Sunday, August 19, 2007
Tonight's weird. Not just because I should be studying, but am not. (I'm sick of studying today le.) But it's just weird...Like all of a sudden, life is actually slowing down (although that is obviously an illusion).
I really like the lyrics of Passenger Seat (by Death Cab for Cutie).
I roll the window down
and then begin to breathe in
the darkest country road
and the strong scent of evergreen
from the passenger seat as you are driving me home.
then looking upwards
I strain my eyes and try
to tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites
from the passenger seat as you are driving me home.
"do they collide?"
I ask and you smile.
with my feet on the dash
the world doesn't matter.
when you feel embarrassed then I'll be your pride
when you need directions then I'll be the guide
for all time.
for all time.It's short, simple and sweet...yet it feels like there's so much more to it.
I wouldn't have known this song if I hadn't taken part in Dramafest. I don't know how many times I've said this, but I'm saying it over and over again. I'm really really grateful that I had taken part. I doubt the others have taken away as much from the event as I had, but it really changed my life. I shall not forget everything that I have experienced, the sweet and the bitter, because they have become part of me. Partially, they have shaped the events that followed somewhat, although all unrelated. Because, essentially, it had changed me, in a very unobvious but significant manner.
I shall help out in Dramafest next year, even if they try to push me away. haha.
And I've decided, I shall borrow additional econs material from the library. The stuff on SparksNotes aren't really useful.
And I shall go and read BBO's tutorial again later. Haven't been reading for a few days.
Even as the days become more and more complicated, even as my life no longer seem so simple, even as decisions get increasingly difficult to make, to judge, the lines between the good and the bad, what should or should not be done...whether I'm a good girl or a bad person even...even as those get muddled up, I shall learn how to cope. Being exceptionally and ridiculously happy is not an option, but rather when I'm happy it shall be sincere. But I shall not get reduced to the sad, depressed pathetic state ever again. Or at least I will try to the best of my abilities.
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Woonie hacked my account this morning (gasp) and read my sec 1 sec 2 blog entries. Those really early ones, which I hadn't bothered to read, even when I go back to read my own entries. So I took a couple of moments to go back and read them..And it really surprised me how much I have changed. Come to think of it, especially in the 6 mths this year. [edit: he fooled me. he didn't hack in after all.]
What has passed has passed. It shall remain as part of me, and I shall convert it into my strength and not let it drag me down. What will happen will happen, and I shall not worry about it yet. Take things one step at a time. Another major flaw on top of stubbornness - impatience.
I'm a bad friend really. And sometimes I have the tendency to focus on my own problems. I'm sorry. Which is why I'm so grateful to you guys. Thanks. For staying my friends.
[EDIT:11.53PM] oh dear, my mum just told me not to be out at night for the lunar 7th month. die. meaning...a lot of my stuff have to be scraped. and 4th sept equivox! but then, equivox is in the late lunar 7th mth...perhaps i can still convince her..hmm..
Labels: thoughts
