iBleach- Soul Generation of Music

Monday, March 19, 2007

OKay...here's some more thoughts..

(oh btw, this entry is posted on my sister's com, WITH my sister's permission. I'm surprised she actually gave me permission! lol.)

Today, I acted on my new strategy. And I didn't think. Until now anyway. But I'm still not thinking about the 'bad' stuff..just about this strategy. And I started worrying what it might do to me. I mean, what if it would desensitise me. After all, I do care. I'm just forcing myself not to care so much. but then, I guess I'm just worrying too much again.

And I listed out the stuff...the common likes and favorites. And realised that if I am gonna give up all of them, I'll die. Can you imagine?? Giving up your favorite author, your passion in manga, stuff like food that you like, sauces....Nope. There's no way I'm giving up all that. So I shall just learn to manage. And not suffer. Jodie says there's no way to fall out of love just like that. But crushing's not the same as love, so I'm still gonna try.

Falling in and out of love. Maybe the term 'love' isn't really used appropriately here..you don't 'fall' in love. a fall's too sudden. you kinda 'grown' into love.

AND i realised that some people still hates me. i'm not talking about jiang ning. ok, maybe not hate. dislike. or just don really like. they are just tolerating me out of necessity. ok, maybe not necessity.....more like convenience. I'm starting to accept that fact too.

I think I'm starting to get more control on my life now. finally. now all's left to do is to end that stupid, lame and pathetic suffering. man, i sound bitter. haha...maybe it's coz I'm too tired after the 2.4km run.

SO.....A FORMAL LIST OF 2007 RESOLUTIONS. reserve the right to add items onto the list. but not the right to remove any of the items. XP

Reduce emo-ing to at most 30% of the time. And reduce extent of emo-ing.\
Rely less on friends. Become more independent.
More will power. And actually start doing things I should have started years ago. Not gonna elaborate what are those stuff.
Start studying. There's A levels. And I don't wanna risk letting my mum use my grades as an excuse to stop my guitar lessons. XS
Less computer. (*heart is shattering...ouch*) No choice, with GP tuition and guitar lessons added onto the list. I really should spend less time on computer. Not to mentioned my com just got confiscated. So when I get it back, definitely less computer.
NAPFA - SILVER

AND ULTIMATE TASKS must do IN 2007 (again, right to add items, but not to remove any.)

STUDY
LEARN THEORY. LEARN GUITAR. AND ZHONG RUAN. AND TRY TO LEARN KEYBOARD.....TRY.
NEW LAYOUT. seriously. and cut away crap in the sidebar.
PORTFOLIO. i've been procrastinating on this for years..
TRAIN FOR NAPFA. 2.4km run, shuttle-run, SBJ. how do u train for shuttle anw...
PLAY BASKETBALL. coz i'm so lousy that i can't stand it.
PAINT A MURAL IN MY ROOM. year-end lah.
LEARN JAP. i forgot like more than half of what i knew lah. X(

P.S. My basketball's lost!!! =( can't find it anywhere...Dad says that he'll buy one in malaysia, but i bet it's one of the really cheapo cannot bounce well kind. but then i can't really complain lah. i'm not pro anywayz, and i don play often. so no need such a good ball lah. lol.

P.P.S seriously, sincerely, thx royce. i think u helped a lot.

Labels: thoughts

6:24 PM

THE PRINCESS

name; melissa chan meiyi
age; 18
bdae; 210490
location; singapore

hates; hypocrites, betrayers and traitors
loves;

dr...(+)

more;

ad...(+)

~~adp~~ ~~rgs~~ ~~rjc~~

~~1/1~~ 2F 3M 4M 5P 6Q ~~106~~ ~~206~~ ~~310~~ ~~410~~ ~~08S05B~~

~~purple house~~ buckle ~~buckle-buckley~~

adp: ~~it club~~ ~~library~~ ~~eng drama~~ ~~chinese dance~~ ~~swimming~~

rg: ~~handbells~~ ~~library~~ rjc: ~~film society~~ ~~chinese orchestra~~ japanese cultural club (once in jcc always in jcc!)

-------------

I'm a girl, who's normal most of the time, but weird otherwise. My nickname in primary school was blurqueen, which was upgraded to BBQ Bizzarely Blurqueen in Secondary 2 during Primary 6 class reunion. I have a huge variety of interests, so I end up being very poor in time management.

random;
Friends, my brother and sisters, and my computer.
I take birthdays very seriously.
I love roses.
I love the late night.
I love manga and anime.
I love my cats, (schro)dinger and newton.
I love concerts.

Me @ Twitter

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THE KINGDOM

My DeviantART
My Livejournal (more private entries than public though, and much abandoned as of now.)