I think..at J8 too...I was feeling really really lonely and emo that time, that's why i can still remember it.
Transformers was totally not what I expected. It actually has a plot. And it's quite good. I think. But what I think doesn't matter I guess, since my taste in movies isn't that reliable lah.
Shit, I'm making myself emo again. Okay, I shall stop it.
And I've decided that instead of trying to convince my seniors to buy alcohol for me, I shall just try my luck myself at 7/11. Especially since the 7/11 near my house is recently tended by young and inexperienced part timers. i'll go like in the middle of the night, 2am or something. haha. worse come to worse, ask someone ard in the shop? act cute. pout. according to shan, pouting is act cute. haha.
actually, since shan usually can pass off as 21, i might as well try get her help instead. hmm..
why is it everyone else gets them so easily, but everything gets in my way when i wanna get them.
Labels: life, rant
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Film soc pple are either too lazy to go out, or not free.
CQ going to watch movie with his class afterall, so cannot play lan.
Why my life so pathetic?
The person I wanna see, I don't get to see. Shit.
Accompanied my sis to the library just now to return a book. On our way, we saw a cat. She was blinded in one eye. And she followed me. Then we came to a road and she continued following...When we were halfway across, and a truck was coming, she looked like she was going to cross! I dashed back in front of the truck to stop the cat from crossing...so that she won't follow me across the road. I think the truck driver must have thought I was crazy. I think my mum will ground me for life if she finds out. But so? I don't know...Maybe I don't value life as much as I used to. It's not like a sudden emo kinda thing, but it's a continuous thing. A sentiment that developed over time. Though I only mention it when I'm somewhat emo.
Why am I emo? Yet I cannot tell anyone outright, directly, every single thing that's making me emo this instant. Because this someone who can handle so much of my life doesn't exist.
I remember things that people say to me. Like how Wang said I'm the 'trying kind'. How Chuntsen said that I'm interesting. How people react when they realise that, while on the surface, I pretty much type everything on this blog. Yea, almost everything on the surface, I don't hide any. But yet, I keep so much more within. How amused they are when they realise that someone can actually have so much to tell, to say, to record down in her life. How despite announcing to the world pretty much everything superficial in my life, I still manage to keep a huge part of myself hidden. Not deliberately, just that no one bothered to read between the lines. No one bothered to understand.
I think I shall shut. and try to get my moods up.
As quoted from Kalyisah (Candy's classmate): "Flutter By" is just a mixture of "Butterfly". So "A butterfly flutters by." That is just something random.
Ciao.
I'm going to be a lonely person. Have been, always will be.
[EDIT: 11.39PM] Two episodes of Bleach in a row and it's still not helping my mood. Is there anyone in this world who feels my pain? Or do they just read my posts and go "oh...she's so melodramatic."? I think I shall just stay in bed the whole day tomorrow and brood. Since the whole world hates me. Or is likely to hate me. Or at least is indifferent towards me. What's the meaning of my existence in life really?
Labels: life, thoughts
10:15 PM
From this generator thing..Quite cool! I tried it more than once with different names, it's actually consistant! Not some randomly-throw-name at u kind of generator! haha...It's still random I suppose, but at least the answer doesn't change everytime you click enter. Here's mine! when I keyed in Melissa Chan Meiyi..
My japanese name is 遠藤 Endoh (distant wisteria) 千秋 Chiaki (very fine in autumn).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.
[EDIT: 7.14PM]| What color is your soul painted? Orange Your soul is painted the color orange, which embodies the characteristics of balance, heat, enthusiasm, flamboyance, playfulness, aggression, over-emotion, danger, desire, strengthens the ability to concentrate, attraction, adaptability, and stimulation. Orange falls under the element of Fire, and symbolizes glory and fruits of the earth. 
Click Here to Take This Quiz |
Quizzes and Personality Tests |
Labels: quiz
5:39 PM
Yay!!! CTs are finally over! Actually after CTs I was a bit stoned, but now happiness has finally descended upon me, and i am HAPPY! lol.
hmm...mayonnaise tuna bread tastes heavenly right now. yummy~
Well I suppose I shouldn't be happy. Since I feel like I scrape pass the physics paper. And when I feel like I did pretty well for a paper, usually I just scrape pass the paper. So now that I feel like I scrape passed the physics paper, it means I will fail it. But nevermind. I should still reward myself a bit for my hard work. LOL. But I'm not lying when i say I have woken up. I'm really gonna pia from now on. Especially for physics and math. and buck up for china studies and econs too.
Back to talking about post-exams!!! LOL.
For the first time ever, i did not plan what to do on the last day of my exams beforehand. Well, i've been pretty...."distracted" as sammie put it, for the past week. So, here's a BIG APOLOGY to everyone who I've dao-ed for the past week, be it online, msn, email, phone, sms....even face-to-face. I'm sorry. Mind's been frequently wandering about...But now I'm back! MEIYI IS BACK!!! WOOT! lol.
Anyway, as I was saying, didn't plan anything. And everyone either had plans already, or wanna go home and sleep. sigh. So, went to the library for a couple of hours, read a book on bunnies, and now i'm back home.
OH, I DIDN'T MENTION I GOT A BUNNY RABBIT! haha. There's simply so much stuff which I had been meaning to blog about, but haven't, simply because my mind's not there. haha. Well, my sis gave it to me last week, in the midst of my mugging for my CTs. She's damn kawaii!!! Her name's Joanne...simply because she looks like one of my soft toy bunnies which I got in primary school and since my soft toy bunny is called Joanne, she's Joanne too! haha...Twins! LOL. I shall post a picture of her soon.. =)
So...I shall have my post-exams plans.
1) Sort out my wardrobe.
It's too cluttered with stuff I don't wear anymore. Urgh. No space for new stuff. Well,旧的不去，新的不来
！2) Do CQ's blogskin.
Assuming that he wanna change it. But no harm doing one lah...coz he get's tired of blogskins so easily that I bet he'll wanna change it soon.3) Do my own blogskin!!!
but right now, this skin is damn nice...I don really feel like changing it..hmm...so maybe not. see first lah.4) Write the script for SSVA.
but all my ideas flew out of the window while mugging for CTs. I have completely zero inspiration right now. shit. don wanna go along with whatever crappy script zei comes up with though. so i will do one!! then again, maybe i should just give up on narrative, or else might end up having to work with zei, uck. XSCan't have too many post-exams plans...As weizhong has pointed out, we only have like 9 weeks to promos. SIGH. Anyway, some plans which take a shorter time! and fun!!!! haha.
TOMORROW
a) Go back RG to have my photo taken with RG Library in the morning! YAY! X)
b) Hang out with Film Soc peeps in the afternoon! (after bio pple finish exam) my idea....not confirmed yet, since most haven't reply yet..if that fails, I can....
OR
c) Go LAN with CQ! (after he finishes bio exam) CQ's treat! YAY!!!! if i'm gonna go, then i shall call shan and see if she wanna go too! YAY!
YAY! LIFE IS
GOOD!
Labels: life, school
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
This guy Thaddeus Cheong from my school died after winning a slot in the SEA games for triathlon. Such news travel fast. Coz three completely unrelated persons told me that. Shows how small Singapore is, that I got to know of it even before the newsapaper reports it, even before school started. On Sunday. One guy's his friend, one girl's his classmate, and one more his ex-schoolmate.
Everyone blogged about this. I felt obliged to blog about this.
But truth be told, I don't feel anything. Because I don't know him. He seems distant, and it's not like I'll miss his presence in school. I never thought I would behave this way. But then, maybe if I know him, or even talked to him once, like how I talk to random strangers in school all the time.
The thought of losing a friend, a friend who's of the same age as you, when you're young and hyper, like the age of 17, sounds scary. I'll never be able to get over with it if that happens to me. So friends, do me a favor. Whatever you do, DON'T DIE.
I may sound like I'm joking but I'm not.
Especially those who are still in the youth flying club. DON'T DIE. No matter what foolish stuff you do. It's good that Daniel got out. But eddie and ben, don't die. i heard amanda's in it too? don't die too.
Gosh, I sound nonsensical.
Math paper today's terror. I definitely did better than math for my econs and china studies. which means, i'm 100% sure that I'm gonna fail math. Now as I'm revising physics, physics seem like heaven to me all of a sudden. So much easier. Maybe it's that screwed up brain playing tricks on me.
Was very upset after the paper. But after a while I cheered up! Life is sweet you know...you just have to try to taste the sweetness amongst the sourness. Like lemonade! haha. As Candy said, common test helps you to wake up. Well, I'm wide awake. STUDY MATH LIKE SIAO EVERY WEEK AFTER COMMON TESTS. i'm serious. all the math pro friends, come tutor me. serious. LOL. I'm gonna come kachow you all!!! haha.
Speaking of friends, I feel like I'm getting to know..understand some people..or rather several persons..better and better as time goes by. Okay, another randomness of mine. Just something that came to my mind recently.
Labels: life, school, thoughts
9:24 PM
Well, strangely, I don't feel that angry anymore. Coz he's trying to make me angry, I'm not gonna to. Two posts after my last comment, just trying to get me hyped up and comment some more? (Note: I only got to know about the two latest posts because some of my friends and juniors decided to monitor the blog for a while and alerted me to it). Maybe I am behaving high and mighty (since he said so)...But I know I'm not pretending. so if he says I pretend, so be it. I don't have to prove it for anyone else, as long as I know myself. So, wow, thanks! I've just become high and mighty!
Arrows are ultimately still arrows. With or without the pointy end, it hurts. By breaking off the pointy end, you just prevent fatal injuries. But it hurts, nevertheless.
Anyway, Math common test is three hours and twenty-six minutes away. And I'm gonna fail. I mean it. I cannot do integrations for nuts. And functions...I'm rusty. I'm dead. But I've given up. I'm feeling soooo relieved that for physics, at least I'll have tonight, the whole of tomorrow, and thursday morning to study. SIGH.
My JC life is pathetic. I knew there are perks going to poly.
Labels: life, rant
9:34 AM
Well, first day of the common tests didn't go too well...But it was better than I expected. That goes to say just how much I dreaded it?
First of all, I woke up EARLY today. And still ended up 15 minutes later for my China Studies paper at 0800. How I managed to do that, I have no idea. Kinda touched by Miss Poh though, who bothered to call me in the morning when she noticed my absence. While I was in the taxi. In Ang Mo Kio area. But there was traffic jam...so...I was still very late. The taxi uncle commented that he seldom ever see someone like me, who could still smile cheerfully and talk pleasantly with him when I'm late for exams and anxious like hell. I suppose I was...But years of "training" from ADP years made it impossible for me to show it in front of strangers or even acquaintance I guess.
China Studies paper wasn't all as difficult as I thought it would be. I suppose I studied the correct stuff. Emphasized on the correct topics. I was lucky. Nevertheless, I think I didn't write the essay too well. Not enough points..missed out some. And not enough elaboration for the points I managed to bring up. Sigh. Oh wells, I've never expected to pass China Studies anyway.
But economics! I don't really know how I fared today. Still feeling quite numb from it. But I do know that I missed out the last part of question 2 for case studies, which was worth 6 marks. And I did slightly more than half of the third part of question 1, which was worth 10 marks. AND I DID NOT COMPLETE THE ESSAY. Last point to go, and time was up. Essay wasn't very coherent anyway. Sigh. I really do wanna take H3 econs. Yining says that I still have the end of years to buck up, but allocation is done after the mid-year's?
Mathematics tomorrow and I totally suck. I need help for every single question...ESPECIALLY INTEGRATION. I'm totally failing tomorrow. Shit, I can't afford to have remedial lessons. That would mean to sacrifice too much...too many things.
But lousy or not, I've studied the entire day after my econs paper. All the way till 11pm. Brain's fried and I'm on strike. At least till tomorrow morning. But right now, I'm bonding with my com. Does my laptop miss me? haha. Then I'll sleep. And begin my math torture again tomorrow morning.
P.S. Yay! Ari says that my new hairstyle is nice! haha...
Labels: rant, school
Monday, June 25, 2007
YES. I AM FREAKING OUT. CAUSE I'VE NEVER LIKED CHINA STUDIES. AND I HAVE NEVER PUT IN WORK AS I SHOULD HAVE IN CHINA STUDIES. SO I AM GONNA FAIL. AND IT IS TOO LATE TO REALISE JUST EXACTLY HOW TERRIBLE IT IS TO FAIL CHINA STUDIES, BECAUSE IT IS EXACTLY SEVEN AND A HALF HOURS TILL THE EXAM. I AM DEAD. NOT TO MENTION THAT I WON'T BE ABLE TO GET A B GRADE FOR ECONS, WHICH MEANS I WON BE QUALIFIED TO TAKE H3 ECONS. SO ALL THAT MUGGING FOR CHINA STUDIES FOR NOTHING.
AND I AM GONNA GET TERRIBLE GRADES FOR MATH. AND PROBABLY BARELY PASS, IF I PASS AT ALL, PHYSICS. but at least I still have time for math and physics. Enough time that is.
BUT I DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH TIME FOR CHINA STUDIES AND ECONS!!!! why was I so stupid to have mugged math and physics so much for the past week? Why didn't I realise earlier that I need more time for china studies? Heck china studies, but why didn't I realise I won't be able to get a 'B' grade for economics if I don't put more time in??? Dumb meiyi. DUMB MEIYI. shit, i hate myself.
and now i really gotta sleep. so that i don't get any dumber. hopefully i won't have to kill myself after tomorrow. shit, i really hate myself now. urgh.
Labels: rant
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Heck hiatus. I AM GONNA FAIL CSE, I AM GONNA FAIL CSE, I AM GONNA FAIL CSE TOMORROW. AND I AM SO NOT GONNA GET A 'B' GRADE FOR ECONS ANYMORE. I'M DEAD. WHAT THE HELL...quit school lah.
Labels: rant
10:30 PM
Going on hiatus coz I think, perhaps, since exams are coming, and due to many other factors, I'm not quite in the right state of mind. I realise just how weird I've been for the past couple of days and have started to frighten a few of my friends. So this shall be damage control. It's good for my CTs anyway. So yea, hiatus till exams end.
4:35 PM
I have absolutely no idea on how to study for CSE. It feels as though I've been going through stacks and stacks of notes and nothing's being registered in my brain. And my econs is in a mess. My math was never good. And physics, hopeless.
It's like life is breaking down into pieces. Yet going on in its endless circles....vicious cycles. This is turning to be a pattern. I study, day or night. In the day, I laugh. At night, when there's time to think....Maybe I'm not living my life healthily. Emotionally. Psychologically. Not physically...physically it doesn't feel different at all. It's simply my way of life. I'm born into this.
I need more. I crave for it. And shit, I still do not find it yet. I have great friends, am in great CCAs. Maybe my academics aren't in their tip top condition, that's one of the reasons, partially to why I don't get it. But I've never been one overly concern over acad..I need that extra something. Is it considered the essence of life? Something's missing....Something, which leads to all others...It's missing from my life and I'm starting to miss it badly.
I don't wanna live my life in circles anymore. Circles are boring. I'm someone suited for boring stuff. But I'm not meant for boringness. The great ironies of my life...I'm always not meant for the things I'm most suited for. But most importantly of all, Circles are...tiring. I've realised sometime in the beginning of the year. And it's not gone away yet. Maybe I'm starting to learn to live with it. Maybe I'm not extremely affected anymore...Not crying everyday...with moments of genuine laughter almost everyday...yes, I'm not affected anymore. But the problem's not solved. It's still there. I'm tired. Tired of life.
I'm saying this matter-of-fact-ly. Not sensationalized/dramatized...not romanticized. there's nothing romantic about it. i'm tired. it's cold and hard - metallic truth. I don't hate my life anymore. but i'm tired.
And the circles are vicious.
Life is in itself cycles of life processes. Stages of your life repeats itself over and over again. Each stage repeats, until it reaches a point of time when the stage runs and actually fulfilled its aim. But life's not perfect, and each stage takes ever so long to complete. It fails, take a hiatus, returns again. Life cycles are torture. Yet the torture itself is the joy of living. Another one of the great ironies of life.
Then, following this line of logic, I should learn to enjoy all these problems I'm creating for myself in my mind? I swear my mind's a mess at unearthly hours.
Life cycles.....vicious cycles, circles, repeating stages. They make life....lives monotonous. homogeneous in a way. how all our lives overlap in some way or another...similar experiences, similar reactions, similar thoughts?
my, my...i swear my vocab is at its weirdest in the night.
What's on with my blogging style recently in the middle of the night(s)? I think I'm going from weird to bonkers...nonsensical. Incoherrence...in another way.
This must be the result of a heightened awareness of certain things which I cannot blog publicly. The blogging addiction. It means, I got to blog in some way...yet not revealing others.
i swear if i read this entry again a few years, or maybe even months later, I will have completely no idea what the hell i am talking about tonight. but tonight, i have this need.
i shall sleep earlier tonight and feed my twisted (and maybe even perverse) mind with hours of rest.
Labels: thoughts
Saturday, June 23, 2007
I LOVE THIS LAYOUT! haha..so feminine..XP
There are merits to couping layouts from others and not creating your own. haha. Especially when I'm so busy and pressed for time..haha.
Anyway, the person is creating a series of Ipod-Bleach layouts! Guys can coup the not so feminine one...
(Link to iBleach Layout on Blogskins.com)The person made one on iByakuya too! and it's blue! X) but she haven't make the layout yet..haha. It's on her deviantart though..
(Link to iByakuya on DeviantArt)Of course..If you like this one..haha..
(Link iOriHime Layout on Blogskins.com)YAY! BLEACH ROCKS!!!
[EDIT: 10.30PM] And the horror of China Studies begins tonight.
Labels: random
9:58 PM
Went to Malaysia for a new haircut today! YAY! X)
Lots of weird random things make me happy. Buying something, a new dress, a new pair of shorts, NEW SHOES!!! that makes me happy. Wearing nice socks makes me happy. and er..nice bra. but nevermind about that. AND GOING KBOX! that makes me happy too! and bowling!! haha. and DDR makes me high! yesh!
Don't know whether it was a good trade-off today though. Coz 5 hours over at Malaysia meant that I lost a day of studying. Precious time to study Econs and Physics. Not to mention that I have not started on China Studies yet. oh well, i've given up hope on that one. haha. I'll like take the whole of tomorrow to read up on it i guess. And econs. I got to get decent grades for econs. Or i'll die. Seriously. I'll go kill myself, even if i don't die of disappointment if I don't get to take H3 econs.
In conclusion. A "haircut therapy" works just as great as a shopping therapy! XP
Labels: holidays, weekend
8:10 PM
Maybe it's the night again...but the sense of helplessness is back. I can't control what happens. I can't control what others choose to do to me. I can't even control how I feel towards others, and inevitably, people can hurt me very easily. And it's not their fault. It's nobody's fault.
I've laughed so much. But all the while, I cry within.
It's like I've been laughing. A lot more. A lot more this year than last year. Than the last four years combined. Those laughter, no matter how fake they feel, a significant amount of it are true. The extent of my happiness each time when I truly laughed this year is so much greater than the past four years combined. But the extent of my sadness greatly exceeds what it used to be too. Age seventeen is a torture in this manner.
At a lost. What the hell am I doing? Am I wanting? or wanted.
I have great friends. I love them. But isn't human nature greedy? I want more. I want someone who understands me, on an even deeper level. Or at least striving towards that level, edging nearer and nearer to that realm of...unknown. I crave for acceptance. and the feeling of being wanted. Maybe only after being wanted, would I know what I really want..
And yet, both my resolutions...the time window's not over yet.
I'm too prone of giving myself false hopes. I have the tendency to over dramatize stuff. To romanticize everything. I suffer....but only because of my own personality. All that I know too well..But what can I do then?
You never get to choose
You live on what they send you
And you know they're gonna use
The things you love against you
- falling awake / gary jules
i remember someone told me this year. I really really forgot who. but it's someone I got to know this year. someone i regarded seriously. as a friend. that person said that i'm one confused girl who simply messed up her life. it's true.
oh, i think i remember who it is now.
why is it that every chapter of your life starts out seemingly wonderful and perfect, and then begins unwinding before your very own eyes and become such a mess?
why do problems always come in waves? or do i create my problems in waves?
my sin graph of life has a very high frequency indeed.
Labels: thoughts
Friday, June 22, 2007
Regarding the incident last night: Well, he wrote a counter post. I give up. I suppose what a couple of my friends said was right. I'm over reacting. But I really thought of him as a friend? and it hurts. it wasn't for show. Okay, nevermind. I won't waste anymore emotional energy on this anymore.
But this episode really made me realise just how fortunate I am. I don't know if I were in the same situation back in RG, but just that there wasn't such an episode to make me realise it....But I have great friends. All who cared. And showed support when I need them. I'm not as lonely as I thought anymore. It's not like back in Sec 2 anymore, when I had to keep going back to my primary school friends for emotional and psychological support. Now, I have friends from both the past and present who I love. =) I don't know how to express this enough, but really...Thanks guys!
I really believe life is a sin graph! It goes all the way down to a minimum point, and then the next instant, it's up again to the peak! Today's fun!! Daniel smsed in the morning, suggesting that we study at the library today. So, me, sam, and daniel are to meet at the library. And daniel met Ben! benedict liang, not benjamin neo. so four of us were to study together. then we met perlin, who was studying with her friends. and guess what? fengheng was eating lunch with eddie and lucille at causeway point. that's seven people from admiralty primary 6Q (2002) in the same area at the same time! and later, ed and lucille came to study at the library. so yea, all of us in the same area....and shan came! to get a book on KI. haha. That's 8 people! and when daniel used my com later on, jeremy (senior from film soc) talked to me, and we found out that he was from adp too! wow...today's such an adp day! haha.
And Ben is pro at sciences...my gosh. I didn't noe that nus high don need contrasting subject lah! and they finished like...the entire a lvl syllabus for physics alr? oh man. so, all my physics was tutored by him today. (actually i only got him to tutor me for 2 qns, coz i don wanna bother him too much. he has chem exams nxt week i think.)
we had no tables at first. so perlin was our "table scout"! she found two seats empty and called me. so me and sammie went up to take our seats nxt to 3 hci guys. who found us annoying i think. coz daniel keeps coming to bother me. and then, ben sat with perlin and her friends. daniel just drifted ard until later on he found a seat nearby. then when perlin and her friends left, we took over! yay! mission accomplished. lol.
oh..oh...and daniel treated me and sammie to dinner at mac! haha. i'll treat him back nxt time lah.
eddie and lucille...hmm...ok, shan't say too much. XP
after the library closes, sammie and i dragged the guys to shopping! yay!!! but then, didn't see any nice dresses ard to try on. sigh. the two dresses i saw at metro the other day don't look as appealing anymore. haha. Oh, but we did go through the lingerie section (to tease the guys) and went to the swim suit department. damn, the bottoms to the top that me and sammie bought the other time isn't on offer! argh. sigh. $29.90 eh..sigh. oh wells, i'll see when i shall buy it. nxt time i go wild wild wet maybe? haha.
i think i shall go library again tomorrow. probably at 10am, when the library opens. so that i can chop a table. haha. people! wanna come sms me tonight! then i chop a seat for you! lol.
Labels: holidays, life
11:08 PM
I feel much better now. Sure, I still feel really upset, and I still cannot absorb nearly 70% of the physics crap I've read tonight. But I'm definitely feeling better.
Thanks everyone who asked me what happened, and listened to all my rants. Especially Jyaas, Jeanette, Waihan and Jared. Especially especially Jyaas. Thanks a lot. I really really ranted a lot. Repetitive even. Thanks for listening to me. And sympathizing. And saying all that stuff to make me feel better.
Thanks everyone! Over 10 people asked me how I was...I felt so loved! LOL. But I suppose I really sounded very very angry on my nick.
And I'm really really sorry for using the words that I shouldn't today. And I'm really glad I didn't call him again to yell at him, coz if I had, I would have shouted a lot more of similar words. And that's not nice. I'll restrain from now on. I don't use such words usually anyway. My sisters were shocked when they heard it from their rooms. They even came over to ask me what happened. If my face wasn't so black, I bet Haoyi would have teased me about it, since I always nag at her about her vulgar language. Today I set a bad bad example. Not good..Lucky my bro slept already. And luckily, my mum was in her room with her door locked.
And no, I will not murder and sin.
[EDIT: 2.06AM] And thanks CQ and chuntsen, for showing your support/concern. Means a lot. really. haha. I feel indebted to everyone now lah. lol.
Labels: life
Thursday, June 21, 2007
I AM FUCKING PISSED. PARDON ALL USAGE OF VULGARITIES TONIGHT ON MSN AND THE BLOG BECAUSE I AM REALLY REALY DAMNED PISSED. SERIOUSLY, I HATE MYSELF FOR USING SUCH WORDS. BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO EXPRESS JUST EXACTLY HOW
PISSED I AM.
READ ZEI'S POST ON HIS BLOG:
http://wellwelldamnitall.blogspot.com/2007/06/oh-god_21.htmlSeriously, what's wrong with being enthu over your own house? So what that not everyone cares ONLY about winning like he does? So what that the memories, the fun, and the PEOPLE matter to us too? And for the record, I did not talked about practice sessions out of nowhere. The IC for girls soccer told me personally there would be practice sessions. And he had to make me sound like a moron.
You know zei, if you actually happen to read this? I treated you as a FRIEND. As in consciously-treating-you-as-a-friend. Fine, you don't have to care about that. But yes, you were a friend to me. And so it hurts more. I trusted you. Trusted you enough to tell you some of my secrets. And you went ahead and called me names. Fine. I almost screamed at your dad when I called just now. Took me everything not to scream and yell. You better thank me for it. And come up with a SPECTACULAR excuse. You know what I feel? I feel betrayed. And I bet you don't care.
Shuacks. Screamed into the pillow, blasted Linkin Park for an hour, broke my diet and ate TWO HUGE CHOCOLATE BARS and still no use. Can't absorb a single thing on physics. My mood's completely ruined.
Labels: life, rant
11:25 PM
Sammie's fever got worse. So we are not having study sleepover tonight anymore. Boo~ =(
Labels: holidays
5:29 PM
This time from tickle! before I go back to the dread physics...
You're likely to find fame and fortune in the Social World
What's Your Fame and Fortune?Brought to you by
Tickle
You're a Social Thrill Seeker
Are You a Thrill Seeker?Brought to you by
Tickle
Your trademark tune is Black Eyed Peas' "Where is the Love"
What's Your Trademark Tune?Brought to you by
TickleLabels: quiz
2:54 PM
I finally touched Physics! Yay!!! After much self-willing. Haha. And not bad too...I actually managed to understand a decent amount of work. Haha. Damn happy now~! gonna sleep soon with a happy smilie on my face! WOOT! X)
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
I did it again. This laptop wouldn't work hours ago. And dad was too "tired" to fix it for me. So I was supposed to wait till tomorrow night to use my com. But computer is half my soul. I suffered from withdrawal syndrome and went a bit bonkers and "emotionally unstable". Walls were closing onto me, loneliness and helplessness....Until moments ago, I just couldn't take it anymore. Desperate times call for desperate measures. And I slammed my beloved lappy again. And it worked.
Sorry lappy. I'll TRY not to do it again. =)
But really, I'm too addicted. That few hours of com-less-ness made me realise that without my computer on in my room, I don't have the mood to do anything. No mood to practise my guitar, nor my keyboard, no mood to read...nothing. Most importantly, no mood to STUDY. lol. And i realise that I missed my music collection. haha. Speaking of which, I heard a song by Gary Jules on Grey's Anatomy today (Falling Awake) and went to download a few more others by him. He's quite good. Or rather, I like that kinda music, but I just don't get exposure to them that often. So I don't know the artistes who do that kinda music.
Oh, and a miracle happened today. My dad decided that he shall take a look at my "spoilt" keyboard, and so I plugged the keyboard in......And it worked like nothing happened. I guess it didn't work that time coz my sister blew moisture into the keyboard, but now that the moisture dried up, it works as per normal? Oh heck. So I practised the fingering CY thought me the other time, and I think I'm getting a lot better! yay! =)
Played Pangya today too. Coz I was desperate for anything to get away from Physics. Really. Physics is worse than math. At least when I look at math, I know roughly what means what. I know a minus sign means you gotta subtract things. But Physics? No.....My mind goes *poof* - BLANK.
I know, procrastination gets me nowhere. I will start on physics. soon.
Yining and Sammie coming over for a Study Sleepover tomorrow! haha. My mum's not very approving of the idea of a study sleepover....but...oh wells.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maybe I sound a bit happier than I really am today. Maybe it's the excitement of my slamming of the lappy actually working. But I really felt at a lost today. I don't know what I am doing, where I'm heading towards. Life seems meaningless. Not the first time I felt that though, so I suppose it'll pass. Nevertheless...The sudden bout of loneliness wouldn't go away. The blurry patch of darkness still looms in front of me. How does darkness appear blurry? But it's that way for me anyway. I'm just a small tiny being in this entire universe. The universe - vast emptiness. Who will actually miss me if I were gone? What difference would it have made? Really. If I were to tell myself that my life has a meaning, a meaning of significance. Then I would really be deluding myself.
As water comes down on me, I cry, senselessly, meaninglessly. My tears blending with everything else, like they don't exist in the first place.When has it been since this kinda...whatcha call it.....state of mind. State of soul. When has it been since this kinda state of soul last settled over me? I know stuff that triggers it..Particular incidents, or perhaps recounting certain parts of my past....my childhood perhaps? haha. It always start it off, like an endless ball of yarn rolling down the hill. The cat started it. Man, I have weird sense for imagery. Haha. Oh wells...
That's what made me different from Sammie and Yining I guess.
As Sammie said...
"We are all so different."Labels: holidays, life, thoughts
11:32 PM
When you smile at me, I cry
And to save your life I'll die
With a romance that is pure heart,
You are my dearest part
Whatever it requires,
I live for your desires
Forget my own, your needs will come before
Who could ever love you more?
Well there is nothing you could ever do,
To make me stop, loving you
And every breath I take,
Is always for your sake
You sleep inside my dreams and know for sure
Who could ever love you more?
~ (excerpt) Miracle / Celine Dion
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
CQ wrote a poem!!! And since it's so nice and beautiful (it wasn't beautiful at first coz of one part. But I made him change it.) and I haven help him create a blog yet...I shall post it here! X)
.::. there's a small announcement at the end of the post. after cq's poem. so read that kay?
Friend Or Fiend ?
by- ~[::+h3 Un5p0k3n::]~
1
The strong bond of friendship
On that fateful day it began
Connected like a bag and a zip
I knew I've found a friend
2
The magic feeling did not let me down
I've got the greatest friend that ever could be found.
Across rivers and behind trees
On top of every mountain is a part of you and me.
3
Together forever, no matter how long
Now until the end as our lives prolong
It's forever and a day
As friends, that's how long we'll stay
4
Being friends means to stick together
In the sun or in the heavy weather
Smile after smile, that's how it should be
At the end of the day just you and me
5
When times get rough
And the going gets tough
You get me up on my feet
A friend in need is a friend indeed
6
Ran out of money
You lend me some
Need help for duty
I knew you'd come
7
Take a hard fall
You help me up
My drink drops to the floor
You'd buy me a cup
8
Desperate for a game
You'd play with me all day
To the LAN shop you came
Despite the price to pay
9
When it comes to work
If i need help, you'll teach
Whoever calls me a jerk
You'll give him a knuckle sandwich
10
It all seemed so great and hopeful
That my life would be so beautiful
Never did i expect that you
Would treat me like a fool
11
The magic feeling has disappeared
What's happening is what I've feared
Betrayal was your option
And so was all the deception
12
I thought we had something special
And that we could be friends forever
My wishful thinking led to peril
Now you're nothing i want to remember
13
We did something wrong together
And we were both in the same boat
But when they looked into the matter
You chose to make me scapegoat
14
I was shocked that you did'nt come forward
I never knew you were such a coward
What's more was after the incident
You left me alone with this burden
15
And as if that wasnt enough
You dealt me a harder blow
You tell me our friendship was just a bluff
Which held nothing to show
16
The trust and the faith in you
Lost within the blink of an eye
I crumbled to depths but i pulled through
I was wishing you would die
17
When the years came to an end
How long did friendship live?
I had a fiend for a friend
There was nothing more to give
18
Looking back at my stupidity
Regret and sorrow are all there is
I still ponder in serenity
How fragile friendship truly is
------------------------
A/n: Anyway, Daniel suggests that we all go for a trip end of this year (Oct,aft promos), to either St John's Island or Aloha or Cameron Highlands! LOL. and CQ says that he'll go if enough people go...So? Any takers?? HAHA. Shan? Sammie? (as usual, daniel says even those he don't know also can go lah...i bet he just wanna get to know more girls. lol.) It's gonna be a "before-we-mug-and-die-for-a-levels" trip! or as cq puts it..."before-we-mug-and-own-a-levels-trip"....which ever way you look at it lah. haha.
Links to places Daniel suggested:
Aloha (personally, i don like aloha. so we don go there k? XP)
St John's IslandCameron Highlands
Labels: holidays, life, poetry
10:58 PM
Yep. This is a post purely because I have nothing better to do. My brain's fried from excessive math and I'm officially brain dead.
Studying here with sammie and yining. But as usual, I cannot study for hours with no breaks. So, I brought my laptop, thinking maybe I'll watch some anime or drama in between. And I found that I can connect to wireless@sg from here! WOW!
I don't wanna go back to math...=(
MATH IS EVIL!!!! BOOHOO...
To my right is a sign that says "Students are reminded not to occupy these seats for studying. They are strictly reserved for Burger King customers only. Your co-operation is much appreciated." Without us, where are their customers? XP
I shall mug. And I will survive. By the end of Thursday (12mn), I should have finished revising my physics and math. To clear way for my econs mugging. And china studies. Though I have pretty much given up hope on my china studies. Oh wells. Save my favorite for the last. haha. Though I won't score well for econs, but at least I'll enjoy mugging it. Much more than say....MATH. AND PHYSICS WHICH I HAVE NOT STARTED ON YET.
on a brighter note, I shall watch Grey's Anatomy tonight! Got inspired by a couple of friends' blog posts. Haha. Shall finish Grey's Anatomy Season 3, then start on Desperate Housewives. And mug between episodes.
Labels: holidays
Monday, June 18, 2007
A normal day. Went school to mug/play bridge with jeanette. But ended up playing dai di coz everyone wants to mug and not play bridge. played a bit of bball coz kuanboon (did i spell his name wrgly?) and shunta and this guy i donno was there. so long nvr touch proper bball le. er...did decent mugging. that i was proud of. met a few pple...none that deserve any special mention thou. mugging with sammie tmr i think.
actually really nothing much happened today lah. sigh. i'm so gonna die for physics and math.
Labels: holidays
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Didn't really go blog surfing..But I did go around visiting a couple of blogs which I have not visited for a long time. And guess what? I discovered a trend! RJC people are a bunch of emo dudes. Haha. But seriously, compare all our blogs with blogs of people our age but elsewhere, our blogs tend to comprise of a lot more emotional and...reflectional?...posts. Lots of subjective "theories" and "enlightenings" on the deeper emotional issues, of the heart and human nature. This is not stereotyping, coz it's a trend I've noticed from visiting rj and non-rj friends' blogs.
So what has caused this? I wonder..
I'm sure it wasn't my illusion when I found myself fitting in more over here in RJ. The fact, that I feel more or less more comfortable around here simply because there are more people who emo more openly, is highly disturbing. But true nevertheless. And because I don't feel like I'm the odd one out, and that I'm not all that weird and extreme, I tend to emo less too. Sure, I'm still weird and extreme in comparison, but it's really a lot better these days. Maybe I feel like I can identify with everyone better now, since I no longer feel like I'm the only one experiencing these troubles, worrying over the same trivial matters, basically growing up, going through the age of 17. Reading other blogs help. The fact that some friends come up to me time and time again to tell me how stressful/emotionally tiring their lives are at this time, helps a lot too. Reading blogs help too.
True, so far I've not found a single person with the entire set of problems I have. But it's comforting enough to know that there are people who experiences a couple of the problems I have. And I'm sure they have problems I do not have in the person.
It hurts though, that when I got to know someone so similar to me, it just wouldn't work. maybe it was an illusion. aiyah, nevermind, who cares about the past, particularly something you wanna get over with?
ANYWAYZ....finally got some decent studying done today. Still got lots to go yet though. Full time mugging starts today! sigh. And I kinda dread going back to school? Coz that would mean I would have to know the "final judgement" on my handphone incident. Haiz.
Labels: thoughts
Friday, June 15, 2007
Boohoo. My tagboard got problem. haiz.
Anywayz, my sore throat's gone! YAY! thanks to all the water I've drunk. haha.
I really hate being 17. 18's like so near yet so far. No M-18 movies, no alcohol, etc, etc. (etc coz i can't really think of any other stuff. but that's not the point.)
POTC was great!!!! Haha. And I like the soundtrack. bingliang was saying that after the movie, that the music was good. and i thought i was the only one who paid attention to it! haha. i bet shuyi will buy the soundtrack after it comes out? will coup from her then. haha.
and i really really get why shan's so crazy over johnny depp. i get it. but i'm still not crazy over him. sorry to disappoint u shan.
and i still haven satisfy my craving for quakers cereal. damn.
i shall start full-time mugging. soon.
and i conclude that i don't like yippy dogs. i like those which either bark in a lower tone, or bark in BARKS and not a string of indistinguishable barks.
and i think it's cool to keep rabbits at home without locking it in a cage/hatch. saw people keeping rabbits this way twice today already.
and guinea pig once. kawaii!
and i think i'm starting to like cats a lot. they are so cute!! when i was giving out flyers, one of them came to rub against me. haha.
shit, now i'm craving for chocolate icecream.
and i swear i'll go into a session of blog surfing. soon. maybe after the CTs.
and i need money for shopping!!! argh! I already have my july allowance planned out! my gosh. where am i gonna get money for GSS???
in case you haven't noticed. this is full of random stuff. coz i'm dead tired from giving out flyers today. haha. ciao.
Labels: holidays
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Been practising ruan for the past hour...And I feel proud of myself! and guilty. Coz I realised just how long I've not touched the instrument. Haha. Oh! But the theory that guitar helps playing ruan is proven!!!! HAHA. partially coz the skin around the area on my fingers which presses the frets are harden? So I can practise ruan for a longer time without resting. And also, it's a bit about precision when pressing the frets, and when strumming. haha.
Oh, my sis is attempting to learn guitar too! but o levels leh...yet i wonder whether she'll learn faster. haha. she's always the faster learner..
Didn't watch POTC in the end today, coz bingliang's sister lost too much blood at the dentist and had to rest? haha. nvm! tomorrow we shall all go and watch POTC!!! YAY! i love watching movie in big groups! haha. i watched the first two at home too, finally!!! They were great! yay! and i get why shan like johnny depp so much le. haha.
Oh a not so happy note, my progress at ruan is unbelievably slow. boo. =( oh wells, and i can't spend too much time on it either, since I do have a common test to mug for.
Bought lots and lots of A levels books yesterday and today! My gosh...I bet I looked like a freak to the popular staff. Haha. But I really need the resources. Bought physics textbook, math textbook, some guides which i found rather useful...and GP matters! and i bought an exercise book on econs case studies too. and econs essays and gp essays books. AND GP MATTERS! that one should be damn useful lah..
And i realise how my posts are getting shorter. signs of 1) a meaningless "holiday" and 2) unreasonable and unjustified busy-ness. haiz.
Thanks sammie for going down to bras basah and get picks for me! yay!!! and thx fengheng for accompanying her!!
i shall try rollarblading again tmr night i think.
and i want a basketball! seriously. what's the point of having a holiday when i can't play properly.
and i can't even play dota coz stupid cq's friend died. =(
and i shall try my best to get my dad to stop procrastinating and actually do something about my spoilt keyboard. it's been 2 mths for goodness sake!
and i think i like the new flyers employer. haha.
--------------------------------
ADD ON (11.54pm): before i go to bed, a few more rants.
- I have a sore throat. Doesn't affect my voice yet. But it's uncomfortable.
- I wanna blog surf! Realised just how many blogs i wanna visit but don have the time to. boo. blog surfing is fun.
- I lost the key-fingering chart for ruan yifang and sihui drew for me! boohoo..
- I WANT TO EAT QUAKERS CEREAL!!! STUPID SORE THROAT. and i still haven ask mum to buy it yet. haha.
- i feel like playing pangya all of a sudden. seriously, all the random cravings.
Labels: holidays, rant
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Okay...maybe I'm still not completely un-emo yet. Feeling a bit tired of living this life. But I'm feeling better. Seriously, what is wrong with me...Life is kinda good right now, so why am I wasting it by feeing sad, missing people, etc? Nevermind, I suppose this is just a phase. The tired of my life currently, it's just a phase. Or maybe it's just a stage of life which is very tiring..or I haven't developed emotionally and mentally enough to handle such a life? Anyhow, it'll pass.
Anyway, quiz frenzy! X)
You are The Empress
Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.
The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.
The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
|
You aren't sure where you came from. Perhaps your sire did an embrace and run. Or maybe your sire was an outcast himself. Either way, your powers are unique and really don't belong to any clan...or maybe a little from each. Because you of these circumstances, you aren't really sure where you belong. You tend to wander and do a bit of soul searching in your eternal life. Maybe some day...you have a while after all.
What Vampire Clan Do You Belong To?
|
Horus
Sparkling personality, intense will, intelligent, understanding, impatient to exert influence.
Colors: male: red carmine, female: gold
Compatible Signs: Bastet, Geb
Dates: Apr 20 - May 7, Aug 12 - Aug 19
Role: God of the pharaoh
Appearance: Form of a falcon-headed man, wearing the double crown of Upper and Lower Egypt
Sacred Animal: falcon
What is Your Egyptian Zodiac Sign?
Designed by CyberWarlock of Warlock's Quizzles and Quandaries
|
And I have a sore throat coming up. Can feel slight effects of it today le. ARGH! drink lots of water!!!!
Watching POTC tomorrow with Bingliang X)
Labels: quiz, thoughts
10:57 PM
Well, same old routine of distributing flyers yesterday. My life is getting monotonous! LOL. Bad weather, plus I went late. And the blocks I got assigned to were the short shophouses kind, which meant I needed to walk a lot more to reach fewer households. Hmph. Oh wells.
Got back to reading agatha christie btw. Don't know how I endured so long, not reading her. But I got super emo too. Not entirely the books' fault I know, it's a combination of everything that's been happening these couple of days. The places I've been, what I've seen, heard...
Went back to school to coup a zhongruan home! haha. Must practice. Sigh. I'm always such a slow learner. But then I just realised I still haven buy zhong ruan pick yet. Oh wells, sammie's gonna be in the area today. I asked her to get for me if it's convenient. Or I can go down tomorrow, or this weekend to get.
As I was going home, sammie called. And without thinking, I went down to serangoon to accompany her and fengheng. Until 11pm+. I said, I wasn't thinking. Guess it was coz i was emo-ing lah. sigh. Really desperately needed alcohol too...to get me high. I wasn't capable of keeping myself high and happy for any time longer. And sammie's senior (who happened to be in fengheng's band and was jamming at the studio) could have bought for me! but sammie said she'll disown me if he bought for me. so sigh. haha. on another note, he's quite cute! LOL. just a comment. nth implied. hee. and sammie always thinks i'm implying something. aiyo. can't really rmb his name, think he's cjc hockey captain or something. aiya, doesn't matter. haha. so what i was emo-ing, i can still enjoy looking at cute guys. haha
shoots. i realise i started ranting again. how long has it been since i last started the ranting habit on my blogs? LOL.
Let's see...what's coming up (and to look forward to, so CTs are NOT included):
CHMA! - catholic high music awards. went last year and it was damn good! so i'm going again. haha. serious, if i went with no one to support, and yet i'm going again this year, then you have to trust me that it is good. oh, but fengheng's playing this year so does my presence count as supporting? nah...at most, i'm just accompanying sammie who wants to show her support. but even if sammie wasn't going, i would have gone. that's how good CHMA was.
POTC - i think i'm watching the movie sometime this week! yay!
always think of what's there to look forward to. cheers you up indefinitely.
was emo-ing actually...but something happened that cheered me up! so yea. won blog abt that lah. haha. i still got restrain. learned to screw the blogging tap tighter nowadays...and stricter with censoring myself. haha.
speaking of alcohol cravings..I'm craving for Quakers cereal. of all randomness. haha.
Labels: holidays
Monday, June 11, 2007
Went for another round of flyer distributing with Sammie...Our timing definitely improved! YAY! lol. What's even more cool is that we met two different people who gave us their namecards, asking us to contact them for flyer distributing! One of them even work with teenagers like us on projects etc, so future options for holiday jobs may not be limited to flyer distribution etc anymore! YAY! haha. I think Sammie's really sick of flyer distribution le. She keeps complaining about her legs aching. Someone who runs like twice a week during training. LOL. But then, I walk to the mrt every morning for school and she doesn't. Plus walking and running uses completely different sets of muscles..So I guess it can't be helped lah. LOL.
After doing flyers, sammie went to save fengheng! LOL. he has a job, tending the studio his friend owns and had no money to eat. so he just skipped lunch. my gosh..plus he was sick. sammie was so worried lah. HAHA. oh wells, so she's going there to accompany him..till 11pm. my gosh. everyday till 11pm other than training days, by the time they get home will be round 12+? where are they gonna get the energy for training on wednesday lah. diao..
Went to complete my shopping at metro! (got dragged away by my sis yesterday mah..) There are two potential buys!!! BUT must wait till cash flows in bah..But 26 bucks only!!! and they are quite comfortable...not bad lorh. haha.
i really want dresses! X(And there are spaghettis on sale $11.90 for two. hmm....maybe shall go ask shan whether she wanna share a not. but wait till i got money bah. haiz.
Labels: holidays, shopping
Sunday, June 10, 2007
I'm still emoing...but yet happy! Does that make sense? I guess not..But it's true. I'm happy coz today felt more meaningful and productive...but I'm still emo-ing. I guess I'm not really used to people not wanting to talk to me? What am I saying...I mean, since the beginning of this year, I felt like it's been easy..a bit too easy that it's out of the ordinary in fact..for me to make friends this year. So all of a sudden, there's somebody I wanna get closer to (become better friends i mean) and i hit a wall. I'm not used to that. Fine.
Anyway! ONto my productive day!!! HAHA. and Disney's on the Record is a nice compilation!!! Thanks Paul! it makes people happy. haha.
Went to Giant and Ikea tampines with dad today! Been such a long time since we've been on a father daughter "outing" and it felt good. Best of all, we didn't argue at all! not the slightest bit! HAHA. Today's a rare day...
And dad just lent me a mp4. I still don't like it. I want a sony mp3. But guess I can't complain. Wait till I can buy one bah. But music helps. Really. Can't believe I've lived without music on the go for so long. Can you feel my sigh of relief?
And I studied math!!!! The longest stretch of time I've ever studied since the holidays started. HAHA. Next week's fully packed though. Gotta push most of what's left to mug to the last week. argh. I hope I make it.
Wanted to shop a bit after studying one...But sis was hungry so got dragged back home in the middle of my shopping. Sigh. Guess that's a good thing. Not much money to shop le..And got to return huiying 60 bucks. haha. and i promised sammie a windfall too. LOL. Oh wells, maybe I'll leave the shopping to the last week, when I MAY have more money. XP
I LOVE DISNEY! lol. brings back innocence and simplicity..while I emo over many things, while I miss people and they don't even know it, I still get to experience a bit of innocence and simplicity. It's good. It's bliss.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Laptop was spoilt. But I'm back!!! Muahahahaha. I think I'll never survive on an isolated island without electricity for weeks. Three days without internet and I was on the verge of dying. LOL.
Film soc chalet was great! Though I was a little dissapointed. But that's just me, not the chalet itself. haha. I baked a cake early in the morning with sammie, thinking it's zijian's birthday..But guess what? IT's NOT~! boohoo. Fransisco keyed in wrongly on the contact list. Sigh. So well..anyway, we didn't eat the cake in the end, coz stupid chalet receptionist didn't put the cake somewhere out of reach from ANTS. sigh. so it's ants' feast in the end. oh wellz.
AND WE PLAYED MAHJONG ALL NIGHT! haha. I didn't sleep at all. It's bad when you love mahjong and cards and yet your family doesn't gamble. Not that I like gambling. fine. i don't really like gambling coz it takes away money which can be used on shopping. BUT it's bad coz you don't get the chance to play the games often enough! sigh...when will be the nxt time i get to play mahjong? possibly december bah...anywayz, i learnt a lot more mahjong rules from sherry and waihan! haha. yesh, can play proper mahjong during new year party le! i think so far fetched lah..haha. PEOPLE, MUST COME FOR MY NEW YEAR PARTY NEXT YEAR. lol. this year's new year party was quite sian. boohoo. oh wells.
Sherry and I took the ferris wheel! X)
Oh. and during chalet, we found out something. Mcdonald's is plastic. LOL. yesh, plastic is a new swear word. haha. word of warning..don eat east coast mcdonald's bagel..it's plastic according to Kinwai. I shall post a photo of the bagel to prove the point soon. haha. Oh, and mcdonald's coffee makes you hungry..that's why it's free flow. haha.
Sunrise on the 8th is good...really unlike the sunrise on 4th feb..It's so much prettier..
I passed by that stretch of beach again, btw. While I was cycling to get to visit sammie at her class bbq. And I realised just how I've been avoiding that part of the beach ever since then. I know I should face it..but..Really, I'm alright, and it's really over. But those memories still hurt I guess. Anyhow, I'm glad I didn't let the sadness take over for too long. Chalet was still enjoyable for me! haha.
AND I DECLARE ALCOHOL ISH GOOD. alcohol is good for health afterall what. XP lol.
I'm like cutting this post really short. Really had a lot to blog about...but, now that it's past for so long, so many things just doesn't seem like it must be blogged about anymore. I'm an impulse blogger. Things sit around for too long in my head and I just end up not blogging about it. haha.
Labels: cca, holidays
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Okay..that's random. But my sister's super sweet and nice to me today, and huiying's my saviour! <3
Anyway, quote of the day: "Is that an empire cut?" - Fengheng
LOL.
Went to do door to door flyers today (wednesday) with sammie, only to find out that they pay after 3 days of work. Sigh. So we did like siao, and then I went to be a huge lightbulb when sammie went to meet fengheng at orchard! yay! lol. fengheng's like a lamb....don't ask me where that came from. so anyway, he really knows nothing abt fashion, and as i was people watching with sam, we commented something abt empire cut dresses and leggings and fengheng started getting fashion lessons from us. haha. then after that he started going "is that an empire cut?" whenever some lady walks past. he asked that even when someone wearing baju kurung walked past! oh man...and sammie was like, can you think before you ask? LOL.
film soc's chalet is later today! yay! haha...gonna be super busy lah. first need to wake up early to do "something" and then pack bag, and then go over to bishan to meet huiying, and then to boon lay to meet the woman who's selling me the purple dress, and then go over to chalet. LOL.
oh wellz,probably should sleep soon..or else no energy later. ciao! probably won blog for these two days. haha.
p.s. i've just decided i shall mug with shan and daniel this sunday. but then i haven ask them yet. shan, if you happened to read this, tell whether u can ok? and ask daniel for me. haha. i'll probably ask sammie...provided she's not mugging with fengheng that day.
Labels: holidays
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Listened repeatedly to Shang Hu Hai and Wu Ding. I conclude that Lara is pro. Coz compared to Wu Ding, the female part for Shang Hu Hai is so much more difficult to sing. Seriously.
Anyway, I have a second conclusion to make. I am useless at math.
4:17 PM
I've been blogging at such odd hours that it's hard to keep track of which day I'm blogging about? haha. Anyway, I'm blogging about Monday! Which was a fun day!!!!
To be completely honest, it's not really great throughout the whole day. But I guess I got out of the bed on the right foot? haha. Been rather lucky really..Found this advertisement on classifieds for flyer distributors, so I called in. It's at AMK and not some ulu far away place, so it's great! haha. Will be there at 10am tmr morning...Come visit me! heh..
The one bad thing that happened was that class outing got cancelled. Boohoo. Was looking forward to it lorh. Sigh. As Kaiqi said, all that matters is what memories we want to take away with us. But what can I do when there is no outlet for me to collect those memories? haha.
But oh wellz, Meiyi's "never-say-die" spirit triumph again! I guess the flyers incident got me into a good mood? So I'm optimistic. On top of obstinate. I refuse to allow the cancellation of the class outing dampen my spirits. What's more, I already changed out and all set to go! If there wasn't class outing, I would have gone to watch Shrek 3 with shuyi and paul and abtzy! So....guess what I did? I got shuyi to buy tickets for me, while i rush there. By the time I got there, I missed like half, or maybe more than half, of the movie. Oh wells. haha. There was this other guy there btw, but I didn't really catch his name. My bad. But he's really pro at drifting the car when we went to play Need For Speed: Carbon at E2Max afterwards. Haha. I was like pathetic at the game lah. And paul has hidden talent for racing!!! LOL.
Shuyi needed to leave later on, and I left with her. A bit weird to stay with the guys afterall, especially when I only know paul well. Plus, i should accompany my dear friend shuyi! haha. ok, i'm crapping. Anyway, I didn't wanna go home so early, so I decided that I wanna go bugis and shop! especially since it's the great singapore sale, and i've not been to bugis for more than 6 mths? Yay! called waihan up and we went shopping..Got this pair of shorts - very similar to the ones I saw over at Malaysia the other time. Saw it at bugis junction Details going at $29.90 (which was lots cheaper than what i saw in malaysia), but luckily I had enough paitience to wait. Went to the Bugis Street and found the exact same pair of shorts going at $19.90! YAY! Afterwards just shopped aimlessly around, like going OG and see how aunty the clothes can get, and going to toys section to see if there's anything to poke at. Oh! and i got a new handphone pouch. finally. I conclude here that waihan is sadistic. coz every single cute thing gets a miserable fate under his description. for example, he'll say that the handphone pouch of jumbled teddy bear patterns very cute...only to say that they are squashed together like sardine and very stuffy, going to die, that's why it's very cute. Man...after that description where got cute anymore lorh. LOL.
ANYWAYZ, HERE'S THE HANDPHONE POUCH I GOT!
Waihan says it's cute...coz it has a "I'm dead." expression. DIAO. oh wells, let's see what the film soc guys will say abt his new CUTE AND KIDDIE watch then...heh! that's really cute lah.
Afterwards, I went home, and on the mrt was talking to sammie on phone, and discovered that she's having class bbq at east coast on thursday! yay! she can come crash film soc! lol. and i may finally be able to meet feng heng? haha. hear so much from her must see for myself lah! lol. so maybe I'll be able to meet up with her much earlier than our scheduled "third week of hols" afterall. man...I hate being in different JCs. Miss her so much more. Wasn't this bad back in secondary schools lorh..at least we had more time to meet up.
Oh, and sammie and fengheng wants to intro me to this new friend. Might go out as a foursome sometime during the hols. I like making new friends!
Okay, I'm high. I think you all can tell lah. haha. Today's a fun fun fun day! yay! I really should study more. haha.
Oh, watched grey's anatomy today.
MEREDITH: Today is the day people. Today is the day when dark and twisty Meredith disappears forever. And bright and shiny Meredith takes her place. You're probably not going to want to be friends with me anymore cause the sheer intensity of my happiness will make your teeth hurt. That's okay, 'cause life is good. Life is good.
p.s. my private blog is starting to be happy rather than sad! yay! i love myself! XP
Labels: holidays
Monday, June 04, 2007
Is it normal for me to have sudden bursts of sadness while I'm leading such a 'happier' life? I mean, having seconds when I feel that tickle up in my nose, and having to control, or else tears would flow, when all I was doing was watching television and there was nothing emotional on the screen? When I wasn't even thinking of anything sad? But at least it's not uncontrollable.
Yes, I'm extreme. I come to realise that, and accepted it as well. (sean called me extreme and dramatic twice in this month!) But I'm normal right?
Haha. The night makes me think of weird stuff. but then, this isn't really night anymore is it? it's 4am! Oh wells, nitez.
Labels: life, thoughts
Saturday, June 02, 2007
At 6am in the morning, my brain was dead. Now I know what was the word I really wanted to use. I feel accomplished. ACCOMPLISHED. yesh. haha.
Anyway, just woke up from 5 hours of sleep...and don't feel like touching the layout yet. Will do the rest of the troubleshooting of the layout later in the day.
AND I LINKED FILM SOC! YAY! go see! some of our videos, albeit a bit nonsensical, are posted and are real nice! not to mention real fun to make! haha.
http://rjcfilm.blogspot.com/p.s. i blogged a public post on my private blog..the one on LJ. haha. can go and read if you want.
Labels: cca, life
11:40 AM
ARGH!!!! IT'S ALMOST 6AM AND I DID NOT SLEEP THE WHOLE NIGHT!!! sigh. got too engrossed in making the layout for film soc's blog. anyway, take a look!
http://rjcfilm.blogspot.comwill link it tmr instead. MUST SLEEP! before mum finds out at least. haha.
5:54 AM
I'm pissed with myself. I dropped yet another ear stud during shower just now and I can't find it. ARGH. This week must be "lose-my-earstuds" week. I've lost so far a grand total of 2 ear studs (from two different pairs of ear studs), broken another 2 ear studs (from yet another two different pairs of ear studs) and lost 1 rubber backing. hmm. so now i have 3 single ear studs of different designs. GREAT. oh wellz, i like wearing mismatched stuff anyway. haha.
And for film workshop today, (our very last session), we had showcase and something like a central judging....my group won!!! YAY! quite unexpected actually. i thought naichien's group will win...since theirs seemed so much more professional. anyhow, we won! yay! so....sherry, sisco, waihan and I each got ourselves a nice cap, "Peacekeeper War" DVD, May's issue of FIRST magazine featuring johnny depp (ok, shan, got it. u don't have to ask..will lend it to you. to oogle at. lol.) and "Sunshine" merchandise like a "space" pen, the box office poster, playing cards.
HAMMIETARO IS THE BEST!!!
Zijian created the film soc blog finally! yay! I shall spend the night trying to churn out a design for the blog...how ironic. I've not had the time (or rather the will) to design my own blog, yet i'm designing my cca's blog. haha.
Had a test-drive with the new basketball just now. it sucks. won't bounce properly. urgh. complained to my dad already. hopefully i'll get a new (and better) ball soon.
And has anyone NOT watched Pirates and the Caribbean 3 yet???
i shall go on a full day shopping trip soon. that's abt the only thing u can do in our small little island. it's singapore great sale now anyway. haha.
Labels: cca, life
Friday, June 01, 2007
BING LIANG JUST PROMISED TO TEACH ME DRUMS! WOOT!!!
haha...after his a levels of course! man...i asked him to teach, but i thought he forgot already lorh. YAY! I have someone to teach me drums le!!! X)
been surfing the net for handphone themes and games! yay!
read all my past blog entries the other day and realised just how much i've changed. for better or for worse i donno...but oh well. maybe i shall go read all the entires on my old blog. just for fun. haha.
Labels: life
