iBleach- Soul Generation of Music

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Things always come crashing down together.

I'll only be working in RG till 13th. Apparently they only need me for ad hoc after 13th. So I need to look for another job. Mum thinks that it's cause I was lousy at work or something. It may be so, it may not. But anyway, she was so serious about it she came in to lecture me about it, and to inform me that I will never make it in life.

She really believes in that I think. That I'll never survive on my own. While it's true that my wide interests prevented me from excelling in anything at all, it's really hurting to hear your parents telling you they think you'll perish. She thinks I still persist in my primary school ways of thinking, when I have the most impractical and idealistic plans. True, I'm still rather idealistic, but no where near to the extent to how she thinks of me. Imagine my reaction when she accused me of that, and imagine her face when I told her what my back up plans were, when I don't get into architecture. Yea, note that I used the word when, not if.

My mum doesn't believe in me either anyway.
My sister doesn't too.
Subconsciously, my friends don't too. Don't protest, but you know I won't excel in stuff. And don't try saying politically correct things either. No need to comfort me or anything. I know. I suck at studies afterall. And I have no talent.

If I had no idea what to do for my future earlier on tonight, complaining to my friends, ranting to raphael sammie and roger. Then I'm even worse now.

What's the point when the entire world, including myself, doesn't believe in me anymore.
Everything's my fault, my blame. Every time. Without fail. Anyway.

Labels: life

12:20 AM

THE PRINCESS

name; melissa chan meiyi
age; 18
bdae; 210490
location; singapore

hates; hypocrites, betrayers and traitors
loves;

dr...(+)

more;

ad...(+)

~~adp~~ ~~rgs~~ ~~rjc~~

~~1/1~~ 2F 3M 4M 5P 6Q ~~106~~ ~~206~~ ~~310~~ ~~410~~ ~~08S05B~~

~~purple house~~ buckle ~~buckle-buckley~~

adp: ~~it club~~ ~~library~~ ~~eng drama~~ ~~chinese dance~~ ~~swimming~~

rg: ~~handbells~~ ~~library~~ rjc: ~~film society~~ ~~chinese orchestra~~ japanese cultural club (once in jcc always in jcc!)

-------------

I'm a girl, who's normal most of the time, but weird otherwise. My nickname in primary school was blurqueen, which was upgraded to BBQ Bizzarely Blurqueen in Secondary 2 during Primary 6 class reunion. I have a huge variety of interests, so I end up being very poor in time management.

random;
Friends, my brother and sisters, and my computer.
I take birthdays very seriously.
I love roses.
I love the late night.
I love manga and anime.
I love my cats, (schro)dinger and newton.
I love concerts.

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THE KINGDOM

My DeviantART
My Livejournal (more private entries than public though, and much abandoned as of now.)