iBleach- Soul Generation of Music

Friday, July 27, 2007

memories and emotions.

I'm really really very tired. I suppose I should have stayed back to film Othello (again) tonight, but the idea makes me feel like dropping dead. So I made Zijian in charge of the thing, and came home thinking I shall sleep. And end up not being able to sleep at all. Yet still tired. Irony.

Read a few blogs. Including his. By him, I meant the guy who I hate, but ironically still care about. Despite having stopped contact with him for over a year (minus that little gathering where I hardly talked to him at all). He had hurt me deeply and I shall never forgive him.

Yet...

He's blogging fully in Chinese now, it seems. That's so him. I admit, his entire persona is still fresh in my mind. A person like him takes too much effort to forget. I don't believe that he hasn't changed a bit though. I believe everyone changes in one way or another. But even so, I don't want to know how he has changed.
I suppose I miss the good times we had. Sigh.

Read a few others too. Some who are not my friends'. I really should stop reading blogs. Getting to know how they feel is bad...too many people use their blogs for venting bottled up feelings. I used to do that too, until it became too risky. There are so many things blogged which I could identify with, that I start to wonder whether I'm normal. Fine, I know, I emo a bit more than most. But there are others who emo too. What I meant is......is it normal for one person to be able to relate to so many experiences that others are going through? Painful experiences which I've been through...some of these are ones that I've experienced since forever. Is that normal?

Perhaps the reason why I like to be out at night is related to this. Being alone at night in your own room is painfully lonely. Yet night is associated with loneliness. By being out with a friend or two, or even a whole gang of friends, it gives a sense of exclusiveness...like it's special. Normally it wouldn't happen, you wouldn't be together, but you are together anyway...

That's why I like talking on the phone at night, I think. Even when there's nothing to talk about, and all you do is listen to each other’s breathing through the phone. But everyone’s so busy nowadays..

I was looking out for someone the whole day in school today. But it just wasn't meant to be. School always hoped for the school to be bonded, for everyone to know everyone. Yet some classes have timetables which clashes so badly, that you don't get to see each other during breaks, not even along the corridors because class venues are so far apart. It's really occasional that you do meet. Perhaps it's precisely this fact, which made these meetings so precious to me? I don't know. All I know is the rush of joy within me when these moments present themselves.

Labels: life, random, school, thoughts

7:52 PM

THE PRINCESS

name; melissa chan meiyi
age; 18
bdae; 210490
location; singapore

hates; hypocrites, betrayers and traitors
loves;

dr...(+)

more;

ad...(+)

~~adp~~ ~~rgs~~ ~~rjc~~

~~1/1~~ 2F 3M 4M 5P 6Q ~~106~~ ~~206~~ ~~310~~ ~~410~~ ~~08S05B~~

~~purple house~~ buckle ~~buckle-buckley~~

adp: ~~it club~~ ~~library~~ ~~eng drama~~ ~~chinese dance~~ ~~swimming~~

rg: ~~handbells~~ ~~library~~ rjc: ~~film society~~ ~~chinese orchestra~~ japanese cultural club (once in jcc always in jcc!)

-------------

I'm a girl, who's normal most of the time, but weird otherwise. My nickname in primary school was blurqueen, which was upgraded to BBQ Bizzarely Blurqueen in Secondary 2 during Primary 6 class reunion. I have a huge variety of interests, so I end up being very poor in time management.

random;
Friends, my brother and sisters, and my computer.
I take birthdays very seriously.
I love roses.
I love the late night.
I love manga and anime.
I love my cats, (schro)dinger and newton.
I love concerts.

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THE KINGDOM

My DeviantART
My Livejournal (more private entries than public though, and much abandoned as of now.)