Wednesday, February 28, 2007
i feel happy. coz i conditioned my hair. hahahaha. it was soooo yucky....no time to condition it for sooooo long. but it's nice now! yay! hahahaha..
seriously, i try and try to study physics le. but i don have the mood. and my hamster might have tumour.
i think my god-hamster's gonna be on my mind for now. i can't stop thinking of the fact that it has tumour. i mean, hyperactive vicky has tumour???? maybe that's why i don't feel sad. coz it doesn't feel real. and there's no confirmation from the vet yet, so it may not be true.
but instinct tells me it's true.
oh, random fact. i call it vicky but my sis calls it cream.
i need to study.
oh, my mum just moved vicky out into the outside corridors.
i want a dog. i really really really really want a dog. i feel like throwing a tantrum now.
at least the tumour isn't that big. yet. so it's not suffering. just low immunity. and fatigue. at least it can still eat.
shit. i m assuming it's a tumour. it MAY NOT be a tumour.
i m like going in circles. i need to study.
Labels: random, rant
10:38 PM
my god-hamster is suspected of having tumour.
it is my god-hamster, because it is not officially my hamster. it's my sister's hamster. it is born on
september 11 last year. that's a random fact. but anyway, it is my god-hamster also because I bought a lot of stuff for it, dote on it like
siao, and paid 20 bucks of the 44bucks vet bills last week when it got eye infection.
thing is, i don feel sad. i feel numb.
maybe it's
coz i just don spend that much time with it. i don have the time to do so. considering the amount of time i am actually home.
but it really is one of the
guai-est, most adorable hamster
i've ever seen...met..i hope that lump in the throat isn't tumour. my sis is like afraid to bring it to the vet because she don't wanna hear the vet confirm it as tumour. tumour surgery would have easily cost us up to 400 - 900 bucks. that is money which we do NOT have.
and my mum's pressurizing us to dump it. my mum seriously lacks compassion. =(
ok, maybe not really...but she lacks compassion towards hamsters.
foul
smell's one of the symptoms of tumour. and it smells bad now. and it's cage is right outside my room's window. not that i am complaining out loud. that would have worsen my sister and my stand on keeping the hamster.
SIGH.
anywayz, i shall blog about school today!!! I stayed back in school to mug...school's really a great environment to mug in.
coz even when you take a nap, you won't sleep for hours and not wake up. and the breeze is nice...
XPi mug and mug until near 7pm. but it was still raining. haven stopped for even a single second the whole afternoon. luckily, saw
zei downstairs and his dad gave me a lift to
bishan mrt. phew. or
i'll probably stay in school until 8+ pm.
oh, and
i'm gnna fail physics lecture test
tmr. it'll be a miracle if i don't.
the littlest things make me happy. but these little things are also things that rarely happen in school....maybe it's not really healthy to look forward to these little things. hoping for these little things. i feel like an idiot.
haha. but i feel happy anyway.
hee..X)
i love my little brother. that's random. i think he loves me too...at least for now. it's another matter when he actually grows up. but i love him anyway.
all of a sudden, i wanna meet
eug's dogs.
XPLabels: random, school
Monday, February 26, 2007
i guess my life's still confused. but clearer? i think so. or maybe that's an illusion due to my busier lifestyle now? i donno anymore. i really loved wangting's script. maybe coz, it kinda suit what i feel to a certain extent. haha...
but the cure to insomnia is really just piling on of work in short term. i realize all of a sudden, i need to catch up on china studies. seriously catch up.
was sad in sch today actually. coz of some realization of things. several things. things about my class. and other stuff. but peizhi helped. thx peizhi...for helping me cope with the realization over the class. and i guess, tonight i settled some other stuff too. so that leaves me with two fewer stuff at the back of my head. and yes, i know i don't make sense to most right now.
sianying forwarded some marine scouts external cca thingie...hmm...it sounds fun. shall i go ahead and pile myself with more stuff? haha.
and in case you pple din realise, i finally cleared up my links. din bother go around checking which links work or not thou. just deleted blogs that i have not visited for more than a year. with the exception of the very few who i think are special enough, despite my not visiting their blogs for more than a year. haha.
i need to increase my confidence in myself. i know i need to. but i donno how to. so...i should learn something..increase self-worth...or something like that.
i crap.
i'm gnna slp. early. surprise, surprise.
Labels: random, thoughts
Sunday, February 25, 2007
- Watch The Stars The Stars They Say on youtube. http://youtube.com/watch?v=hs5Ee8D8tAU
- Listen to The Stars The Stars They Say's debut single.
http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=2C03071D6D26FE3B - Read Ian's blog. And laugh. http://oinkmoobaa.blogspot.com/
now...
BRAINSTORMING OF Trios. (check tagboard at the side for what i am talking abt.)
- BBDF Cast
- BBDF Cast
- BBDF Cast
seriously, do i KNOW any other THREE people other than BBDF Cast????
oh, wait. i do.
4. Val, Suen and Jiaxi?
but that's like less likely. they are not the rose people. I'm like the only one who likes rose here lah!
HMM....................................
i give up. Shan, Mel and YW, are you the ones? i feel shameless asking man. haha.
Labels: random
11:27 PM
I've slept for the whole day. minus the few hours i woke up to have brunch with family and random "family friends", i really slept for the whole day. productions are tiring. but nevertheless fulfilling. although I didn't really play much of a role in it, it still felt great. We didn't win though, btw. I really really thought that BB would clinch best script..but we didn't. Apparently, the judges were biased against depressing dramas.
And I need to clarify something. If you felt that the friday BB drama was kinda out of sorts, it's probably my fault. Coz I started the first track to late and abrupt, the 2nd track was totally the wrong track altogether, the 3rd, 4th and 5th all missed their cues. And if you happened to know how much music can affect moods in a drama, you would realize that I screwed up. BIG TIME. oh wellz, the good thing is...I didn't screw up yesterday! =))) not big time anyway...I played JR a few seconds late...but that was it! no major screw ups. XP
And that kinda like my personal achievement kinda thing? I was concentrating so hard that I didn't really appreciate the performance shan, mel and yw put up. That's kinda sad...but I bet they did great, coz wangting said so...and a million other pple said so...so YAY! haha..
But now that DF is over...I guess i'm kinda sad. Over the past few weeks, I've really bonded with the DF pple..It's like losing an entire family, you know? And yewei put it right in that email he sent...We'll all surely drift apart now that we don't have to see each other everyday after school. In fact, we won't see each other at all, other than along the hallways..Okay, maybe with exception of Eug, Sherry, Elena and me, since I'm always so kaypo and go and crash their class..haha. So yarh, we will drift apart. And i guess i need time to get use to that..oh man, i really don wanna drift apart. I know...that's like super childish thinking...but I really don't. It's that old habit of mine to not move on and stay emotionally attached to something. haiz. i shall concentrate on learning that music theory and get back onto the web design wagon..sigh. i still feel crappy.
anywayz, my mum agreed that i can bring friends over on my birthday! =))) which is slightly more than a month away...haha. and i've just decided to start saving up for chalets at the end of this year! I'm gonna have a chalet and invite all my friends!!!! =))) hee....that's something to look forward to..
Friday, February 23, 2007
EVERYONE CHECK THIS LINK OUT! DEBUT SINGLE OF
THE STARS THE STARS THEY SAY - SO THEY MOO! STARRING FOUNDING MEMBERS EUGENE SEOW AND ROYCE LEE! IT ROCKS!!!!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=hs5Ee8D8tAUp.s. actually the spontaneous one was even funnier. but this is good!!!! =P they did it today in sch. haha.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
argh. screw the non-procrastination idea. i'm gonna slp....for a while. before i wake up and finish this darn thing. seriously.
wow. this is like 2nd nite in a row that i can actually fall aslp. haha. i m that tired. later! ciao.
11:56 PM
I still have the individual essay outline presentation thingie to do for gp. which i am presenting tomorrow. man, i am last minute. haha.
after which, i shall attempt to tidy my links? coz i bet 70% of the links are outdated, and 50% of the pple i linked are pple i no longer know. which is rather sad. so oh well..
and it feels weird to not feel emo tonight. my plan to start emo-ing less is really starting to work. haha. but i guess it can't really be my own effort lah. i kinda started ranting more recently to pple too....on this note, i wanna thank cq and eug, for listening to my rants...esp eug! haha. i think i rant a bit too much le. n sammie too, for letting me disrupt u and issac that nite. and thanks to shan, for letting me call u late last nite although u were super bz with hw. kk lah, this is starting to sound like an awards ceremony. haha.
and i seriously seriously hope that df goes well. I'LL DIE if it doesn't. *hint hint* that's a hint to god? lol.
n i think i m getting more confident with the sounds...but let's hope that's not just a false sense of security. oh, for those who don't know...i'm doing sound. yeah. me, bbq, doing sound. kk, u can stop now. i noe u r already getting ready to laugh at me when i screw up. fine. hmph.
shall go back to gp presentation! i really shld do less procrastination.
Labels: random
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
i know I'm stupid. haha...and slow. XP
anywayz, funnily, i m super tired today. yet i m high and for once, not emo-ing at night! woot! haha..
but it helps to have an idea what you are gonna do...really. haha. bet nobody knows what i am talking about. lol. but i feel as though tonight, i can actually sleep.
even though i'm not really fully at peace. haha.
and i am like getting the hang of my life. finally. i think.
nope, i don't make sense! haha...
but some serious thinking here. i realised i actually take productions very seriously. like drama fest, and as was the case with chinese opera. i guess it's because it gives me a false sense of family. i think if the production pple actually realise this, they'll feel weird out. haha. so eug, i noe u read my blog. don tell the bbdf pple!!!! =P
but today's rehearsal was DAMN GOOD! man, i could have cried. haha. i so drama. hee...BUT GOOD JOB!!!! i act as if bbdf pple actually read my blog. haha. but they don't. except for eug maybe. haha.
man, i crap. and i think somebody looked nice today! haha......i am soooo funny man.
oh, and pple running for council...good luck with your essays! =P it's due tomorrow..hee...
am i like insanely high now? yay! i know i've been siao. that i am siAo. ANYWAYZ. nopez, i have nothing to finish the sentence for ANYWAYZ. MUAHAHAHAHAHA.
and yep, i am stupid and slow. oh well...what to do?
Labels: random
Sunday, February 18, 2007
My dad bought me a bluetooth adapter for my com! So now I can FINALLY transfer photos from my phone to the com! YAY! minus the fact that the photos taken by my phone are of rather low quality. oh well, can't have the best of both worlds..haha.
AND. the whole world's going malaysia. except for me. I MISS PENANG LIKE HELL. urgh. i wanna go to malaysia too.......=( penang's sooooo beautiful..=P
Labels: random, rant
Saturday, February 17, 2007
maybe coz i haven been blogging for sometime...by law of diminishing returns, this blog entry is like giving me maximum satisfaction...or relief rather?
i know i crap. but i m not really in a gd mood. and that is weird to most people. coz for most, cny eve would mean ang-baos to come...and family reunions. but for me, family reunions are.....not dreaded. but weird. i love my family. but i get the feeling they are so much better off without me. that they don love me as much?
5 mins ago, a pole propped against the wall fell onto me. my dad came rushing in, worried about the pole and mentioned nothing along the lines of "are you ok?", despite my scream when the pole fell. and i am not expected to show that i am upset. slight signs that i am upset over the incident and my mum casts warning looks at me. warning me not to ruin the mood for the family. and just seconds ago, she came and lectured me over it.
i'm always the odd one out in the family. different ideology...not following family norms...everything. and now i am restricted. even my emotions are restricted.i don't even remember when did this start? When did i start feeling suffocated at home?
and i think my sister hates me.
emo-ed on the roof of blk b in rj today...kinda fell asleep for half an hr or so. the roof was soooo nice. i think bbdf play is like affecting me....haha. but maybe not lah. rooftops used to be my favorite places for sometime. when did i stop going to rooftops? i don remember..the last time i've been up to one to emo was like....sec 2? i forgot how nice it was to be on the roof...till today. pace of life really overwhelmed me then..
anyway, enough emo-ing. not healthy. i am making a cny resolution! to emo less. weishan says that maybe i am not letting my family in enough...that it's not my family outcasting me, but me outcasting myself. so i shall give it another try. germie said i give up too easily before..so i shall try persevere! can't let this issue keep affecting me this way..I HAVE A LIFE TO LEAD! i think i m siao.
ANYWAY, ANYWAY, ANYWAY...VALENTINES DAY!
it was good. seriously. so happy, i always like receiving things. gives me a warm feeling. haha. man, i so shameless. haha. i gave out hershey kisses, hair clips and wooden pegs! haha....and i got 2 real roses(1 fr yewei and 1 fr secret person that i still can't figure out who), 1 real flower (fr eugene) which i donno its name, and 1 fake rose (fr mel ho)!~ and to whoever that is who gave me the red rose....THANKS! =))) i really loved it. haha...it's still like thriving in a tall makeshift vase! haha....so are the other 2 flowers. this is like the first time i get flowers which survived for sooooo long! haha. i thought eugene's flower died already when i got home, but after plopping it into water overnight, it lived! haha....now soooooo pretty!~ =P i wanted to take a photo of all the prezzies, chocolates and flowers together one....but i couldn't resist the temptation of the choco, so i ended up eating them b4 i could take photo X( haha. so forget it lah...
BBDF like very stressed now. esp wangting....i hope we pull it off just fine. but very "xin teng" watching rehearsals...i feel like i'm either very disruptive or very useless like that. haha. wangting cut a LOT of lines in the script....haiz. the script was nice actually lorh...why only give us 20mins..? =(
Tidying up my room now. today's like the dateline for tidying up. cny eve mah. i think i might change the "feng shui" of my room. haha....maybe give the keyboard a permanent place or something. haha.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
i absolutely love reading ian's blog....SO FUNNY!!!! hahahahaha....
and i just realised i've blogged three times today. THIS IS MY FOURTH! WOOT!
the number of entries a day usually indicate how bored i am, or how fluctuating my mood is that day. haha.
seriously, this complete randomness. this post is of no importance whatsoever. I just feel idiotically happy. haha. from depression to complete ecstasy..haha.
and seriously, i hate qiongye. for scaring the hell out of me. he got 6pts! he smsed yesterday..phew....sms him also nvr reply. he's really out to give me heart attack. but yet he still keeps saying how he may not stay. i swear he's like the least confident guy i've ever seen..SERIOUSLY.
and it's soooooo frustrating!!!! hien still haven got her phone yet and i can't ask her about her o lvls result!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!! got to wait till tomorrow.........sigh.
seriously, i donno what i'll do if hien doesn't stay.
ANYWAY, I AM HIGH! WOOT!!!! but super tired...i think i cried too much today. haha....i am siao. I am saying that i cried so much while i'm being high....haha.
oh, i'm officially in love with LORRAINE! MUACKS!!!! soooooo nice! thx lorraine!!! i'm not stressed anymore~ =))) why is everyone sooooo nice......makes me feel ashamed of myself. haha...tsk tsk.
but i'm quite sad too (contradicting myself, as usual)...i really wanted to go fetch samuel with the class. and lorraine's blog entry made it sound soooo fun...=( I HOPE SAMUEL GOT ME A SOUVENIR THOUGH. haha...i am sooo shameless. XP
Labels: random
10:58 PM
i just quarreled with my mum. i really donno why, but we can't seem to communicate anymore. we get angry with each other over the most trivial things..all i did today was ask when is lunch gonna be ready. she accused me of adding stress to her load, and also of going out. but i already cancelled my appointments today to study! i really donno what I can do or say to her without us ending up in an arguement. It was bad. It's one of our shortest arguements..one of the most trivial..but it hurt me badly. It'll really be the best for me and the whole family...if i stay out, in a hostel or something. but it kinda go against the family philosophy....
if that isn't enough, seng smsed me today. asking for school badges to add onto his collection. AFTER WHAT HE DID TO ME. i donno anymore. i hate the guy to the core, yet there has always been this glimmer of hope inside me that we'll patch up. I need to resolve in giving up. he has absolutely no sentiments, and he thinks that he has to give up old friends for new ones...and considering how much i've been hurt by him, i should just forget about him. he's no longer the ho seng chuan i know a few years ago. i have to crush that hope of mine...somehow.
all that on top of the insecurity i've been feeling...it's like the world's crushing onto me. i actually had the thought of suicide for less than 30 secs just now! my gosh...that puts me under 100% bipolar doesn't it?? haha. i'm crazy...but a few seconds do not count right? haha...i think i'm creeping myself out again..i'm like seriously not myself..
Labels: thoughts
12:51 PM
falling in love is quite scary actually..
9:13 AM
| Your Scholastic Strength Is Innovating |
You are the master of new ideas, techniques, and ways of looking at things.
You are talented at structuring thoughts, decision making, clarifying, and making deadlines.
You should major in:
Marketing
Psychology
Desgin
Cognitive Science
Economics
Photography |
Labels: random
Saturday, February 10, 2007
i am kinda happy now. hmm...really donno what to blog about. but i've not blogged for a few days le..two days? all i can say is that i feel kinda happy now, but really insecure, and risk hurling my emotions against a wall at a dead end. that's how bad it is. but i still feel kinda happy..but i m really uncertain...a bit scared. this is like oxymoronic as usual i know. but whateva. you don have to understand...i'm just crapping.
anyway, shall blog about what i did today then. i shopped. bought a very very very very KAWAII keychain and a book with pictures of flying penguins for eugene's bdae. LOL. seriously, i suck at shopping for guy's prezzie...i just buy cute stuff. haha. and i bought vdae prezzie for a lot of pple!!!! =))) just chocolates lah...planning to add a little something to every packet of 2 or 3 herseys...that's all. but it's the thought that counts...and those little somethings are really really KAWAII too! =))) oh....yihui's prezzie got ducks on it again! somehow i just keep thinking of ducklings when i think of yihui...haha. XP
i feel like going back to art friend to shop. my member card is seriously under utilised.
i m not really coherrent today rite??
anyway...a shopping list i might splurge my money on this month(but still pending):
- a new belt
- a new schoolbag!!!
- hairband
- socks
- earphones
P.S. just received sms from qy. he says he might not stay in rj. =( donno abt hien oso...haiz. she still haven get her new phone yet. urgh. soooooo frustrating. guess i'll have to wait till monday then. wait till monday - to interrogate hien abt her results and to hypnotise qy into going for appeal.
Labels: random, school, weekend
Friday, February 09, 2007
think i've been emo-ing too much recently....so just blog nonsensical stuff...something I haven been doing in a while....QUIZZES ATTACK! haha. i remember a period of time when i use to do it for almost every alternate entry. lol.
here's the first one....
| You Are 60% Weird |
You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?
But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks! |
and so on...
| Your Birthdate: April 21 |
You're a restless rebel with an unpredictable nature.
Bright but unbridled, you tend to seek out wild experiences over new ideas.
People are frustrated by your great potential, but you love your unconventional life.
You're a heartbreaker. People get attached to you, and then you're gone.
Your strength: Your thirst for adventure
Your weakness: Not taking time for slow pleasures
Your power color: Hot pink
Your power symbol: Figure eight
Your power month: March |
hmm....i think pple break my heart more than i break their hearts thou...HAHA.
| The True You |
You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.
With respect to money, you spend whatever you have.
You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others.
The hidden side of your personality tends to be a little selfish. You only do what interests you.
You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.
When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you don't have any particular type in mind, but you are inclined to look for someone who will say yes when you ask him / her out. |
omg....relatively true leh! creepy..
| You Are 77% Borderline |
Many signs point toward you having a borderline personality.
It's probably a good idea to seek therapy. Or at least read a self help book. |
okay, great. i'm not that bad right?
| You Are 20% Boyish and 80% Girlish |
Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine.
You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you.
A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down.
But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible. |
that's all for now! haha..
10:20 PM
You Are 96% Bipolar
|
You have some serious ups and downs, maybe to the point of endangering your own life.
Consult a doctor to see if you may truly have bipolar disorder.
|
Labels: random
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
You know many of the psychology tests or chain mails where they ask you weird questions? They always ask about your deepest fears. And I think mine would be loneliness. I felt real lonely while going home from drama fest rehearsals today. So lonely that I cried. But I'm okay. I feel so idiotic now...haha. I must have looked like some lunatic on the streets..haha.
But the thing is, I feel lonely very easily. Much too easy. I mean, I still feel lonely sometimes even when I am amongst people, and that is incredible. But JC really made life so much happier for me. And that isn't a political statement or anything. It's real sincere. I mean, I can feel real sad and lonely, and suddenly Eugene sms me a message "Rabbit!". (Inside joke, haha.) and all of a sudden I felt so much better. Of coz, he didn't know how I was feeling...but having great pple around you really helps.
And to think that some of that may change nxt week, after the o-levels results are released this friday. NICE people like Hien and QY may not stay in school. How would I have coped with that? Of coz, they obviously will stay. I'm not being optimistic...it's just unlikely that they will have to go. BUT there's still a remote possibility. And truth is I felt bonded enough to miss them already. I'm a person person. I get attached to people real easy. and that's really bad for me...especially in JC life.
Coz I'm still paranoid. To a certain extent, I have let down my guard...but that's a huge risk for me to take I think. I realized that people can hurt me very easily, without even meaning to...only a few would understand what i mean.
The pace in JC's so fast.......RJCO briefing today and all of a sudden, I realized....or rather sub-consciously I already knew, but I just needed that nudge to get it into my conscious mind....that in just 5 mths or so, JC's gonna be ours. The J2s will go and mug and we will rule the school. Figuratively. Everything's damn fast. Rumors start and spread fast....Tests and stuff comes crashing down on us fast...I hated CSE damn fast. seriously. Every time I think I am getting used to it, it pushes me towards the edge again. I cannot get used to it. Not yet anyway.
And Valentines is coming....Noticed the booth offering roses and Hersey chocolates today. Makes me wish that I'll get a rose too! Not that I wanna secret admirer (though that would be nice too) but......it's just that it feels real nice to receive something. You get this sweet feeling that someone bothered to send you something to wish you happy valentines. But somehow in my 4 yrs of RG, I only received presents in sec4. does that mean i was pathetic in sec 1-3? okay, shit, i m getting emo again...
But thing is, I really love roses....*hint hint* X)
OH....JOKE OF THE DAY. Put a box of Tic Tac near your foot. What do you get? TIC TAC TOE! =P (couped from eugene)
Labels: random, school, thoughts
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
In "Everything But The Brain", the character's father described the mother as a woman whose life revolves around Tupperware. It was supposed to inject a bit of humor into the play i think..
and today, i scratched myself and bled. and guess what my mum told me? She told me to apply some medicated oil. Seriously. And up to now, she still refuses to believe that stomachache CANNOT be cured by CONSUMING medicated oil, and that medicated oil is POISONOUS. Despite my sister having diarrhea after consuming medicated oil the last time. Sigh. She thinks that medicated oil is Wang Neng de.
ANYWAY. lots and lots of things to do today. Econs essay outline. china studies tutorial cum notes. PLUS zingo html. That last one is the worst. haiz....i really do have the habit of taking on too much. whateva...
so ciao. i'll blog something substantial later on when I take a break. maybe.
Labels: random
Sunday, February 04, 2007
I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY CANNOT STAND CHAN LIYI. WHY DO I GET SUCH A HELL OF A SISTER WHEN THE REST OF THE WORLD GETS PERFECTLY NORMAL SWEET UNDERSTANDING SISTERS WHO LISTENS TO THEIR ELDER SISTERS AND NOT TRY ALL WAYS TO IRRITATE THEM, ETC, ETC????????
10:24 PM
Saturday was unexpected. I really shouldn't be blogging about this, but somehow I'm still blogging about this.
Was late for CO prac and ended up not doing anything there coz there wasn't enough zhong ruan. I left the prac early to go for BB Drama Fest rehearsals cum discussions. It ended round 2pm. We slacked around...fooling with the piano...Ye Wei was trying to play Shang Hu Hai....so Eugene acting pro "came to the rescue"...haha. Then we tried playing the batch song and we ended up singing a very distorted version of the batch song coz eugene keeps getting stuck at a certain part of the song. haha. We went to eat lunch.....and proceeded to wisma sky garden to chill. And this is where Eugene and I officially conclude that Sherry and Ye Wei are siao. Seriously. They have no sense of danger. REally daredevils. HAHA. The odac teacher should have allowed ye wei to join odac man...stupid odac teacher. haha....oh, but i forgot to tell ye wei he still got 2nd chance. got 2nd intake. oh well...will tell him later.
Then we decided to crash the Humans party! aka the party for humans. KIDDING. humanities party lah....supposedly the humanities class seniors organised it. but we were wearing like school tees and shorts etc, so we went over to Ye Wei's hse to borrow clothes. haha. we played monopoly! so long never play the game le.....think the last time i played the game was in sec 3? during the 6Q reunion at the chalet. that was fun....so, anyway, ye wei wanted to play mindtrap...but we didn't. so we just played monopoly while he tried to quiz us with the mindtrap questions. seriously, i was three-quarters dead by then so i didn't really listen to half the questions...but some of the questions were damn cool. and knowing me, u'd guessed that i forgot all the questions. other than the "hole in one" question. so yup, interested go buy the game yourself bah!~ provided that it's still being sold. haha.
After monopoly we chose clothes shower and stuff. His clothes damn big!!!!! why are all the guys so big sized? the pants won't even stay on my hips for half a second! i had to whole the pants. sigh.....luckily man invented the belt. basically everyone improvised. eugene wore this yellow hawaiian shirt with a grey vest inside. plus a red bandanna. and sherry found this rather nice simple plan shirt which is soooooo long that it looks like a mini off-shoulder skirt-dress. and she wore it as that! with fbt underneath of coz....haha. then she used a purple tie as sash. looked really good! i think somebody at the party said that this is scary...coz we are wearing guys clothes yet we turned out okay. haha.....
After the party, we didn't feel like going home. And since the party was real near the east coast beach..we went there to chill! so yup....chill chill chill....haha. so basically i stayed there till sunrise. yup. i realised i really donno how to blog about this..so....i'm not blogging! yay! haha. but sooooo sad, my first sunrise, and the sky was cloudy. sigh. nvm.....nxt time bah. maybe June hols I'll go there again!! =P and I'll bring a tent along with me! (saw pple putting tents up on the jetty)
(insert: don bother reading the below. it's crap and it doesn't even make sense. plus it's not coherent at all. yup. but i don delete stuff after i type them. so yarh..)
But yesterday got me thinking again. I realised that i've actually started to censor posts on my feelings and sensitive thoughts ever since i got into jc. is that considered being fake too? plus, it's true that i changed totally from primary school...and even from secondary school. and i don't really trust pple completely anymore. isn't that supposed to be bad...? and i don even know my own feelings anymore. i donno when are the times when i am really sad and not becoz i think i shld feel sad. and when are the times i am really happy, and not just trying to act happy so that pple won dislike me for my depression. i don't even know if i really like a person (friend or crush) anymore. what if i am some lonely desperate person, who lies to herself that she really liked these pple, just so that she could have more friends? this is really weird. i really shouldn't think too much....in case i start getting depressed again. it's like taken me so much effort to get back cheery again..i don wanna go back. oh well..okay. fine. shit. i shall shut up.
but sammie's like plague with so many problems recently. i feel guilty for being so "problematic". i mean, compared to her, i'm so much more carefree! i can't tell her everything coz it'll juz add on to her burden? all my close friends no longer have time to read my blog anymore.....jc life really threatens to drive pple apart..
aiya...ciao. or this entry would be neverending.
Labels: thoughts, weekend
