Sunday, December 28, 2008
I haven't blogged seriously on this blog for awhile now. In fact I haven't blogged seriously in a long time now, not on the other blog, not privately.
Tonight's a strange night..this year has been a strange year. I can't say that I'm happier than last year, but definitely not sadder than last year either. It's like my emotional experience has been extrapolated both ways, with my happy moments becoming happier and my sad moments sadder. But I'm making preparations..guarding my heart closely. So that when the time comes, it won't bleed to death. It'll still be able to heal, if not fully.
I have met good people. And got to know these good people better. People like Stacy and Qiongye. I'm typing a damn bloody truthful post now, so I'm not politically correct. I'm very conscious I'm leaving out Eugene and Haoyang. But truth be told, I feel closer to Stacy and Qiongye? As much as Qiongye doesn't regard me as that close a friend...Yes, you don't, I know one okay. But I'm grateful. To Stacy for being a great friend listening to me, for Qiongye whose presence have reminded me time and time again to be a bit more mature than I am. To both for companionship in class and outside of class.
To Qiongye, your lesson to me started right from the beginning of J1 actually. Remember the first time we went to J8's food court to eat (the time when Ian was eating with his OGmates)? You tried hinting to make sure I don't like you or something like that. The paranoia is really funny, come to think of it, but it did teach me the reality of coming back into a co-ed school, especially at this age when hormones are rising...care must be taken and sometimes paranoia can be good. While I got conscious of that fact after the meal, stupid me didn't take the advice and ended up in all sorts of trouble in the course of the two years. But really, this is just one of the examples of things you taught me. thanks a lot.
Important friends I met in the two years...strictly speaking last year, but I really only really start to get to know them this year. Like Aaron (Tan) and Roger..Even Abtzy. To Aaron Tan I owe a lot once more. True that I haven't been able to get to know him well enough, but he is another person who taught me a lot. He has helped me recognise flaws to my own character, so that I can correct my own behaviour and become a better person. He must be one of the people I can thank for helping me dislike myself less.
Thanks. Aaron, Roger, Mervyn and Mark. Aaron and Mervyn especially, for accepting me into the group. Must be weird to accept a girl into the group. And Roger, for constantly assuring me that it's okay to be a girl in the group. Mark too. I don't know how my JC life would be like without you guys. Really boring?
Thanks Mark...for always being there. For listening to me rant. For talking to me on Fireworks night, or I would have missed out the chance of having such a wonderful friendship with you guys. Actually, I think if you didn't talk to me, I won't dare to hang out with you guys again. Oh, and for inviting me to your party in J1. That kinda helped sparked my hanging out with the group. And introduced me to Stepmania.
Random, but thanks Roger, for the piano. Anime piano has since formed such a great part of my life. All these seemingly trivial things really mean a lot.
To Waihan for the period of time when you provided so much counselling. For your generosity. For teaching me sensibility. Oh, for introducing me to alcohol (wth.) LOL.
Friends I've had and kept in the two years. Shuyi..Suen. Thanks a lot for being there. Especially shuyi, for listening to me, for keeping me sane. Balancing my over-optimism. Helping me stay rational. Thanks for being such a great buddy. And to Suen, I love you.
To new great people I've me this year...Vanessa. There's only one name here, because while all other juniors have been great too..you're the only one who made me feel like I'm not alone. And while being someone for me to identify with, you teach me things on stuff like family, open my eyes to new perspectives. It's only a short one year...but it's enough to make an impact in my life.
JC life, I've made many mistakes. Some more foolish than others. I've been very stubborn. Without the guidance of friends in several cases, I wouldn't be the girl I am now. I may still be depressed day in day out. I'll be numb to the happiness I can be feeling and only focused on the pain. I'm different now though. I feel happiness stronger than ever.
I don't want to be foolish again. I had promised myself not to give my heart away again. I really wanted to stick to that. But seriously it's irrational. I can testify to that now. It's really really stupid. I don't want to get hurt, I'm trying not to. I'm taking it slowly, trying to avoid all the minefields I got into the previous times, trying to learn from my lessons. But it's bad, because I just keep thinking I shall get hurt again anyway. I'm just prone to getting hurt.
It's irrational too. The time is only so short. 3 or 4 months maximum? What is wrong with me. It can't be serious. I keep telling myself that. It may even be infatuation. If it's infatuation, then it's really dumb. And to start liking someone 5 minutes into interacting with the person is plain dumb. Only Meiyi is capable of doing that.
But all in all, I'm getting prepared to be hurt. It's really obvious I don't stand a chance. The last girl must have been a really really nice girl. I just hope this fall won't be as steep, given all the emotional and mental precautions I've taken myself. That my friends would be here to help me to tide over the bad times. I try to be as good a friend as I can be, but I'll never be good enough to warrant all the support I have been given.
will i fall deeper in?
and if i do,
when the time comes,
will i be alright?
i can't compete with her
and i don't want to anywayLabels: friends, J, night, thoughts
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Got this idea from Waihan's blog haha..
The rules are that for 8 days you have to post something that made you happy that day.
So what made me happy today..hmm...hmm...
I know! I saw Stacy for the first time in a long time! haha. does that count? lol.
Labels: random
Friday, December 26, 2008
okay. It's boxing day. lol. and i realised i donno what boxing day is for so I went to wiki it. and this is what i found.
"It is based on the tradition of giving gifts to the less fortunate members of society."
so i started giving presents online to everyone haha! and below is a convo with daniel! (you know, this is really not real substance to be blogged about, but i'm so terribly bored and not in the mood for anything. i can actually blog about the sleepover at sammie's...but i realise...most of the really funny quotes are from me. >.< so...if i blog about the sleepover, i'll just be ruining my own reputation. LOL. let's just say sammie and i wanna get married and have kids. XD)
Dtay : The North Star says (12:19 AM): merry christmas
ponyo ponyo ponyo~ says (12:22 AM): haha it's boxing day now!
happy boxing day!
lol
Dtay : The North Star says (12:23 AM): ok
can i box u?
ponyo ponyo ponyo~ says (12:23 AM): ...
"It is based on the tradition of giving gifts to the less fortunate members of society. "
haha!
ponyo ponyo ponyo~ says (12:24 AM): (G)
:P
Dtay : The North Star says (12:24 AM): why i less fortunate of society u ass
ponyo ponyo ponyo~ says (12:26 AM): joking lah dot
you so serious for what
i gave a present emoticon to all my friends i'm talking to right now
Dtay : The North Star says (12:26 AM): O.o
they friends only leh
i am ur best friend forever!
ponyo ponyo ponyo~ says (12:27 AM): .......okay
(G)(G)(G)
nah. now best friend status le
LOL
Dtay : The North Star says (12:27 AM): ok i got three
fair enough
huh why i downgraded
ponyo ponyo ponyo~ says (12:28 AM): no best friend so you get more gifts lorh
Dtay : The North Star says (12:28 AM): O.o
thats cool
(:
ponyo ponyo ponyo~ says (12:28 AM): LOL
ok, fine. i am boliao and i have boliao friends. XD
Labels: friends, night
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Today, Meiyi did the bravest thing in her life thus far, but she feels so much more relieved that she's glad she did it, no matter the consequences. HAHA!
AND MERRY XMAS EVERYONE!!!
went lanning today with jj abtzy and roger! played the most retarded warcraft i've ever played lol. but seriously...sigh, i suck at com games. =( but i really think i would have done better usually de. donno what the hell happened. oh well. it was fun. haha!
(roger actually looks ok with botak hair! LOL. and he's out of training wth.)
whee~ going sammie's house soon. Shall meet ning and shan at starbucks first before going to sammie's house. it's so rare for primary school mates to keep in touch for so many years, and even rarer to have a xmas sleepover. haha! ning says we should have a girls overseas trip nxt year! no islands! but somewhere cheap preferably? I'm like paying my mum back for the hk trip (volunteerily). >.<
thanks a lot to certain people in my life. this is sudden, but i really mean it. you guys help a lot in these two years, including recently. these people are chun, vanessa, sammie, ning, jerome, raphael, cq, stacy, shuyi, abtzy. thanks a lot guys. thanks all my other friends too...for being there for me, even if i didn't go to you in times of trouble...but i know you guys would have helped if you knew, so really..thx a lot. =)
Labels: friends, holidays
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
I always call memes quizzes, but so many of my blog titles have the word quiz in them, I decided I shall just return them their actual name. Here's another one, simply coz post-A levels is so boring. Can't wait to start work in RG next monday! haha. Got a HR department temp position there btw. XD
1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
- I went overseas (Hong Kong) with friends alone! XD (and I did A levels >.<)
2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Eh...yea I did, more or less. Though the degree of success varies.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
- Nope!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
- My great great grandma died.
5. What countries did you visit?
- In 2008, I only went Hong Kong and Malaysia! boo...so few countries when compared to Abtzy. LOL.
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
- More liberity to do what I want instead of what I need to do. Example, be in classes I like. Oh, a C905 handphone wouldn't hurt either haha.
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory?
- 20th April.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
- Completing A levels!~ XD
9. What was your biggest failure?
- If I get all Us for A levels, then that's my biggest failure. XS
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
- Here and there?
11. What was the best thing you bought?
- Eh...I don't know..The I love Hong Kong Tshirt?
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
- Haoyi got rather good grades for all her subjects.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
- I don't want to say names here.
14. Where did most of your money go?
- I don't know...
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
- Hong Kong trip...My RG temp job.
16. What song/album will always remind you of 2008?
- I think I don't listen to music enough these days..>.<
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? happier
thinner or fatter? donno..
richer or poorer? poorer.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
- Study? Erm, hang out with my sisters.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
- I don't know...
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
- RAWR. I'm waiting for something which won't happen. But at night, sammie, ning, daniel, ben...the 6Q people are having sleepover! WHEE~ It's just either my place or sammie's bah...
21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
- Different people at different stages of the year. But overall...Shuyi, Sammie, KH..Jerome maybe?
22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
- yea...sigh.
23. How many one night stands in this last year?
- NONE? DOT. DOWNRIGHT DISGUSTING.
24. What was your favourite TV program?
- Teen Titens! LOL.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
- Not really..
26. What was the best book(s) you read?
- The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold, The Day After Forever by Erin Skiffington
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
- I'll just sound shallow...people seem to think my favorite pieces are boring. =( Fine, I don't know music then. =(
28. What did you want and get?
- I got an external HDD from dad..=)))
29. What did you want and not get?
- Sony Ericsson C905
30. What were your favourite films of this year?
- Wall E!!! And Dark Knight.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
- 18....I spent my dad in school basically. It was a sad day, since something terrible happened the day before, but I managed to spend it anyway. Really grateful to Stacy, Eugene, HY and Ah Ye...oh, and Mr Neo..for celebrating it with me a day later. =)
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
- A guidebook to life. What decisions were well made, and what were wrong.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
- I think...my fashion sense just keeps changing. Now that there's no uniform anymore, I'm kinda lost. =S
34. What kept you sane?
- friends and family.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
- Tomohisa Yamashita? lol. I don't really fancy celebrities or public figures lah haha.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
- US Presidential Elections 2008!
37. Who did you miss?
- Nobody in particular...But I shall be missing lots of people in the coming year. Sigh.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
- Vanessa, Kwan, Yisheng, Benjamin, (and if you count people that I only started talking to this year..) Yezi, Jinjun
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
- Sometimes, it's better to let go than to hold on.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?
- Damn it lah, I can't think of any. I really really need to listen more LOL.
Labels: quiz
7:28 PM
- Sony Ericsson C905 Mobile Phone
- Sony Vaio SR26 Pink Laptop
- Sony PSP / Nintendo DS
I probably can't get the laptop till like June or July or even later. Maybe I'll wait for Comex in August. Phone there's a chance Dad will get for me. PSP or DS I can leave without. But for the short term...I NEED urgently...
- Pg Down Keycap for my Acer Laptop
RAWWR. I fell asleep using my laptop last night and when I woke up, Dinger was sleeping on my keyboard. And when I tried removing her from my keyboard, one of her claws got latched onto the pg down key, which in turn got dislodged, and flung to *somewhere*. I swept the entire room up, and I still can't find it. ARGH. Maybe I'll go Sim Lim soon to see if any shops sell individual keycap versus the entire keyboard. Don't want so mahfan have to dissemble the entire laptop. If really cannot find I'll just leave without the pg down key bah. Still can press anyway. >.<
sigh, i really want a date for xmas. and not just any date too. =(Labels: computer, gadgets, phone
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Oh darn, the latest version of messenger beta doesn't work with the messenger plus live. So I shall be missing a lot of chat logs in the coming weeks. Argh. Oh well.
And I just noticed they are building cycling tracks in Woodlands! Around my neighbourhood! Cool right??? But then, I have no bike anymore. RAWR. I seriously hate the bike thieves. Ok, nvm. I shall get a bike next year then! Whee~
And darn, the starbucks in woodlands is not hiring. They say Sembawang shall have a branch next month though, that I can try there. Hmmm..
Labels: computer, life
Friday, December 19, 2008
Okay. I find that I am like tired and bored. And calvin uses my com so often I can't use it. And I'm lazy to blog. So the gist is, I took space mountain today. *BIG NEWS* lol. so yea. fine. i took a rollercoaster.
Period. =D
ok, sorry lah, I really too tired and too sian to blog. Back in singapore maybe.
P.S. Oh oh! I realise HK is a damn nice place to hike. Anyone wanna go hiking in 2 years time? LOL.
Labels: holidays, hongkong
Monday, December 15, 2008
Okay, quick publicity before I start on my Hongkong trip proper. Eugene, Royce and Jon started a Jazz band which is now ready for hire for events. I think having them for wedding would be damn nice LOL. No bias. Seriously. Anyway, here's their site for a sample.
http://www.myspace.com/locrianjazzObviously, Meiyi is now in Hong Kong. The first night was chaotic though. The Golden Island Guesthouse had misleading photos on their site, and the place turned out absolutely horrid. Luckily, because I haven't been picking up their calls, they rented our room out to others, and we had to look for other places to stay last minute. Unfortunately, we couldn't find anything and ended up sleeping in the airport. Which wasn't too bad really.
I managed to find where we're staying now though. Rei Lai Hotel..Manageable room rates, although slightly more expensive than what we budgeted for. The toilet is ridiculous, potential flooding with the shower almost above the toilet bowl. With no lock. CAN YOU IMAGINE A TOILET WITH NO LOCK? =S So yea. Sigh. Shall survive. LOL.
So the first night was wasted on trying to look for a place to stay. The second day was partially wasted, since everyone became so tired, we rested quite a bit. Went to Hong Kong Island to see stuff awhile, went back to rest 2 hours, before setting out to Shenzhen. My aunt lives damn far out, but I'm so glad we went. LOL. Really really missed her. Food was damn good. Chai Cha shall always be the best! <333 lol. Admittedly, her Chai Cha was slightly different, but still DAMN GOOD. whee!~ She gave us a lot of food to bring back lah...lol.
Photos...I have no time to upload now...nor did I take a lot so I have to kope from the others. Tonight maybe bah! LOL. (cz you just wait lorh...lol.)
Now shall go wash up, before going to the immigrations to renew my HK IC le! =D
P.S. THERE IS NO MILO IN HONGKONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Labels: holidays, hongkong
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Personal Philosophy 1: I believe that to have fun, one must put in effort. When you gain some, you bound to have lost some. If you expect fun to come your way without any effort from you at all, then you have missed out a lot. Because the process is part of the enjoyment too.
I got pissed with Raph...But admittedly, I overreacted quite a bit bah. The lack of sleep kind of contributed to my short temper. But overall, Jap Club chalet was damn fun! LOL. The first day was pretty slack. We pretty much just stayed in the chalet room. Carolyn alternately koped my com and ben's com to read fan fic (and continued reading for the rest of the 3 days, unless she's sleeping, or she got dragged out by us for a few hours. She reads even when she's playing games with us.) Vanessa used my com to catch up with forum mates. Roger and gang just keep playing games on the com, yijun and vanessa and sihui plays PS2. While me and the rest just plays games like Hex Hex, Flux and Munchkins. LOL. Mahjong session later in the night too...but it wasn't as fun as usual, coz there was no tai, and the game was rather....I don't know how to describe it. Plus I kept feeding Raphael and later Yuhan also LOL.
I'll skip describing the rest of the chalet, including the part when Kwan knocked his head and went ouch, and the entire chalet laughed, thus proving that no one was able to fall asleep, and how we hex Joy until she went negative infinity. LOL. But highlight of the entire chalet, for me at least, is then biking from Pasir Ris to Changi beach. Damn shiok. LOL. The entire trail is like just slope after slope after slope. Of coz, you think about it, the down slopes become up slopes on the return trip. But it is still damn fun! LOL. The number of up sloper are roughly the same as the downslopes, so both trips are quite manageable lol. Changi beach at daybreak is damn pretty...But sigh no sunrise. Must go East Coast ahhhh! LOL.
Thanks a lot to Chenzhen for guiding the way and plus he was damn tired. Then I didn't know Carolyn isn't used to biking long distance either. >.< So yup, really thanks a lot. Somehow I feel like I'm the one who gained the most satisfaction from the trip...So I feel kinda guilty? But really, thanks a lot for going with me! =)
I shall do that trail again soon! Yes! LOL.
HK ON SATURDAY! BOLTZ TMR! life is damnnnnnn good. LOL. XD
Labels: cca, holidays, life
Monday, December 08, 2008
Prom is over...Admittedly, prom itself was BORING. The food was bearable, but seriously not worth the money. And...Compared to other JCs...our prom seriously suck. No interactivity at all. =( My table would have had two winners from the lucky draw though...Just calvin stupidly didn't go get his prize. Thought they weren't calling his number. LOL. CY got a camera though! HAHA. and guess who got the top prizne, a laptop...ZEI. WTH????
By right normally should post photos up here de...But..Lazy lah. So just go facebook to view. LOL. Ask me for links if you don't have facebook! haha.
More fun is post prom really. Stayed at Abtzy's house and played wii through the night, played cards, watch retarded videos and basically slacked. HAHA. Oh! the handbells in wii music is damn retarded lah. Just like hit the note when the note comes to the place, a bit like ddr or drum mania, just horizontal. but thing is, you "play" it properly sometimes the wii won't detect one!!! WTH. sigh. Cycled at east coast the next day...But seriously, it's damn sad we didn't go to the jetty to watch sunrise. Sigh. Nevermind! later jap club chalet!!! haha. can watch! whee~ sunrises at the jetty are damn pretty lah.
Friday went for steamboat with the 6Qians. Played zhongjimima, then have stupid punishments like taking weird plastic looking noodles then getting the losers to eat them. LOL. poor sammie had to eat chilli >.< Lucky me didn't get anything haha!
A bit sad coz we were a bit tense with each other that day, me and sammie. Sorry sammie kay...love you still. but i suppose i'll try to settle my debts first.
Anyway, the gathering is a small one, since so many people couldn't come. But I'm surprised that people actually bothered to ask about it. I mean, true they couldn't come..but..they wanted to. And we are like 18 already. Wonders if we can still have gatherings next year. How long will such gatherings last lah. haha!
Damn shit, tired already. I think I'll blog about today's events tomorrow. Maybe I'll blog in chalet when I feel bored! haha. if i bring my com. Live blog updates! LOL. too bad don't have camera sigh. haha.
HK HK HK!~ can't believe i'm flying just coming sat. my gosh, so fast. LOL.
Labels: life
Monday, December 01, 2008
Yay! Now that life seems to slow down a bit, I'm actually starting to have fun. Prom is 2-3 days away, and much of my stuff is pretty settled. A bit scary though, since I've never really done something like this before. Graduation night in Sec 4 was different, since we'll see everyone again in JC anyway. But this time round I find myself putting effort. My gosh...what if I turn out clashy. Like seriously, my fashion sense has always been regarded as on the weird side afterall. LOL.
But anyway, things are starting to be fun! I love December! First it's graduation night, then there's SATs, which is not so fun, but heck. Then JAP CLUB CHALET!! Whee~ and finally...HONGKONG TRIP. ok, i used caps for jap club chalet, but let's like bold hongkong trip then.
HONGKONG TRIP!!!!! there. lol. But yea, December shall be fun =)))
Today was fun too. Went to Paul's house coz I had to "chaperon" shuyi. But ended up staying till late haha! Free Mouse shall own man and win the first! LOL. IMBA storyline, with IMBA music. XD
Free MOUSEE!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE~~~~~~
Okay, but fun stuff aside...I should learn to rest more. I can actually feel my body under strain le. Sigh. I'm never good with balance. Plus I really should put more time into studying for SATs. And also, Neo is going to be back between 3rd and 9th Dec to do referrals and testimonials. So I really should finish my uni apps by then. >.< Sigh.
But Post-As are good. Even if Paul makes sense. Post-As feel a bit empty at times. But...Life is still good. for other reasons too, if you know what I mean. ^^
Reminder to self: Must try to ask Dad for C905 before prom. Or else where am I going to get the camera man. >.<
Labels: life, weekend
