iBleach- Soul Generation of Music

Sunday, February 11, 2007

i just quarreled with my mum. i really donno why, but we can't seem to communicate anymore. we get angry with each other over the most trivial things..all i did today was ask when is lunch gonna be ready. she accused me of adding stress to her load, and also of going out. but i already cancelled my appointments today to study! i really donno what I can do or say to her without us ending up in an arguement. It was bad. It's one of our shortest arguements..one of the most trivial..but it hurt me badly. It'll really be the best for me and the whole family...if i stay out, in a hostel or something. but it kinda go against the family philosophy....

if that isn't enough, seng smsed me today. asking for school badges to add onto his collection. AFTER WHAT HE DID TO ME. i donno anymore. i hate the guy to the core, yet there has always been this glimmer of hope inside me that we'll patch up. I need to resolve in giving up. he has absolutely no sentiments, and he thinks that he has to give up old friends for new ones...and considering how much i've been hurt by him, i should just forget about him. he's no longer the ho seng chuan i know a few years ago. i have to crush that hope of mine...somehow.

all that on top of the insecurity i've been feeling...it's like the world's crushing onto me. i actually had the thought of suicide for less than 30 secs just now! my gosh...that puts me under 100% bipolar doesn't it?? haha. i'm crazy...but a few seconds do not count right? haha...i think i'm creeping myself out again..i'm like seriously not myself..

Labels: thoughts

12:51 PM

THE PRINCESS

name; melissa chan meiyi
age; 18
bdae; 210490
location; singapore

hates; hypocrites, betrayers and traitors
loves;

dr...(+)

more;

ad...(+)

~~adp~~ ~~rgs~~ ~~rjc~~

~~1/1~~ 2F 3M 4M 5P 6Q ~~106~~ ~~206~~ ~~310~~ ~~410~~ ~~08S05B~~

~~purple house~~ buckle ~~buckle-buckley~~

adp: ~~it club~~ ~~library~~ ~~eng drama~~ ~~chinese dance~~ ~~swimming~~

rg: ~~handbells~~ ~~library~~ rjc: ~~film society~~ ~~chinese orchestra~~ japanese cultural club (once in jcc always in jcc!)

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I'm a girl, who's normal most of the time, but weird otherwise. My nickname in primary school was blurqueen, which was upgraded to BBQ Bizzarely Blurqueen in Secondary 2 during Primary 6 class reunion. I have a huge variety of interests, so I end up being very poor in time management.

random;
Friends, my brother and sisters, and my computer.
I take birthdays very seriously.
I love roses.
I love the late night.
I love manga and anime.
I love my cats, (schro)dinger and newton.
I love concerts.

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THE KINGDOM

My DeviantART
My Livejournal (more private entries than public though, and much abandoned as of now.)