Wednesday, July 04, 2007
I officially take back my words last term. If I thought that there were hectic periods last term, then this term must be insane. I just had a sudden realization of the extent of hectic-ness this week's schedule is.
Yesterday I had film society meeting. That, plus a bit of miscellaneous stuff like getting cameras from my locker for sisco, etc, ended around 6.45pm? And then I waited for CY till about 7.15pm? And reached home 8+pm. Some stuff happened last night, and I had absolutely no mood to do anything at all. So last night was wasted.
Today, I studied in school, read a bit, slept in the library for a while. Then I met up with sisco and evelyn and we proceeded to novena church to conduct our interview on sister mary. After the interview, I went to AMK Hub to run an errand for my sis...By the time I got back home, it's 9.30++pm. And I'm dead tired, nodding off and still attempting to digest my economics notes, check my email, etc, etc.
Not to mention I feel extremely guilty for forgetting to bring the zhongruan back to co store for the stocktaking.
Run-through this week's schedule/work plan...i've got...
Tomorrow ( Thursday) : IHC soccer training. 3pm-4.30pm. Not that I'll be able to do much. XS
Finalize AIDS video interview speech/questions. And email it.
Friday:IHC soccer.
Saturday:Flyers Job (Entire day)
Catholic High Music Awards - 7.30pm till late
Sunday:AIDS video interview - 1pm to 3pm
And you squeeze in the studying here and there, the obviously insufficient sleeping hours and viola! You got a super tired, frustrated and pissed off meiyi. It doesn't help that she has decided that she shall now really really put in double efforts in her studies, spurred by her extremely poor grades. Don't even come try to comfort her, coz when she meant poor grades, she meant really really really ATROCIOUS grades. Like 2 S grades. Plus a E grade for GP which is like the lowest in class. She's quite okay with her GP grade though, considering she has always been failing GP really really badly. She hopes that the two remaining subjects won't be as bad, especially since one of them is her favourite subject. She's quite pissed though that she was supposed to appeal for H3 but her CT didn't inform her. She'll clarify that bit with her CT tomorrow.
And it really really doesn't help that she's 17, has more problems than it seems physically on the surface, as her personality makes her think too much and emo more than it's good for her.
It doesn't help, that whenever she wants closer and better friends, it just doesn't work. It doesn't help that in RJ, there's only 3 people she can connect to, as in really connect to. It doesn't help that all of her best friends are outside RJ, and JC life is so terribly insane and she just doesn't see them enough to get all the support she needs.
It doesn't help that the people she cares about are not taking good care of themselves and she worries like mad. It doesn't help that she feels useless cause she can't help her friends. It doesn't help that she's being really affected because of how shitty life has been for these people she cares about. It doesn't help that she's becoming moody half the time these couple of days because of this. It doesn't help that despite all these, she needs to force or convince herself to be cheerful most of the time, partially so that work that needs to be done can be done. especially so that work will be done.
It REALLY doesn't help that she's so terribly tired today, having slept only 3+hours last night, but she knows she can't sleep yet or she'll run out of time tomorrow. That she really really wanna get good grades. CTs have woken her up. She's wide wide awake, albeit with sleepy eyes.
It helps that she has just decided that she may not blog this much everyday. without compromising her mental health, that is ranting on this blog has done pretty much in keeping her sanity.
Labels: rant, school
