Saturday, April 12, 2008
On Friday I was pissed with Econs lecture, of which I shall not repeat the details of what happened again, especially not online. But I was pissed. Not just pissed, but mega pissed. And I get super affected when I'm mega pissed. Especially when my mood equilibrium has been off balance for a long time since Wednesday already. The Econs lecture incident just tipped me off and I felt like I couldn't handle it without doing something about it. Too much negative energy was accumulating within me and I needed to expel them.
And so, I forfeited the whole of today, after the ORA walk-a-jogathon, and spent time hanging around people who knows how to have fun.
Roger is starting to form the impression as "The-One-With-Formidable-Board-Games". Playing flipping games are fun. Going to PI for the first time ever is nice. Having a friend like Raph who (replacing me) had to go through the experience of being bored in the middle of a thunderstorm for 6 hours is like possessing worldly treasures if not more. Knowing that Aaron Tan is a semi-otaku and plays parapara is refreshing. Hearing "Yesterday" once more after a break of two years, and actually going through the moves on parapara is simply the best ending to the day one (or rather, I) can ever wish for. (Oh. and I still owe raph a lunch.)After a day like this, even a mood of negative hundred percent would be raised to hundred percent, if not two hundred. (It was two hundred but dropped rapidly back to normal on the way to the mrt stations, and the mrt ride accelerated it even more.)
If this is a livejournal, and I am required to fill that little space below that says mood, the little icon that fits what I'm feeling now most would probably be "blessed".
I feel really blessed, because of the great friends I have now. Seriously. Even if this sounds cliche/mushy, but there are certain individuals (definitely not restricted to the ones i hung out with today) who are really endearing to me after the "going-to-be" two years in rjc. ok, thing is....I feel loved. Not that my parents or my primary school clique doesn't love me or anything like that..But.
I'm really glad to have been part of RG. I love RG. I'm proud of RG. But my experience in RG just isn't as great as most girls. The library was the only place in the entire campus where I felt most at home. Rather than saying that school was my second home at that time (as is the norm for most school-going kids), RG library was my second home. I won't go into the details on why this was so. Anyone who knows me well enough would know what I mean. And that was why I depended so much on my primary school gang. But as much as (I believe that) they want to be by my side, they aren't there all the time. And admittedly, as we progress from sec 1 to sec 4, our commitments grew exponentially, and thus while the support was there, it was only barely enough.
Maybe the ostracism during the two years of K2 was a blessing in disguise. (YES. I repeated K2. Long story. But I did NOT retain.) It made me treasure friends more. And then the years in RG was yet another blessing. Because it helped me find a greater balance between friends and family. I've been blessed with great friends and family (even as there were/are problems, but they are still great family. there are far worse ones out there.)
Random but perhaps loosely linked(?), I was wondering during the long mrt ride home about the friends who are such a big part of my life now. Someone once told me sometime ago (I forgot who) that the fact that many of my friends in RJ now are guys may give others a bad impression. That kinda thing...you know...erm...forget it, either you get it or you don't, I'm not gonna say it. Well, it suddenly came to me while I was taking a break from reading "Good Omens" on the MRT (totally random once again) that maybe the reason for that is that most of the time, the guys are better at having fun. Really. Even back in primary school, where my clique was "co-ed", all the fun things are initiated by guys. Guys are always the funny ones. (Have you ever encountered a female class clown? No? See? Proves my point.) I'm attracted to fun people, because it rids me of the responsibility of coming up with programmes, which tend to fail and then the fault is on me when the day isn't fun. But somehow, the next time round people look to me again to take charge of the programme. This thing about me coming up with programmes started sometime in Sec 3, and I was getting sick of it. So maybe that's why I like hanging out with guys. They represent easy fun. Just a (long) random thought.
And now that I thought about what I have just typed, I realise that it lacks coherence, has little chronological order and is probably very confusing to read. The thoughts relating to "I am blessed" occurred after the train ride on my walk home from the mrt by the way. This is seriously some (long) random ramblings that I doubt anyone would bother to read, but I just felt the need to type it down anyway.
I really really feel like dedicating to the "endearing people" mentioned but then that would have serious political implications. Maybe I'll do that after A levels. Maybe after grad night. haha. Like make a list or something. XP
[EDIT: Few seconds after posting] Oops, I realise this is a bit the very very very long after viewing my blog. LOL.Labels: friends, life, musing, thoughts, weekend
