Because of you, millions of children shall be saved. People are more aware of what's going on with children abuse, and governments can no longer turn a blind eye. You're an angel to be remembered forever.
What the hell makes them think that a seventeen or eighteen year old like me can write good research essays, come out with a personal take and end with a refreshing and brand new conclusion. "The essay must be value-adding." What crap. Stupid cambridge. I cannot handle it. Why the hell did I take a subject that requires me to do independent study anyway??? urgh. I donno what the hell I'm doing. Everytime something becomes clearer for a second or two, it becomes blur again. Stupid. I'm bad with research, always have been. Fine, there are pro people. Humanities people prolly can do it really well. Most of the RJ people gonna ace. But I'm just a poor little girl stuck in a school well above her range and I'm gonna fail it. I wonder how the students from other schools manage. AT LEAST THEY DON'T FEEL PATHETIC WITH EVERYONE AROUND THEM BEING BRILLIENT. and there. yet, today i just chided someone for feeling doom. argh. I'm not feeling doom. I'm just saying i'm not up for the task, and never will. I don even think i'm capable of finishing this STUPID RETARDED ESSAY. what was junhan's response when he first heard of my question? "Isn't that something being researched before?" HELL NO. because I don't f***ing have enough materials, yet it's doable. Just that I need to do most of the work MYSELF, inferring here and there. Though I suppose everyone else is doing just that, the nature of their questions. But it would help if my question sounds a bit more impressive instead of giving people the impression that it's a slack question. But NO. and then next thursday I gotta present my ideas to the ENTIRE CSE COHORT, which isn't big anyway, but that's beside the point, and they'll all be thinking how slack the topic is, how it's not original, etc, etc, and i'll feel resentful and all, etc, etc, at the same time not being brilliant like them to take up refreshing topics involving game theory and what not because I already cannot really handle something I'm more familiar with like confucianism. Okay. I got to stop, or this shall go on and on. UGH.aron doiy uaeopfzrst
"What world famous cartoon character is unintentionally responsible for creating a new -- and now accepted -- connotation for the word nimrod, making the name of a Biblical hunter-king synonymous with idiocy? The sound you hear in the background is a supercilious hare munching theatrically on a carrot, as..."
The purpose of this entry is to try motivate myself to study. Because, I really don't feel like studying more. And this will not do, because I have TWO papers/subjects tomorrow (while almost the entire world has only one). So yes, I need to study. Now that my mood has calmed down, all that's left is to tackle the inertia.
So here goes, THINGS I WILL DO AFTER CTS
Do a layout. Whether I (am thick-skinned enough despite having such pro friends to) use it is another matter.
Go to the beach.
Be out of this world/Disappear into thin air for a day or two
Get Effly up and running. Do those thumbnails so that loading won't be horrendous. Do the much needed advertising.
Find somewhere secluded and stay there for 4 hours doing nothing. Zen.
Go Bugis.
THINGS I WILL DO AFTER A LEVELS even if that is ages away
Visit the very next IT show and purchase a) a digital camera, b) a camcorder, c) a tablet pc (this I may be able to get mum to sponsor), and/or d) a tablet.
Make sure I have the money when Windows 7 comes out. VERY IMPORTANT
Take guitar lessons.
Take Japanese lessons.
Learn the damn PHP first (before I think about anything else).
Work at an IT show.
Work somewhere else cool other than an IT show.
Learn beadwork.
Learn how to fold a rose.
Wach loads and loads of anime.
Watch loads and loads of drama/tv serials.
Maintain some website or another. I'm seriously out of touch. Haven't touched anything of that sort for at least a year. Gosh.
Okie. Am I motivated enough? Hmm... (listing stuff I want to do makes me feel happy and good. yay)
Main Entry: pity Pronunciation: \ˈpi-tē\ Function: noun Inflected Form(s): plural pit·ies Etymology:Middle English pite, from Anglo-French pité, from Latin pietat-, pietas piety, pity, from pius pious Date: 13th century
1 a: sympathetic sorrow for one suffering, distressed, or unhappy b: capacity to feel pity 2: something to be regretted
Main Entry: em·pa·thy Pronunciation: \ˈem-pə-thē\ Function: noun Etymology: Greek empatheia, literally, passion, from empathēs emotional, from em- + pathos feelings, emotion — more at pathos Date: 1850
1: the imaginative projection of a subjective state into an object so that the object appears to be infused with it 2: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also : the capacity for this
The difference between pity and empathy. I thought it was pity, and I got disgusted with the idea. And then I went to check the dictionary and found that it was empathy. Empathy because it's a human experience. Because it's not mere "sympathetic sorrow" but it feels as though I'm experiencing it all over again. AGAIN, just without the full extent of pain (as before).
I picked up the vibe last year. Maybe that's why my desire to know him is so strong. Because I can identify with him?
Anyway, my problem is not simply a mild case of inferiority complex, or pessimism..but it may have stemmed from my lack of ability to communicate my thoughts, ideas and feelings. Maybe that's the reason for my envy of good writers, artists and the like.
I felt empty. And so I started. Even though I told myself I won't, not before CTs. Even when I know I'd never be as good, (and maybe particularly so when compared to a special few), which was why I abstained for the past year (and that I have only just realized).
The world is filled with happy people. "The world was happier in the past...it used to be carefree..." - That's bullshit. The world is as happy as before. You can only find happy photo portraits on the net. Happy faces overwhelm those with any other kind of expression.
Or maybe the world is just too battered with negative feelings like anguish and sadness, and thus the world desires more positive images of faces filled with joy, hope and laughter. Or at least of confidence and defiance. Maybe, all the sadness, exasperation, bitterness, dejection, loneliness, pain and suffering can then, hopefully, be hidden behind all these smiling faces. We can now all be happy.
That's what many people do, right?
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Anyway, I spent about 2 hours looking for stock photos / photos with creative common license that convey the feel I want. Not exactly how I envisioned it, but let's see how it goes.
I can go on and on and on...like what I used to do. Stay up through the night, skip sleep. But I won't. Not just because there is Common Tests coming up and I really shouldn't be doing this and skipping sleep (I shouldn't be sourcing for stock in the first place) but also because I'm really not sure whether it's worth it - My stuff are gonna be sub-standard anyway. AMATEUR work. Stupid yucky. NOOB. Can be accomplished without skill. SKILL-LESS. Why does this girl go on and on like she is some pro when she has NOTHING to boast about. She thinks she is so good. Why does she like photoshop-ping so much when she is so LOUSY.
and i realise i'm ranting. it's the unearthliness of the hour, i swear.
Link
A review on one of my all-time-favourite malls! But it's very unknown...and the clothes there are mainly non-mainstream. More for people with unique taste. Haha...But really great mall..not crowded...great ambience...personalised..nice shops! Deserve to get publicity (so that it won't close down lol).
But then again, I wonder if it's closed down already. Coz it's been some time since I've been there. Hmmm..
drink :: ice lemon tea | chocolate milk | green tea | milo colour :: orange | pink | green anime :: bleach manga :: ouran high school host club books :: the day after forever by erin skiffington | the lovely bones by alice sebold authors :: agatha christie | jane austen music :: death cab for cutie | jay chou | muse
more;
ad...(+)
adprgsrjc
1/12F3M4M5P6Q10620631041008S05B
purple house buckle buckle-buckley
adp:it clublibraryeng dramachinese danceswimming
rg:handbellslibraryrjc:film societychinese orchestra japanese cultural club (once in jcc always in jcc!)
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I'm a girl, who's normal most of the time, but weird otherwise. My nickname in primary school was blurqueen, which was upgraded to BBQ Bizzarely Blurqueen in Secondary 2 during Primary 6 class reunion. I have a huge variety of interests, so I end up being very poor in time management.
random;
Friends, my brother and sisters, and my computer.
I take birthdays very seriously.
I love roses.
I love the late night.
I love manga and anime.
I love my cats, (schro)dinger and newton.
I love concerts.
