iBleach- Soul Generation of Music

Monday, March 05, 2007

PISSED

I AM PISSED. but i have no reason to be pissed. I am just being unreasonable and over demanding i guess. But it's frustrating. It takes two hands to clap and if some people are so uncooperative in maintaining friendships..Ok. seriously, I'm being unreasonable. Guess I just felt like throwing a tantrum. And it just so happens that all my friends...friends who are close enough for me to whine, and complain to, are either too tired or too busy...or too caught up by their own problems. And I don't wanna be the meanie friend I've been for the past few weeks. I'm like sinful....I'm ashamed of myself. I've been handing my friends all my burdens for the past couple of weeks, which turned out to be quite a lot. But I know too, that if i carried all of them by myself, i wouldn't have been able to make it through. For this, I love my friends. No number of words can convey how much I appreciate the fact that this group of special people are there to support me. The days when I try too hard to be independent and bottle up were in the not so distant past. I can still remember how dreadful those days were. Guess that's why I'm kinda addicted to telling-all. Rid of one bad habit and got another completely opposite one. I've graduated from hurting myself by bottling up, to risk hurting myself by telling too much.

By the way, I'm not emo. Not tonight. I'm determined to stick to my resolution.

Dad's in a bad mood tonight again. Too tired. This family just isn't the way it used to be anymore. But at least I'm kinda learning to cope with it. At least I feel better at home now. Not as lonely. It comes from influence. From having friends who all just keep encouraging you to go home. Friends who love their homes. But not feeling as lonely doesn't mean the home's warmer now. We still don't do anything as a family. It's all snapping when either adults are tired. I guess I'm just growing used to it. I'm tired of feeling sad. And I guess venting it out the other day plays a part too, in my giving in to resignation.

i bet i don make sense again.

Vicky (or cream as my sis calls it) came home today. We've decided not to send her to the breeder afterall. My sister misses it too much to bear letting it out of sight for any longer. So now we are stuck with saline solution, a medicine cream, and yakalt. Really, yakalt. Cause of the diarrhea, which was a side effect from the infection. We are supposed to feed the yakalt with a syringe. and ever since Sandy died from choking while my mum was feeding it with a syringe, I've been very paranoid about syringes and hamsters. So my sister's undertaking the feeding. Out of my sight.

i think too much. i should learn to zen.

Oh, I drew on my arm today. the green and the blue's supposed to be sparkling...glittery pens. But apparently, photos don't show that. =( It looks so much nicer in real "arm".

Labels: life, rant

8:42 PM

THE PRINCESS

name; melissa chan meiyi
age; 18
bdae; 210490
location; singapore

hates; hypocrites, betrayers and traitors
loves;

dr...(+)

more;

ad...(+)

~~adp~~ ~~rgs~~ ~~rjc~~

~~1/1~~ 2F 3M 4M 5P 6Q ~~106~~ ~~206~~ ~~310~~ ~~410~~ ~~08S05B~~

~~purple house~~ buckle ~~buckle-buckley~~

adp: ~~it club~~ ~~library~~ ~~eng drama~~ ~~chinese dance~~ ~~swimming~~

rg: ~~handbells~~ ~~library~~ rjc: ~~film society~~ ~~chinese orchestra~~ japanese cultural club (once in jcc always in jcc!)

-------------

I'm a girl, who's normal most of the time, but weird otherwise. My nickname in primary school was blurqueen, which was upgraded to BBQ Bizzarely Blurqueen in Secondary 2 during Primary 6 class reunion. I have a huge variety of interests, so I end up being very poor in time management.

random;
Friends, my brother and sisters, and my computer.
I take birthdays very seriously.
I love roses.
I love the late night.
I love manga and anime.
I love my cats, (schro)dinger and newton.
I love concerts.

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THE KINGDOM

My DeviantART
My Livejournal (more private entries than public though, and much abandoned as of now.)