iBleach- Soul Generation of Music

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Butterfly Flutters By - Is there any meaning in my existence?

Film soc pple are either too lazy to go out, or not free.
CQ going to watch movie with his class afterall, so cannot play lan.
Why my life so pathetic?

The person I wanna see, I don't get to see. Shit.

Accompanied my sis to the library just now to return a book. On our way, we saw a cat. She was blinded in one eye. And she followed me. Then we came to a road and she continued following...When we were halfway across, and a truck was coming, she looked like she was going to cross! I dashed back in front of the truck to stop the cat from crossing...so that she won't follow me across the road. I think the truck driver must have thought I was crazy. I think my mum will ground me for life if she finds out. But so? I don't know...Maybe I don't value life as much as I used to. It's not like a sudden emo kinda thing, but it's a continuous thing. A sentiment that developed over time. Though I only mention it when I'm somewhat emo.

Why am I emo? Yet I cannot tell anyone outright, directly, every single thing that's making me emo this instant. Because this someone who can handle so much of my life doesn't exist.

I remember things that people say to me. Like how Wang said I'm the 'trying kind'. How Chuntsen said that I'm interesting. How people react when they realise that, while on the surface, I pretty much type everything on this blog. Yea, almost everything on the surface, I don't hide any. But yet, I keep so much more within. How amused they are when they realise that someone can actually have so much to tell, to say, to record down in her life. How despite announcing to the world pretty much everything superficial in my life, I still manage to keep a huge part of myself hidden. Not deliberately, just that no one bothered to read between the lines. No one bothered to understand.

I think I shall shut. and try to get my moods up.

As quoted from Kalyisah (Candy's classmate): "Flutter By" is just a mixture of "Butterfly". So "A butterfly flutters by." That is just something random.
Ciao.
I'm going to be a lonely person. Have been, always will be.

[EDIT: 11.39PM] Two episodes of Bleach in a row and it's still not helping my mood. Is there anyone in this world who feels my pain? Or do they just read my posts and go "oh...she's so melodramatic."? I think I shall just stay in bed the whole day tomorrow and brood. Since the whole world hates me. Or is likely to hate me. Or at least is indifferent towards me. What's the meaning of my existence in life really?

Labels: life, thoughts

10:15 PM

THE PRINCESS

name; melissa chan meiyi
age; 18
bdae; 210490
location; singapore

hates; hypocrites, betrayers and traitors
loves;

dr...(+)

more;

ad...(+)

~~adp~~ ~~rgs~~ ~~rjc~~

~~1/1~~ 2F 3M 4M 5P 6Q ~~106~~ ~~206~~ ~~310~~ ~~410~~ ~~08S05B~~

~~purple house~~ buckle ~~buckle-buckley~~

adp: ~~it club~~ ~~library~~ ~~eng drama~~ ~~chinese dance~~ ~~swimming~~

rg: ~~handbells~~ ~~library~~ rjc: ~~film society~~ ~~chinese orchestra~~ japanese cultural club (once in jcc always in jcc!)

-------------

I'm a girl, who's normal most of the time, but weird otherwise. My nickname in primary school was blurqueen, which was upgraded to BBQ Bizzarely Blurqueen in Secondary 2 during Primary 6 class reunion. I have a huge variety of interests, so I end up being very poor in time management.

random;
Friends, my brother and sisters, and my computer.
I take birthdays very seriously.
I love roses.
I love the late night.
I love manga and anime.
I love my cats, (schro)dinger and newton.
I love concerts.

Me @ Twitter

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THE KINGDOM

My DeviantART
My Livejournal (more private entries than public though, and much abandoned as of now.)