iBleach- Soul Generation of Music

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Shan

Since when have I kept a hiatus?

But yea, Shan always calls/contacts me at the most convenient times. She has good intuition. It's almost as if there's an alarm connected from my mood to her house. Yet Seng blamed me for not moving onto Secondary School and JC friends. Tell me how I should do that when Primary school friends are so much more heart to heart than the ones in JC?

That is, if i have anyone left in JC.
I knew my friendship life is screwed at the end of Sec 2 already. When the bunch of people who held weight in my heart decided to denounce me as a friend and when Seng kinda broke off relations with me. I have only Sammie and Shan left now. About the only two people who calls me a friend. The only two "two-way" relationships I have.

when you regard someone as a friend, it does not automatically equate that you are a friend to that someone. i took so long to learn that.

how on earth do people like ian enjoy friendships so much in school? i wanna learn.
oh yea, i'm kinda a stalker. coz i observe. i know more than people think i know. i observe more than people think i observe. and stacy was so shocked when i scored so high on her quiz. hmm.

I have decided I might wanna keep a private blog. Where I can actually blog names out. Haha. Doesn't mean I'll keep much away from this blog still though. There's sentimental value in this blog. But it does mean that now i have a choice of which blog to blog in, when i need to vent. so yea, this blog might still receive most but not all of my emotional inputs. haha.

Waiting for Shan to come over to woodlands. Then I shall join her around causeway point on the pretense of going for a walk.

But yes, I still wanna change by the end of the two years of JC. Will it work, now that I'm on my own? Shan and sammie are so far away...if only they're in RJ.
I think I owe Shan a lot. haha. Shan, are you reading this? X) thanks..
maybe i can get back to being friends after i've succeeded in changing. that way i won disrupt anyone's lives. i estimate that time to be sometime nxt yr..or if i'm lucky, the end of this yr. is that too late? but nvm that, that's only my own thinking. maybe i'll just never get back. I know now why people say that JC life is what you'll remember when you've grown up. It's hard to not remember.

And I've gotten some idea on what kinda script I wanna write for Singapore Schools Video Awards. It's linked to my emo-ness I think. haha. I vaguely rmb wangting saying something like inspiration comes with emo-ness sometimes. haha. very true.

Shan says she's freaked out by my new way of emo-ing. says that she rather i mope around then acting okay. that i sound frightening when i laugh today. really? i didn't know that i sounded different. i guess i'm tired of the weeping-crying kinda emo-ing. haha. but i really emo a lot less nowadays. so anyone reading this, don't show me sympathy. coz when you show me sympathy, i might mistaken it for friendship and then i'll harass you. just wait till after i've changed.

okie, i shall focus on adobe photoshop, learning guitar and doing my first script! and maybe learn to do a bit of deviant-ing. wanted to do that since secondary school. haha. deviantart is coo! haha. all these things are therapeutic in a way.

okay, i think i'll go on a "walk" anytime now. phone, i will you to ring. ciao.

Labels: life, thoughts

8:48 PM

THE PRINCESS

name; melissa chan meiyi
age; 18
bdae; 210490
location; singapore

hates; hypocrites, betrayers and traitors
loves;

dr...(+)

more;

ad...(+)

~~adp~~ ~~rgs~~ ~~rjc~~

~~1/1~~ 2F 3M 4M 5P 6Q ~~106~~ ~~206~~ ~~310~~ ~~410~~ ~~08S05B~~

~~purple house~~ buckle ~~buckle-buckley~~

adp: ~~it club~~ ~~library~~ ~~eng drama~~ ~~chinese dance~~ ~~swimming~~

rg: ~~handbells~~ ~~library~~ rjc: ~~film society~~ ~~chinese orchestra~~ japanese cultural club (once in jcc always in jcc!)

-------------

I'm a girl, who's normal most of the time, but weird otherwise. My nickname in primary school was blurqueen, which was upgraded to BBQ Bizzarely Blurqueen in Secondary 2 during Primary 6 class reunion. I have a huge variety of interests, so I end up being very poor in time management.

random;
Friends, my brother and sisters, and my computer.
I take birthdays very seriously.
I love roses.
I love the late night.
I love manga and anime.
I love my cats, (schro)dinger and newton.
I love concerts.

Me @ Twitter

follow me on Twitter

THE KINGDOM

My DeviantART
My Livejournal (more private entries than public though, and much abandoned as of now.)