Silentcelle

2011-09-19T18:05:00.002+08:00

I really wish I can purge myself from this world and erase everyone's memories of me so that my non-existence won't affect anyone. Then everyone would be so much better off. I should never have existed.

2011-09-19T17:02:00.003+08:00

I don't know what I'm doing. And why my existence around others only ever cause trouble or unhappiness for them.

I'm a 闲杂人等 at best.

2011-09-13T00:42:00.002+08:00

I'm more than a lil bit tired of living. But I'm still living. Probably because I'm too afraid of dying.

Not to mention hell, though I wonder if I still believe in its existence sometimes.

2011-08-29T00:27:00.002+08:00

Today was perfect. We were both happy. So why am I remembering that he doesn't love me anymore? The second time today. I need to stop remembering this for me to remain motivated and strong; for me to have even a remote chance in retrieving his heart. But it's so hard to stop longing for the day when he'd reply 'I love you' when we hang up or when we're being close.

I'll also need to forget if I wish to have sufficient sleep for the days ahead where I need much energy to accomplish much things.

2011-08-11T01:00:00.002+08:00

If I keep my distance. If I really gain enough discipline to keep my distance...is there still hope?

2011-08-11T00:28:00.002+08:00

It's all too late. In all probability, too late. I can only regret now. There's no redeeming, no turning back. Like he always says, there are some stuff once done, it's done. No matter how much tears I shed, how strongly I regret what I've done, it's too late. I've ruined it. I know it.

I want to let him know, but it's no use either. On one hand, he might get upset. Like usual, he's upset when I am. On the other hand, my emotions may no longer affect him. Either way I can't let him know. But I want to. But I can't, I shouldn't.

If it's going to end anyway, I should let him go peacefully and without harassment. I should stop doing him more wrong.

Desires are a strong thing. Let me blog here to fulfill my desires, for there is hope that he'll read it one day. But not likely, since this is abandoned and old and doesn't even appear on google search anymore. I'm such a selfish person. But I can't help it. I cannot sleep. And when I do sleep, I wake up early. I have no soul, except when there's distractions, when there's company. But afterall, it starts feeling like a shell afterall. Colours on the surface of the shell fade after awhile. The shell's still empty. I'm sorry I'm so faithless. I'm sorry that my centre of the universe is a human. I deserve to go to hell. I can't help it. I feel as though I've ruined something which really could have been perfect. Such potential to be perfect. I felt as though I grasped real happiness for once. I lost it. He's gone. He's never coming back. He's too good for me, he won't want me anymore. He tasted freedom. He'll want better. Loving me is not worth it. I'm so selfish to want him to love me. I'm so damn selfish. Selfish.

I need to release. Fuck. Release. This is the one time in your life, you gotta have discipline no matter what happens. Release him from the torture. Your messages bring no joy to him anymore. Stop. Release him.

2011-08-07T18:50:00.002+08:00

If I'm not here in this world, he won't be having these additional stress and burden to deal with. My life sucks right now. I'm not useful/helpful to anyone in the world right now. But I'm harmful to many. I'm like toxic.

2009-05-09T02:05:00.001+08:00

or maybe i just won't update. not sure if i'll give up on this blog in the end. but i'm blogging elsewhere from now on.

Domain (again)

2009-05-07T16:27:00.001+08:00

Okay people, I think I'm going to get that domain I lost years ago. Any recommendation on good web hosts?

sticking with the low quality

2009-05-07T00:22:00.002+08:00

Suddenly I feel sick of blogger. I have no idea why. I'm just sick of it. The entire concept sucks. LJ is so much better. Wordpress even more so. But I'm stuck here simply because I like all my thoughts in one place, and this blog is like 3 years old.

Then again, I had another blog, also 3 years old, on blogger, and I abandoned it all the same. It's still around, I can still go back to read whenever I want to. But that also meant my thoughts are NOT all in the same place. I can easily do the same thing over again. And shift my internet base to something more superior. livejournal. Or maybe even better, wordpress.

Perhaps, shifting to a superior platform will inspire me to not write as much nonsense as I write here. Which I do from time to time out of a sense of obligation. To not abandon this blog. To write something here.

Maybe.....I'll reach a decision and update. Soon I think.

Sims 3! <3

2009-05-06T00:35:00.000+08:00

Arts Fest Volunteer Training

2009-05-06T00:11:00.003+08:00

Life without work once again. As usual, the beginning's relaxing and not too sian. haha. Watched a couple of animes. Did a bit of Japanese. Slept in and slacked the entire afternoon.

Went down to the MICA building at 7pm for a training session for the volunteers of the Singapore Arts Festival. Met Sylvia and Sean...I only know their names since I missed the previous "get-to-know" session. Majority of the volunteers were HWCH people lah. LOL. According to the people I asked, apparently NAC asked the SAP schools but only HWCH responded. They asked RI too...but there wasn't any response. Since everyone there were like JC and youngsters, I assume by RI, they really meant RJC sigh. WHY OH WHY NO RJC PEOPLE VOLUNTEERED? boo. We have a lot of people who care about the arts don't we? Oh well.

So anyway, got this really cool Arts Fest tee...there's a choice between green and purple. Guess which I took. Nope, you guessed wrong (everyone who knows me would guess green haha). I took purple. Haha. I'm surprised at myself since whenever I get a choice I usually take green. But well, I was in purple house in primary school you know. Anyway, thought I have too many green shirts already, shouldn't take green anymore haha. Or maybe I'm just getting influenced by shuyi.

Covered things like jobscope, and the general idea of the festival. Nothing really useful actually, pretty much things I would have read about myself before I go for the volunteer sessions. But at the end of everything, we went to see the Festival Hub. THAT IS WHAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT. The idea behind the installation totally reminded me why I like art so much. Shall elaborate more next time. This requires an entire post on its own man. Nope, this is one post which I will not forget or get lazy to write about LOL.

By the time everything ended, it was around 10pm. Decided to take mrt to marina bay so that I'd get seats. But the train stalled at Raffles Place. Two staff with walkie talkies came running into the cabins and ran up and down a bit...talking in their walkie talkies...before getting this young boy and who i presume to be his family out of the train. The train subsequently got delayed for nearly 20mins I think. Was so curious, almost got out of the train, perhaps to ask the control station what is happening. But I never did, for fear that my seat shall get taken, and the next train might take ages to come. The funny thing is the recording kept repeating that the train was delayed due to a "track fault"...which I doubt was the case. Oh well.

Lucky it wasn't some terrorist attack or something? LOL. Coz when the staff first approached the boy, they seemed to talk about the bag below him or something. Not too sure. Was too far away. Or maybe I imagined it =P

------------

Been thinking too much these days again I think. Overanalysing even my very own thoughts and feelings. Maybe I should be more happy-go-lucky, haha. And not think so much. Funny how shuyi said I'm more of the happy-go-lucky kind, yet roger and kh (and sometimes mark?) are always saying I think too much for my own good.

The last few nights weren't restful nights. Weird dreams, followed by strange happenings the next day. Sigh. I hope I'm worried for nothing.

P.S. The truefriendtest is completely not accurate now I think. Maybe I should redo it haha. But then I'll have to pester people to do it once again so that the ranking board won't be empty haha! XD

Self-awareness and self-preservation

2009-05-03T01:40:00.002+08:00

I have so much trouble blogging what I really wanna say these days. After effects of being friends with guys? Sigh. I used to have no trouble at all.

But maybe some feelings, no matter how much you wanna express it, are too embarrassing after awhile. There's also the constant worries of things going wrong. So I guess the desire for some people to read does not triumph the risk of things going wrong upon some people reading. ta-dah. bad language, but that's it.

It's bad to like stuff/people/situations too much. Because losing them would be so scary.

Architecture Interview

2009-04-28T09:17:00.003+08:00

Okay, this is late news...but here it is anyway. I'm shortlisted for NUS architecture interview on the 29th.

It doesn't mean anything. It simply means I'm not pro enough to be admitted straight without interview via the aptitude test (like duh?)...and also that I'm not downright lousy till I don't even get the chance to go for an interview. Bearing that in mind, like 100 over (near 200 maybe?) people get an interview, so it's not really an achievement.

>.< I'm so going to blank out.

Anyway, I come to the office today with several plans in mind.
1) I am going to quit this job. Simply cannot stand her anymore. I'll look for some other job, part time perhaps. Maybe start on that business I've always wanted. Do some stuff before school starts (if I have school that is).
2) Since I'm gonna quit...I might heed kh's advice and say some stuff I really think. But it depends. And I'll prolly not be too nasty. It's not really my nature I think, however fiery I might be at times >.<
3) I'll leave early today. Prep for the interview a bit. Must bear in mind I have tutoring tonight too.

But guess what? She's not here. And I'm not going to be here tomorrow. So...I can't quit/say what's on my mind/ask for permission to leave early. Regardly the last point, I'll just do it without permission. Hmm...shall ask Raymond.

...

ok, he doesn't know either. I'll just do it without permission. Sigh, do I tell them I'm going to quit? >.<

Without a job...I need to think about new sources of income. Lots of things that require money. University (if I get in), my cats' sterilization coming 7th, possible business investment, and JAPAN TRIP - the one thing I really really don't wanna compromise on. Yes, no matter what must get enough for Japan rawr.

2009-04-26T00:03:00.003+08:00

I feel like shit. I feel like shit. I feel like shit.

A hundred obstacles.
A thousand distractions.
A million people who don't understand me.

Can't you tell I need someone now?
I'm scared. Damn you.

I hate being unstable. I despise myself when I'm like that.
But when I'm like that..
I don't really care.

Morning rant

2009-04-24T09:13:00.002+08:00

Ok, first thing in the office for me today is to blog and not mousehunt (no work now). Why? Because I'm feeling damn pissed off.

This is what happened.

Yesterday, she had 2 hours time off. So she asks me to off the radio on the mobile phone, which is connected to our "music-on-hold" system, at 6pm. Which is what I did.

And today she scolds me robotic? Why? Because I didn't off the phone. AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT? Like seriously, obviously if she didn't tell me I won't dare to off right? Like what if it's connected to some recording machine...or worse still connected to the surveillance system or something. What the hell. And now I'm robotic. She thinks she's so clever and everything. Everyone is beneath her. She doesn't do it often, but I heard her scold another colleague yesterday. Made him sound like he's damn stupid. Seriously, everyone must be perfect except for her. And everyone's supposed to read her mind, else we are stupid or robotic. ARGH.

I pity her daughter man. From what I overheard during her rather loud telephone conversations, she probably doesn't like her mum very much. Now I feel like I love my mum to bits. rawr.

It took all my effort to bite my tongue and not confront her about this just now lah.

19th Birthday

2009-04-22T00:30:00.002+08:00

Ah...I'm nineteen. Though to tell the truth, it doesn't feel as drama this year. But it really is the best I've had thus far. Certain people's actions, though small, but really touched me. Like the sms I got in the morning. Actually especially the sms I got in the morning. From the unknown number. You know who you are, when you get back to read this..thanks.

Shopping with shuyi was really fun. I haven't shopped properly in a long time...Saw this leopard beret that really suited shuyi so bought it for her as a early birthday present haha...She gave me a bunny toy! XD though to be honest, it looks like a donkey in some angles. haha.

Jan shares the same birthday as me, so shuyi had to leave early. Mark and Jerome came later...and roger too...though he missed us after walking three rounds, and jerome had to go over to drag him here haha. So I ended up eating two cones, one with shuyi, and one with the guys. Lanning proceeded after the cones....I'm not last in all the games!~ YAY. muahahahahaha. Okay lah, I lan a bit more than mark? donno. but so yea, I'm always 2nd or 3rd out of the 5 of us. Oh, except for the first game I think. Oh well, cannot remember liao lol. But was fun. XD

If I didn't know the guys in JC...I wouldn't be able to lan on my birthday bah. *sighs happily*

So yay...got a gag gift from mark...NS CAMO MAKEUP KIT. WTF. i was like completely speechless lah. ended up giving it to Jared...since he enlisting on friday LOL. The actual presents were great (thanks guys) and Jared (and gang) decided to pay for my threadless shirts as a bdae prezzie...though I'll still be paying him for the shirt that I bought for Shan haha.

Sammie and Ning stayed at starbucks, using my sister as a bait to surprise me. haha. They got me strawberry shortcake....but my sister smashed it accidentally haha. But thanks people, really loved the thought. I know you guys are tired and everything from school lah. Especially you ning. >.< you really look wrecked. <333 Sam and Ning!

Come to think of it, I really have a thing for strawberry cakes haha.

Thanks everyone who made my birthday great! and all the birthday wishes, via facebook or sms =)

SUSHI-TEI <333

2009-04-19T01:20:00.003+08:00

Ate lunch with chenzhen and vanessa at Kyo Nichii again and it was as good as ever. Then spent the afternoon using my com while listening in on the econs crash course cz was giving vanessa. Woonie arrived later and ended up watching anime/watching me play eroge behind me. The usual slacking at the esplanade...which I actually like. LOL. Contrary to what some people might expect of me. XD

Dinner was at Sushi-tei! Though we had to wait half an hour for seats, and woonie had to rush back to camp, so he ate at the food court instead. He did eat some Umaki and Dai Dai Rolls though when we finally got our seats, before rushing off to camp. AHHHH the Umaki was heavenly haha. Too bad Vanessa doesn't like eels XD Seriously, Sushi-tei is the best place to splurge...the food is sooo good it's difficult to feel guilty about spending money there. haha. And the bill came up to be less than we expected too. About 20 bucks per person, split among the three of us. We planned a 30 dollars plus budget lah! LOL. Vanessa's dad's membership card helped though. 10 percent discount! XD

Ahhhhh I love sushi-tei.

Oh, before woonie left, woonie and vanessa presented me with my birthday present. PSP PATAPON 2! LOL. in japanese too...vanessa says it's a motivation for me to learn japanese fast. XD but seriously, after roger and cz's repeated warnings not to play the game lest the cute sounds get stuck in my head LOL. wheeeeee i'm so happy. LOVE VANESSA AND WOONIE! <3 lol. but seriously, the day's the best, with present or not. CZ is the best person to go out with lah, vanessa claims our nonsensical arguements are the best entertainment. oh, and the sea salt caramel icecream at asabo is damn nice too!!!

Shit, I can't stop thinking about how nice sushi-tei was LOL. seriously, at this rate i'm really going to associate good food with cz le lah. everytime with him sure eat good food one LOL.

2 more days to free cone day! LOL. 2 more days till i'm 19 too XD

PATAPATAPATAPON!~
shall try the game asap. maybe tmr haha.

Gmail RSS

2009-04-16T11:18:00.001+08:00

Am I slow to only just realised that there is an rss feed available for my gmail inbox?
Though I wonder who would make use of that function. For work email which doesn't receive many emails maybe?

Film Work!

2009-04-15T02:00:00.002+08:00

http://www.mandy.com/1/jobs3.cfm?v=32843599

Sean just posted the job vacancies....for us, the production assistant post is suitable =)

Only problem being....UNI STARTS IN LATE JULY EARLY AUGUST?

sigh. good things always happen when I can't do it.
Or if I don't get into uni, I can go for it I guess. LOL.
Or I can just see if Sean lets me do it despite having uni schedules LOL.

OKay, nevermind. We'll see how. In the meantime, whoever of you film people wants to apply may apply. Without my permission yes. XD

****

2009-04-07T11:12:00.001+08:00

It's official. I hate my supervisor. Full story tonight.

Foul Supervisor

2009-04-02T10:46:00.003+08:00

Okay, today's a bad day at work. There's still the usual amount of (little) work to do..So I'm doing my own stuff. But my supervisor appears to be in a foul mood today. She's unusually impatient and fierce. >.< So I'm going to try do as little of my own stuff in front of her (although supposedly she's one person I don't have to hide from?) Sigh. It shall be totally unbelievable though, since there's really absolutely nothing to do. Except when someone asks me to do something for them?

Oh, I'm getting a PSP soon btw. =D Totally need to sell my netbook soon.

Life life LIFE! =D

2009-03-30T22:33:00.002+08:00

Kahhou was right. All I needed to set my life right is a job. Even though the job's really slack, it fills my life up, and suddenly it feels on track again!

It's funny (and ironic) how I have such bad time management, copes with tight schedules badly, and yet I cannot survive when I'm too free. >.<

But anyway, now I feel upbeat and life feels meaningful haha. I even volunteered for the Singapore Arts Festival. Just emailed the form over minutes ago haha. Whee~~

Oh! And I just got an SMIP card from AMK Hub Zone X too. Man, I want an e-amusement card, then I can play more songs on JuBeat. Then again, I'm so noob so it probably doesn't matter XD.

And I got a really really really pretty kitty shirt!! =D Wanted to get the bag version, but the design doesn't have the size I want. Sigh. So oh well, the shirt is nice! Even though white ran out, I got the black one instead. But still pretty...XD shall wear for Jap Club Camp I think =D

Or maybe I'll wear school clothes.

Or bring and then change into it. LOL.

ah, see how first bah. whee~ life is fun. =D

First blog entry at work XD

2009-03-27T17:09:00.005+08:00

I'm so bored at work, with nothing to do, I'm seriously considering writing something. Then perhaps I won't be so bored, and my language might improve! With the added benefit that typing might make me look busier too. LOL. Since I'm supposed to create the impression that I'm busy when the boss is in the office.

The person in-charge of me is really nice, being my mother's age and all. The girl I'm replacing is two years older than me and really fun too. She's actually in NTU, but she doesn't go for the lectures, just go for the exams LOL? Damn cool. She happens to be the niece of my person in-charge too. The job's easy too.

Plus, I don't have to do personal things behind their backs. LOL. They're cool with it. =D

P.S. Typing with colemak once again. So never practice qwerty le. Skills shall degen man. =S

EDIT (18:00): Spent the past hour brainstorming for an idea to write on. Kinda struck on something bah. LOL. but no, I'm not going to show anyone if i do embark on it. muahahahaha.

I'm Employed!

2009-03-27T00:40:00.002+08:00

Nowadays, I blog only in the middle of the night. Even though for the past two weeks, I have been jobless and completely free the entire day (for most days anyway).

But as of today (27/3) I'm no longer unemployed!

Yes, today. Since it's past midnight. I'm reporting for work at Raffles Place later at 9am. Temp admin. Familiar territory, so there shouldn't be much of a problem I hope?

Oh, and must remember to go down to Zone X at AMK Hub to get SMIP card! Conveniently I lost my Tapz card too...So I can't transfer the points over. Oh well.

Another late night ranting episode

2009-03-23T00:41:00.003+08:00

I probably should be writing properly, rather than adding random sniplets of thoughts, links, pictures, whatever not into this blog. The blog deserves better. While talking to shuyi today, I noticed (randomly once again) that the blog must be one of the oldest I've ever kept. It's almost 3 years now. The other blog which I kept as an archive *hurriedly goes back to my dashboard to check how long I kept the blog for* was started in December 2004 and shut down in April 2006. That's 1 and a half years. I believe I've written online much more than I've written in any physical diary (yes, a computer fanatic like me kept physical diaries). So much of me, all on the internet, a medium considered by most people to be the greatest violation of privacy.

I'm not sure whether I've ever mentioned this in my entries before, but there is a reason to why I shower my thoughts and emotions so openly (and randomly) online. It may not have been conscious when I first dabbled with the internet, but as I grow up and learn more about myself, it became apparent. I used to find someone who understands me. By the definition of that childish immature me, empathising is not the same as understanding. To me, understanding can only occur when the person is similar to me, if not exactly the same as me.

Obviously, that's not possible. We are all created to be different. Even the most similar people have their differences. Thus I lived my life disappointed, while hopeful that some day I'll find a friend like that. I know, you must be thinking, "What you have said sounds like you were finding what people call a 'soulmate'!". Maybe. In fact, there was a period of time I called it as that. I wasn't secretive about my goals at all. I'm vocal, constantly searching. If anyone had the heart and mind to, they would have heard me and took me seriously. All I wanted was a friend.

My thinking have changed since though. Having gotten to know some people who are highly similar to me, in terms of personality, thoughts and emotions, I realise that you may not always truely desire your ideals. Having someone who is your replica can be problematic too, especially when you possesses characteristics which make you repel people of the same kind - in my case, stubborness. Of course, things are not simple like that. But these are just some of the factors that make something which is impossible in the first place, undesirable.

God creates things, invent rules, make the world work the way it is, all for a reason huh?

Everyone around me has been getting sweet with their significant halves recently. I shall not name names lest I invade on their privacy or betray their trust (although they have in no way displayed desire to keep whatever they have shared with me private). Human nature makes us desire to be loved, to be cared for. All I've ever encountered is hurt and disappointment huh? Everything happens for a reason. It's probably to build me up, grow me as a person, and I agree I'm not ready yet. It gets tiring though. To have my friends regard me as their "cupid" or "love advisor" just aggravates the matter. It's kind of oxymoronic. I'd be lying if I claim that I don't crave for some romance in my life, especially with stories of what their girlfriend or boyfriend did (topped with chocolate cream, rice, and a little cherry on top to make it even sweeter) pour in on all sides. I'd welcome any romantic encounters with arms wide open when the time comes, when Father finally grants it to me. For now though, I'm not ready, not to mention I kind of lost faith in guys as guys now. They may make great friends, but nothing more (Majority of my friends are guys for a reason. they are fun. Seriously. Sorry sammie and ning and a lot of my close girlfriends who I cannot name due to space constraints. You guys are fun too. Just in a different way.).

It's so funny that yesterday my mum suddenly got worried that I might not want to get married in the future. It seems that she got so used to me dating, that now that I've stopped, her imagination starts running wild. She was careful with her words too. It went something along the lines of, I support you in your decision if you want to focus on your university education, you were disappointed with your A level results, and I agree that relationships have an impact on studies more or less...just stay as good friends first, but eventually getting married is an important part of life without which you wouldn't be experiencing life in totality...blah blah blah blah blah. Funny the person who told me when I was in primary school that boyfriends are strictly off limits till university got worried when I stopped dating.

And now I realised how much I've ranted. The last time I ranted so much without realising it till it's way too long must be J1. Sigh, good old days. If I carry on the trend, I bet my friends shall go back to the habit of skimming, or even not reading my blog already. Haha.

P.S. Such a long entry probably drowned what I posted earlier. If anyone wants to go for Good News Singapore...Tell me kay? So I know who to look out for if I do go. haha.

A night of healing and miracles?

2009-03-23T00:17:00.003+08:00

http://www.goodnewssingapore.com/

Found this online. Not sure if I'll go yet. Depends on situation.

Checklist

2009-03-22T02:13:00.002+08:00

All of a sudden, I became inspired (less than 10 seconds ago). I have come to realise that I have NOT been doing majority of the things I said I would do after A levels. Thing is, I may even have lost track. So here's a list. Yesh.

Reading the Bible more often, everyday if possible - in progress, though kinda undisciplined >.<

Watch good films. A good step would be to get that premium membership from NLB.

Learn Japanese. Procrastinated long enough. - in progress, maybe a bit more disciplined, but not quite enough.

Learn PHP - This is like one thing that I'm actually doing right.

Revamp my blog. Possibly do a site.

Okay, these are the few more immediate and urgent ones. The less important ones like watching animes (which I kinda didn't have the discipline to sustain through too. Can you imagine? I can't even complete 3 series since A levels were over.)

OH, and i seriously need a job. Like, how the hell am I going to afford the kittens' booster shots next month if I don't work. Sigh.

School Nightmares Decades Into Future

2009-03-20T02:39:00.003+08:00

Source: http://www.xkcd.com/557/

Awww...isn't this nice to know? LOL.

Fat Fat Newton

2009-03-12T21:53:00.003+08:00

Source: http://wttf.org/2009/02/14/not-just-normal-staring/

Sigh, I haven't blogged in such a long time. As most who knows me well prolly would have guessed...yup, I didn't score that well on A levels. Oh well, I'll do better in uni! And get a scholarship in the second year or something.

Did so much reflection these few days. Nobody would ever realise how much I've changed this few days though. Nope, my OOC-ness this couple of days is not a result of that change. It shall pass. The change is more in my attitude towards life, my plans, my priorities. More like an added drive in my journey ahead. Haha.

But more importantly, I love my friends more than ever now. Don't know how I'd be without them. To all who I threw a tantrum at on Friday or Saturday, sorry.

So anyway, life shall be better! I have my kittens anyway <3

2009-03-03T00:20:00.002+08:00

Things always come crashing down together.

I'll only be working in RG till 13th. Apparently they only need me for ad hoc after 13th. So I need to look for another job. Mum thinks that it's cause I was lousy at work or something. It may be so, it may not. But anyway, she was so serious about it she came in to lecture me about it, and to inform me that I will never make it in life.

She really believes in that I think. That I'll never survive on my own. While it's true that my wide interests prevented me from excelling in anything at all, it's really hurting to hear your parents telling you they think you'll perish. She thinks I still persist in my primary school ways of thinking, when I have the most impractical and idealistic plans. True, I'm still rather idealistic, but no where near to the extent to how she thinks of me. Imagine my reaction when she accused me of that, and imagine her face when I told her what my back up plans were, when I don't get into architecture. Yea, note that I used the word when, not if.

My mum doesn't believe in me either anyway.
My sister doesn't too.
Subconsciously, my friends don't too. Don't protest, but you know I won't excel in stuff. And don't try saying politically correct things either. No need to comfort me or anything. I know. I suck at studies afterall. And I have no talent.

If I had no idea what to do for my future earlier on tonight, complaining to my friends, ranting to raphael sammie and roger. Then I'm even worse now.

What's the point when the entire world, including myself, doesn't believe in me anymore.
Everything's my fault, my blame. Every time. Without fail. Anyway.

Self improvement

2009-02-27T11:09:00.003+08:00

A levels results is PROBABLY (not sure not certain, i have no inside info, don't hold my word to it) going to be out on the 6th of March. That's exactly one week from now >.<

I'm almost prepared to cry..but considering since non-As are within my expectations since long ago, I'm probably not going to be really really broken down. I might even be able to recover within a day. It'd be good if I can get an A for at least econs though. I love the subject. Just doing an essay outline for my sis last night gave me so much joy..lol. I'd probably hate it if I were to do it at uni level though..Not sure. Thinking of backup plans for when I don't get into architecture, but econs may or may not be it.

Installed this personal financial management software last night. Finally I'm pissed enough by my own lack of financial management ability to actually try to do something about it. It may or may not work, but at least I'm trying and I'll try to make it work. Got to, and there are great incentives for me to. Uni life shall be tough if I can't manage my money properly. Not to mention the much awaited Japan trip may slip out of my plans. The added financial liability by the kittens too...starting to impress upon me I really got to manage. At least my income shall increase gradually. So I get a gentle learning slope on financial management. First month I had only my temp job salary, this coming second month I shall have half the tution income (half goes to agency) on top of my monthly salary. Beginning of April I shall then have my full monthly income of Tution + Salary.

It's always good to lack money when you are trying to manage your money better. LOL. Helps you learn prioritising your consumption.

Starting to go on iknow.co.jp regularly now. That's trying to instill more discipline in myself. The lack of discipline in myself has really done me a lot of harm over the years - JC academics wouldn't be so bad if I didn't slack the four years in RG. While I bucked up slightly in J1, it wasn't quite enough to compensate my four years of negligence in studies. By the time it was J2, it was too late. I suppose I might not have done so badly in that I'm probably not the worse among the JC A levels students in Singapore..but..I could have done a lot better. So anyway, bringing the topic back to iknow.co.jp...Might as well start instilling discipline in the learning of something I like, like Japanese. Lack of discipline was what made me drop out of MOELC in sec 1 anyway.

While I have smart friends...geniuses in fact...and thus I keep telling people that I'm dumb...I know I'm not all that bad bah. Shouldn't let myself continue rotting away like that. Hopefully it's not too late, and coming next Friday won't be a black friday for me. Can you imagine if it's not on 6th but on 13th?? =S

EDIT: P.S. I switch between colemak and qwerty at work now that that I'm actually making the switch pretty fast now. So proud of myself. LOL.

Fontsetter.

2009-02-17T22:54:00.002+08:00

I feel like creating a fontset. Which shall be so much work.

But I bet it'd be really really fun.

And practice makes perfect. It'd be easier. I still cannot make new fonts for design projects.

OK. Must get a tablet soon. Seriously.

Kitty Puppet PURRR!

2009-02-15T23:37:00.007+08:00

My sis just got me a puppet for valentines which is sooo kawaii!!!

It kinda dissolves some of my sadness this valentines away. haha. Oh well, I shall move on! =) I'm kinda pleased with the way I've managed myself and my emotions this year though. Maybe I've matured yet a bit more. Heehee.

A random realisation in life.

2009-02-07T23:17:00.004+08:00

I just realised...I don't really like green, pink and orange these days anymore. In fact, I kinda detest orange. And pink feels boring. Green is okay...But...It's not that appealing.

Instead, I find myself drawn to shades of blue and grey these days. And gold.

Not just colors too, I find myself changing a lot these days. Not really in terms of observable aspects of personality...but more of the way I think, the way I react emotionally to certain events..not sure if i wanna use the word philosophy in this situation. But I'm changing..so much that it's a bit scary. It feels like another stage of those radical changes, like the one when I got into secondary school, and the one in J1..and maybe the one in sec 3, though that one was a bit less radical.

I bet no one knows what I'm talking about HAHA.

I have a feeling that my ability to feel and experience pain has changed too. I'm no longer affected by pain in the whole life-consuming kinda way. More of a lingering in the background sorta pain. Erm...how do I put it...It's like pain is no longer opaque, but more of a overlay on my emotional life. So I can still experience other emotions, just that they get tainted with this overlaying pain?

Again, I bet no one knows what I'm talking about LOL. And why the hell am I thinking photoshop when I'm talking about my life haha!

Just tried word challenge just now. Quite fun! LOL. Having played prolific so much, my mental dictionary doesn't match the word challenge one though. Luckily there's no dictionary penalty haha!
I totally failed geo challenge though sigh HAHA.

Rainforest themed ballrooms <333

2009-02-04T23:52:00.004+08:00

Today's rather fun haha. Went for my first session for this pre-architecture course which nat's cornell interviewer is giving. (though i was terribly late.) today's session was at terminal 3 of the airport. Oh man, so long never been to the airport le. I miss the viewing gallery. Shall go back there soon by myself. But anyway, he's a rather interesting guy, though the lessons are....as queenie put it, more of a he teaches you absorb kind. It's the kinda lesson I haven't had in awhile so I'm not really used to it. I mean 4 years in RG, it's always been rather interactive. RJ too. I mean true, there are some lessons which we found not so interactive, but that's because we took the interactiveness for granted already. If you compare our lessons with say, the neighbourhood primary school...the difference is great. The RJ culture doesn't allow the lessons to have a purely one-way transfer of knowledge anyway. The student always contribute somehow.

Yet the pre-architecture course was a one-way thing. I suppose I should get used to it soon. Haha. Wonders if the NUS architecture is like that.

So anyway, we toured the crown plaza hotel..which was EXTREMELY NICE. I especially love the ballroom's design actually. The moment I stepped in, I loved it. It's the kinda thing I wanna come out with. Though, of course, that would be interior design. I wonder if any architect actually does both the architectural design and the interior design. If it's possible, I really would like to do both. I mean, if Woha does both, such that the two aspects of design complements each other, they probably have a team of both architects and interior designers. So it's highly possible that some of the architects are actually capable of doubling as interior designers no?

Haha, these are just dreams though. I'm still not confident of getting into architecture afterall. The aptitude test and the interviews shall be scary. There are so many better people out there than me. XS

Went to eat dinner and Ben&Jerry with shuyi after lesson (though shuyi had her dinner already). I decided I really really like cheesecake brownie flavour. haha. But each time I eat Ben&Jerry I say the same thing about the flavour I eat each time anyway. =P

Ben & Jerry rocks! <333

ahhhhhhh. can't wait for sat to come. lanning with roger merv aaron and people. lol. and really really shall make time to visit airport soon. LOL. still gotta take up photography too.

AND I NEED TO THINK UP SOMETHING TO MODEL FOR THE PRE-ARCHI COURSE. lol. any ideas people? throw them at me man.

Shoujo manga

2009-02-02T02:39:00.003+08:00

I have work later, but slept too much haha. Shall sleep soon I guess.

Finished reading Fruits Basket finally, after putting it on hold for two years. I still like the characterisation, but reading it again made me realise just how draggy the entire manga is. So much repetition and flashback. But I suppose the pace fits the mood of the story.

So yup I completed the manga.

Reading mushy shoujo manga isn't a very good move though at this time. Sigh. It induces the feeling of yearning. Sigh. I'm a healthy girl with hormones I think haha.
The late night may have contributed too I think. haha.

Shall go sleep! Life for the next two weeks shall be boring with almost the entire world going on field camp. LOL. Life sucks when so many of your friends are guys.

YES. Shall ask sammie and ning out nxt weekend or something =DDD
And plan for sleepover with shuyi!

First Picture MEME I've Ever Seen

2009-02-01T15:05:00.003+08:00

WOW. Never knew Meme can involve photos lol. KH intro de. Source: http://www.kix.in/blog/2008/09/mememe/

1. Take a picture of yourself right now.
2. Don’t change your clothes, don’t fix your hair… just take a picture.
3. Post that picture with NO editing.
4. Post these instructions with your picture.

Melancholiness

2009-01-29T00:53:00.005+08:00

I got my big laptop back. It feels good haha.

Went back to RJ today. It's really something, to see Raffles Institution Junior College everywhere, even in the bookshop. Luckily it's just the price list. The new foolscap hasn't arrived yet. People who want RJ foolscap for souvenir better get them soon. As much as I don't like everything that is happening, I think I'll accept it sooner or later. And anyway, I like the big balloon haha.

And it struck me once again just how much I miss RJ as I walked in. Seriously, I think I have as many keepsake memories in RJ than my 4 years in RG and 6 years in primary school combined. We should create a capsule or something. Something.

And it's really strange to come online to see like all 13 people in my favorites list to be not online. Though that's really due to bad timing. 3 or 4 people still go online these days. But the point is, everyone's either in NS or busy or something.

Not mentioning I'm really missing someone. It's really not the physical absence since we don't get to meet often anyway. But it's more of the idea that we won't get to interact in the coming weeks. Not that it's impossible to interact, but I won't be remembered that's all.

Sometimes I'm so pathetic. haha.

And screwed up.

Back to work tomorrow then. I think this mood of melancholy shall linger awhile. At least it's not PMS. LOL. I really really hate PMSes. They scare even me myself.

I really wish I can go back and crash Jap Club more often sigh.

P.S. I think the usage of the term melancholiness may partially be influenced by my finishing The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya last night. And it was a superb anime! haha.

P.P.S. I really should stop blogging past midnight. It screws up my usage of terms like "last night" and "today".

Liking CNY 2009 =)

2009-01-26T15:05:00.003+08:00

Meiyi likes CNY this year. Even if it were a source of tension. But still, Meiyi has learnt to appreciate her family a lot more in the past year.

Yesterday was alright actually. A bunch of my mum's exclassmates' kids who came to singapore to study came over for new year eve's dinner. Since they were all either my age or slightly older than me, I was supposed to entertain them. Was a bit wary of it but it turned out alright. I wasn't really a good host, but it wasn't all that bad either. lol. Sad that Jiaxin jiejie's going back to China this year already sigh. Coz I actually know her the best out of the group. Though not that well. And this guy called Jionghan is like my age even though he looks at least 3 years older than me! My cats kinda abandoned me for him the entire night. My gosh. I'm so hurt LOL. Donno why the cats loved him haha. But he seems like a very fun person. Yimin was still really quiet, but mum kinda told me to go talk to him. So I ended up opening the convo with "my mum says to talk to you" which made everyone laughed. Oh well, I'm frank what.

Went to chinatown at 11pm after the guests left. It was alright lah. But I'm a little disappointed I missed he firecrackers and fireworks. Sigh. Was standing behind some irritating tall building which blocked my view. And mum refufsed to allow me to follow the crowd forward for a better view sigh. =(

Seriously, I should try going with friends some day. So many things I wanna try, all of which earns either the disapproval or disinterest of my parents. Oh well.

Shall go zhijun's house to bai nian later! haha. Man, I'm going to be the oldest among the kids again. SIGH. lol.

this cny meiyi hasn't started on any of the things she wanted to do though. Except for watching anime. haha.

"Confucius" Saying plus LAME jokes

2009-01-24T03:44:00.002+08:00

Quote from abtzy by "Confucius" in the middle of the night/early early morning over the phone:

"Man who walk in front of bus gets tired. Man who walks behind bus gets exhausted."

OKIE. now back to anime watching.

Joke from abtzy originating from Eugene Seow:

Why can't you watch tv on a new boat.
Because Xin Chuan Mei Dian Shi (Mediacorp).

LOL.

2009-01-19T01:12:00.002+08:00

gays or psudo-gays have the tendency to cheer me up.

and it worked tonight lol. i shall be able to sleep in peace! =)

goodnight.

2009-01-19T00:53:00.000+08:00

i think i'm pmsing.

and i hate going to bed feeling upset.

someone make me feel better. now. please.

2009-01-19T00:18:00.002+08:00

don't you think it's too much to burden a girl with adults' problems from upper primary onwards.

to get her into the world with errands since secondary sch when she's only 13?

to make her wait, again and again, for her hopes and dreams, her wants and desires, promising again and again, only to dash her dreams every time, each time more devastating.

like she's never free.

i really think i'm weird. and i'm spamming the blog with emo/semi-emo stuff. I'm not really emo. but just not sane. I need to focus my energies else where.

and i really don like crying. even if i do cry a lot. i like laughing very much though. and i think i laugh a lot.
i laugh and cry more than the average person.

and i really do love mum and dad.

2009-01-18T23:10:00.003+08:00

Once again, a almost livejournal post. But it doesn't feel touchy enough to qualify for livejournal so it's here. I say this each time I type something a bit more serious that's not really addressing anyone huh.

Bottomline: Meiyi is kinda crazy tonight. Maybe partially because she's very bored. But now that she thinks about it, it becomes so clear. Everything has been going so well, yet not really well afterall.

I cried today. In the morning. And then I'm laughing with my parents on the way to Malaysia. In Malaysia in the car in the backseat, I cried silently again into the pillow, and then I'm laughing again afterwards.

Meiyi is crazy no?

Her sister just comes in to show her no respect, resentment for no reason. she despise her.

and the reason for the backseat crying session...piano. her mum ended up telling her to pretend to pretend her parents don't know about it and go ahead. will she do that? don't know. she feels like she's taking advantage of her mum's love.

life's been really good to her thus far and she knows it. so what's up with her discontentment.

You know, people who knows me. There's always very extreme judgements of me. I'm either very childish, or too mature. Too emotional, subjective..or going by the rules too much and being too practical. Too idealistic, or too pessimistic. Arrogant, or lacking confidence.

what am i really.

why can't i go after what i want. with no worries. no obligations. nothing pulling me back. burdens and everything.

sometimes i really really really want another life. this life is tiring.

but to get out of this life you lose all your friends and family too. that sucks.

there's never a perfect solution bah.

P.S. meiyi is not bothering to edit her outrageous grammar which became even worse than usual when she's not sane. which is now.

West Coast Park Review

2009-01-18T00:21:00.002+08:00

WCP is seriously nice. Can't believe it took me so long to go there for the first time. It can actually tie with ECP as my favorite place in singapore, if not win it. While ECP still wins hands down in terms of beachy things....but WCP gives a more intimate feeling. Like it's meant for people you are comfortable with. And I think it's a good place to people watch. Kids are really really cute. And a lot of dogs. The sight of this mum trying to help her toddler walk the puppy really melted my heart. I found myself thinking if only I could take a photo of that (since I was talking about taking up photography with yezi earlier on..can you imagine a photo of that in my portfolio?).

And West Coast people are seriously the friendliest people in Singapore I think. While finding my way there, I asked for directions a couple of times and each time the people's vibes are really good and they have the best smiles in singapore. In the park, people keep smiling at me, especially the dog owners and the mums..maybe coz i kept perving at their dogs and their kids. HAHA.

I think one day...If I do take up photography..I'll do a project on the smiles of West Coast. haha.

Scenery in West Coast...personally I like it better than East Coast in a way. True, it's cluttered. but the lights at night are nice. And it feels so majestic, the structures..the vessels are really mesmerising. And unlike in East Coast, everything is so much closer to you in West Coast. Once again, the intimate feel.

I think...I might do some stuff with West Coast in the near future...portfolio or not. haha.

Other events in the day included going to roger's house...which was quite uneventful coz all i did was eat lunch and watch roger try to beat jared on the gooey game. Roger's dad is interesting to talk to though haha. I like talking to him. Afternoon was BCA career fair with yezi...mark and roger went along...and we met natalie there too. Listening to them talking about portfolio makes me seriously stressed lah. haha. still have time. yes.

And I learnt how to identify Canis Major at WCP today! hurray! i really wanna see Taurus in full at least once though. >.< and i think i really like sirus a lot. so bright. =D

one of the upward trends in life

2009-01-16T23:58:00.003+08:00

Yay! Got my paycheck today so I'm going to be less broke from Tuesday 2pm onwards.=D And I think I'm finally getting the hang of life after A levels. The days seem to be getting better haha...I'm enjoying myself. Work is a pattern I'm getting used to. Which is comforting. Just went out with daniel alone...Haven't done that in years. Wanted to watch movie, but he so fickle we ended up shopping instead haha. He bought a pink shirt from Zara! PINK! yay! LOL. And I bought a green top from Mango. Yay. Shall wear to roger's hse tmr LOL. Then to BCA career fair...going with Yezi tmr afternoon! =D

Just in case daniel's gf happen to be reading my blog, I just wanna tell her not to worry about me coz I really am not a threat at all. If sparks didn't fly for the past 11 years, it won't fly now. He doesn't treat me as a girl anyway. And frankly speaking, I don't treat him as a guy either XD lol. So yup. And wanda too...she's no threat at all becoz one, she studies in australia and is back only on vacation, and two, she's seriously not daniel's type. LOL. AND I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU. like sammie always intro her bf to us...stupid daniel. so long le still never intro me. Like what kind of best friend is that. even ben cq and chaoyang see before i still never see. =(

Went down to look at stars just now and Orion was right above me! =D Sigh, it's the only constellation I can recognise though. I remember using a book to try to find constellations in sec 2 and failing miserably haha. Maybe I should start trying to identify again. =P knowing Orion is a good start...XD

Man..Can't wait for tomorrow haha.

TINY LAPPY!

2009-01-16T00:42:00.003+08:00

I got a tiny laptop now! Bought it from sis, gonna pay in installments lol. It's like brand new coz she hardly used it LOL. And I think it's the exact same model as roger's but I'm not sure. LOL. Shall confirm with him tomorrow.

Anyway, got another quiz from JJ's blog. I think his blog is archive for memes le.

1. How many months are there until your birthday?
3.65 + 17/30 (u just added onto JJ's answer lorh. LOL.)

2. Have you gotten gum stuck in your hair?
why all the guai lan questions i always answer yes. YES. sigh, wth. When I was really young ok.

3.When was the last time you got straight A’s?
PSLE...back when everything was chicken feet. >.<

4. Where is your sister/brother right now?
Should be in their rooms bah.

5. Is your handwriting large, tiny, or pretty normal?
Depends on mood and situation.

6. Are you currently listening to a song?
Usually I don't listen to stuff beyond 12+ becoz i cannot play it out loud, and I'm usually too lazy to go get my earphones out. haha.

7. Do you have a cell phone?
yup! but it's the army kind and it's spoiling. I want my C905 now....=(

8. Do you own any kind of yellow clothing?
yea..a few..

9. What do you hate about the opposite sex?
in ning's words..."all guys have some degree of bastardity in them. it's just how much."

10. How many piercings do you have?
2. on the ears.

11. What time is it?
12.51AM

12.What color are your eyes?
I think brown bah.

13. How are you today?
okay bah...was a bit emo earlier on in the evening, but now i'm actually in quite a good mood! lol. am tired though haha.

14. How long does it take you to shower?
15 - 20 mins?

15. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
Yup! Safety freak haha.

16. What jewelery do you wear all the time?
Earrings! Love them. lol.

17. What would you say if your doc. told you were pregnant?
Hurray! ok, kidding. But seriously, I LOVE KIDS. but should have them after marriage. and also after you have certain financial capabilities lah.

18.Do you believe in aliens?
i donno...not really.

19. Any siblings?
two younger sisters and one younger brother. I AM DA JIE! XD

20. What are you doing tomorrow?
WORKING.

21. Tell me a story about a scar you have.
I fell into the drain, and then refused to pay much attention to the wound other than rinsing it with tap water, even though it was damn big and damn deep. It ended up getting infected XS then my library senior, who also was in red cross kinda forced me into disinfecting it. In fact she literally brought the kit up to the librarian room and poured it on my leg, whether i like it or not. LOL.

22. What color are your socks?
LOL. different colors? haha. I got a pair of very cute COW socks!

23. How long is your hair?
slightly longer than shoulder length lorh.

24. What school do you go to?
No more school! LOL. Eiither HKU, NUS, SMU or NTU bah. probably NUS though.

25. What are you allergic to?
shelled seafood. even though i really really really love eating HAM (a kind of shellfish). =(

26. Can others make you cry easily?
yea. esp when i was young. but less so now.

27. Whos house did you last go to?
Sammie! To give sammie a surprise on her birthday haha.

28. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
Outward Bound School

29. Who is your best friend?
No single one leh. LOL. Lazy list. =P

30. Do you know what you are going to wear tomorrow?
not sure yet. these days i just take things out of my wardrobe and wear. too lazy and tired to plan every day lol.

37. What are your favorite color(s)?
green pink and orange! okay, less of orange these days haha.

38. Do you know anyone who lives in another state?
yea..a few.

39. Are you easily confused?
depends on the subject matter haha.

40. Who have you talked on phone today?
yup! with shuyi!

41. How has the past week been?
so so lorh. working everyday leh.

42. Do you like anyone at the moment?
yea.

43.What made you happy today?
eh...chatting on msn! and getting the tiny laptop I'm using right now!

44.Do you like thunderstorms?
It really depends on my mood haha. Too many things are dependent on my mood liao LOL.

45. Do you watch Hannah Montana?
Nope. Though my sisters want me to watch..

46. When’s the last time you cried?
Earlier today =S

48. What’s the weather like right now?
COLD. wth. this is singapore leh. I wear jacket still cold, siao. need to get windbreaker soon one day le. or warmer jacket. OFFICE WAS INSANE. seriously. like freezing, I bet it's like sub-zero degrees in there.

yay! i like doing quizzes. best things to waste time away with. along with facebook haha. shall sleep and go to work tmr bah LOL.

P.S.
I want to open facebook accounts for Dinger and Newton...Got photos send me kay? Coz my sis keeps saying want send me still never send.

I bought a really nice diary today! and a sketchbook! =D

Sammie's 19!

2009-01-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

It's SAM HOW's birthday today! XD She cried!!!

Okay, seriously sammie has the sweetest boyfriend on earth lah. Even if I were part of the plans, the full extent of his thoughtfulness can only be known upon seeing sammie's reactions...and watching her tear the presents up. WTH. all three parcels were from him. and we thought he collected them from her friends. >.< And he called and got his entire squad to sing her happy birthday song over the phone somemore. Awww...damn zai. XD

Really, I wished I did more for sammie's birthday this year though. I've always been busy with school, school mates, school friends, work, CCA, etc, etc. Hardly have time for them. In contrast, ning has been there for sammie so much more than I have been, which makes me feel like i'm a lousy friend sometimes. Sammie and ning are always there for me. But I'm often not there for them. Sorry girls, really. I'd try to make up from now on. But I really do love you guys kay? (wonders if they'll read this.)

And I swear I'm born into this Earth to run errands for QY lah. Yeye got errands for me to do in singapore even after he go back to china LOL. ran all over orchard for an hour because of him. Sigh. But he thanked me a lot le lah, so yay! LOL. I'm such a great friend right? =P
ok, nvm, ego.

OH, and work with qwerty keyboard is like screwing up my typing now. Like I type wrong keys now and then. every paragraph I'd press one wrong key. Instead of colemak I'd type the qwerty key. =S SHall strive to type on both keyboards! LOL.

Now shall end off with Birthday wishes to sammie: STAY PRETTY HAPPY ANGELIC (not) AND BEAR A LOT OF CHILDREN WITH JEREMY WHEN THE TIME COMES! YOU'RE 19, ONE YEAR CLOSER TO 20 NOW! XD (wonders if she'll read this again. =P)

withdrawal and lack of foobar2000

2009-01-13T00:20:00.003+08:00

I'm officially without my com now. Life is miserable. LOL.

Had to help my sis do her art homework earlier on in order to use the com now.

Anyway, I'm bored. Despite having work tomorrow..I really don't feel like sleeping. So I shall do this quiz I found on facebook, but I wasn't tagged. So...I'll do it on blogger instead LOL. Brain's dead, so this quiz is perfect since it doesn't take up mind power. I won't listen to entire songs though...too late for 25x4mins (on the avg) of music.

P.S. OH SHIT. JUST REALISED I HAVE MY MUSIC COLLECTION BUT I DON'T HAVE FOOBAR2000 WITH ME :(

oh great. Now my only source of entertainment is gone too. Sigh.

I MISS MY LAPTOP :(((

Adorable Kiss

2009-01-10T12:10:00.001+08:00

Moment of the day: Waking up to a kiss on the lips...by your kitten.

Dinger is seriously the most adorable kitten on Earth! <333

tired and lazy to think up a title

2009-01-09T21:18:00.003+08:00

I'm totally broke. Penniless. Literally. Forked out all my coins to buy cat food for the kittens' dinner. Cat food. Not kitten food. Because kitten food ran out. WTH. >.<

Was thinking of crashing Roger's house tomorrow..but now the schedules seem clashing. With NP's open house. >.<

SIGH.

oh, and work shall get really busy. Any excel pro, come tutor me.

Anyway, best picture of the day.
http://karavshin.org/special/singapore-mrt-anagram.png
MUST SEE. lol.

how long does one take to save up for a million things man. sigh.

Last post before a forced hiatus

2009-01-04T14:30:00.004+08:00

So much has happened but I won't bother updating everything lah. Lazy =P

But anyway, working in RG is good. The work isn't fun or slack or anything, but even though my RG times weren't the best out of my time in schools, it still feels really really endearing. Especially since I get the chance to visit Library almost every day. And meet old teachers. And see the general office staff. It helps too, I think, now that I know the internal workings of the school better. A bit late, but it helps me appreciate the school as a whole. Haha.

New year countdown I spent it with a whole bunch of band members (yes I know I'm not in band, but it so happens that I have a larger percentage of friends in band than any other cca?), and a couple of non-band people like woonie. and calvin...who arrived hours after midnight..in the morning of new year. oh well. Kinda got lost in east coast, so was rushing to get to a good spot for the fireworks...chiong-ed on bike. But ended up in some ulu area A, where we could still get to see the fireworks, but above many many buildings. Oh well. It was pretty anyway, and at least we got there on time. I really like fireworks above water though. Nevermind, next year then. =D

Then there's a 6Q outing yesterday to Sentosa. As usual, like anything that's planned by Daniel, only the gang + wanda went. And not even the entire gang was there. That's Daniel, CQ, chaoyang, ben, me and wanda. And yuching was telling me in the morning that she thinks gatherings that I plan are way better XD. okay, sorry daniel. But it was fun lah. Considerably. Other than the fact that stupid Daniel dunk me not one time in the sea, but THREE times. The last time just before I had to go rush to a concert somemore. Not funny. I ended up missing half the concert...partially coz abtzy and I got lost in NUS. oh well. =( i just get super pissed with myself everytime i'm late for a concert. Sigh.

And daniel is rushing me to go collect the stuff he brought home for me from his house. evening bah.

ok, quiz time again! I'm always one of the first to do memes my friends post. LOL.

1. Made out for more than 3 minutes?
erm...do people keep time when they make out?

2. Slept in a different bed?
duh. sleepovers? plus travelling?

3. Loved someone so much that you couldn’t live another second without that person?
...I'm still alive so I guess no?

4. Made out with 2 different people in one night?
yuck.

5. Thought your cousin was hot?
>.< okay, fine. I admit it. I did had a TINY crush on him before. *blush* When I was really really young!

6. Been in love?
yea..

7. Slept past noon?
plenty of times, the last being today.

8. Taken a shower with the opposite sex?
NOPE! but I showered the opposite sex before though =P my brother!

9. Gone over the speed limit?
yea. look at how my dad drives man.

10. Painted your room?
Yup! =D damn fun!

11. Drove a car?
nope.

12.Danced in front of your mirror?
yea...when i was really young too. *blush* why so many embarrassing questions.

13. Gotten a hickey?
nope.

14. Been dumped?
yea.

15. Stole money from a friend?
nope.

16. Gotten in a car with people you just met?
can't remember...

17. Been in a fist fight?
with my sister. >.<

18. Snuck out of your house?
yea..especially to go to seven eleven in the middle of the night. something my mum strictly forbids.

19. Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?
yea..

20. Been arrested?
nope.

21. Made out with a stranger?
siao.

22. Left your house without telling your parents?
yea.

23. Had a crush on your neighbour?
don't think so..oh wait. yea. once. at my old house there, during primary school.

24. Ditched school to do something more fun?
does sleeping count? =S so yea, i pon school before to sleep. >.<

25. Slept in a bed with a member of the same or opposite sex?
yea. chalets all like that one what.

26. Seen someone die?
nope.

27. Been on a plane?
yep!

28. Kissed a picture?
i think so? sounds retarded huh. >.<

29. Slept in the opposite sex’s bed?
yea..

30. Love someone or miss someone right now?
yea..

31. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?
yup! it's nice! just after some time I'd fall asleep haha!

32. Made a snow angel?
I never see snow before!!! =(

33. Played dress up?
yea..LOL.

34. Cheated while playing a game?
don't think so...at least not i initiate de. i think a couple of times shan typed cheat codes for me when i was lanning with her.

35. Been lonely?
yea..plenty of times. but sometimes it's good to have time to yourself bah. i'm someone who's really scared of loneliness most of the time though.

36. Fallen asleep at work/school?
>.< please. i met my chinese teacher in rg few days ago, and she was like "got fall asleep during work a not". my reputation for sleeping is that bad lah.

37. Been to a club?
yea.

38. Felt an earthquake?
I think so...can't be sure.

39. Touched a snake?
nope! don't dare...Like my entire family touched the snake when we went to the zoo a few years ago. Except for me.

40. Ran a red light?
eh...does jaywalking count? LOL.

41. Been suspended from school?
nope.

42. Had detention?
yea. a lot of times in rg. >.< i bet i hold a record already.

43. Been in a car?
yea...obviously.

44. Hated the way you look?
no way! i rock!!! <3 lol.

45. Witnessed a crime?
er...jaywalking? no big crimes lah.

46. Been lost?
yea..all the time. >.<

47. Been to the opposite side of the country?
yup! how big is singapore lah.

48. Felt like dying from embarrassment?
YES. sigh.

49. Cried yourself to sleep?
yea..maybe a bit more than others bah. >.<

50. Sang karaoke?
I LOVE KBOX!!!

51. Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do?
yea..quite a few times.

52. Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose?
LOL. yea..damn yucky. lol.

53. Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
I WANT SEE SNOW LAH. =(

54. Kissed in the rain?
nope. kissed after being caught in the rain though.

55. Sung in the shower?
yea.

56. Had a dream that you married someone?
yea..once to someone i absolutely hate at that time somemore. wth.

57. Played getting married?
nope! lol. I played the pastor who marry people in primary school though. LOL.

58. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?
ouch? how the hell...

59. Ever gone to school partially nude?
LOL. i wouldn't know how to answer this if i didn't read JJ's answer first. LOL.

60. Been to a blind date?
yea..

61. Sat on a roof top?
I love roof tops!

62. Ever not take a shower for a week?
YUCK.

63. Ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone?
I'm too scared of horror stuff, alone or not.

64. Played chicken?
yea..too often.

65. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
YES. just yesterday got dunk three times? though that's the sea lah.

66. Been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?
i got told i'm pretty or cute a few times... *blush*

67. Broken a bone?
nope! thankfully. must be damn painful lah.

68. Been easily amused?
yea.

69. Laugh so hard you cry?
yup! LOL.

70. Cheated on a test?
eh...i think in primary school we mass cheated for chinese ting xie. like the entire class/groups were sharing answers around. and we even like had a system where each person learn a certain section kind. LOL. that was in...primary 5?

71. Forgotten someone’s name?
yea...very often. >.<

72. Blacked out from drinking?
nope!

73. Played a prank on someone?
yea. but i'm more often the subject than the executor.

74. Gone to a late night movie?
yep!

75. Made love to anything not human?
WTH?!

76. Failed a class?
yea..all the time. >.< i think i must have been the worst student to have graduated from rg in 2006. worst gpa ever i think. rj grades weren't that great either.

77. Choked on something you’re not supposed to eat?
not supposed to eat? huh?

78. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours?
have i? cannot remember...don't think so bah. even if practice one entire day, there would be certain songs i don't play what. plus lunch and everything.

79. Cheated on a girlfriend/boyfriend?
nope. never will.

80. Did you celebrate the 4th of July?
erm, no?

81. Thrown strange objects?
eh...does a chair count? =S

82. Felt like someone else?
huh?

83. Thought about running away?
yea.

84. Ran away?
nope. i'm still here in my life no? XD

85. Had detention and not attend it?
eh...can't remember. I think I might have, by forgetting there's detention. =S

86. Made parents cry?
yea. =( but that's when I was young. I won't ever again. I've grown up!

87. Cried over someone?
yea..for an entire month too.

88. Owned more than 5 sharpies?
what the hell are sharpies..

89. Dated someone more than once?
nope.

90. Have a dog?
my sister's. does that count?

91. Own an instrument?
yea..more than one. but i don't play them. shall learn though! now that A levels are over.

92. Been in a band?
nope.

93. Drank 25 sodas in a day?
siao. i'll get diabetes lah.

94. Broken a cd?
yea.

95. Shot a gun?
nope!

96. Been on IM for more than 5 hours?
erm...what about been on IM for almost 24 hours? XD

97. Fell asleep at the computer?
yea. a few times. especially during rush periods of video editing. >.<

98. Have a major crush on someone right now?
yea.

99. Have a religion?
yea.

100. Thought about what people would say at your funeral?
probably "she was a very very very VERY blur girl."

101. Loved someone but didn’t dare to tell that person?
yea.

102. Slapped someone in the face?
yea.

103. Swam in the sea?
YEP!

104. Made out in a movie theatre?
wth...distract other people somemore. got good movie don't wanna watch?

omg, haven't done a 100+ questions meme in a long time LOL.

ok, tmr I shall not have my com again! sigh.

Withdrawal Syndrome

2009-01-01T18:03:00.004+08:00

Sigh. No laptop for the next few days/weeks/...../EONS. (dad wants to send laptop for the long delayed service.) So my net presence shall become zero. RAWR. As a result, I'm unable to update on my first day of work, which was on the 29th. I need to talk about countdown, Coda, and many stuff too. RAWR I CANNOT TYPE ON THIS QWERTY KEYBOARD!!!!!! sigh. come back next week to read okay? =(

untitled

2008-12-28T01:12:00.004+08:00

I haven't blogged seriously on this blog for awhile now. In fact I haven't blogged seriously in a long time now, not on the other blog, not privately.

Tonight's a strange night..this year has been a strange year. I can't say that I'm happier than last year, but definitely not sadder than last year either. It's like my emotional experience has been extrapolated both ways, with my happy moments becoming happier and my sad moments sadder. But I'm making preparations..guarding my heart closely. So that when the time comes, it won't bleed to death. It'll still be able to heal, if not fully.

I have met good people. And got to know these good people better. People like Stacy and Qiongye. I'm typing a damn bloody truthful post now, so I'm not politically correct. I'm very conscious I'm leaving out Eugene and Haoyang. But truth be told, I feel closer to Stacy and Qiongye? As much as Qiongye doesn't regard me as that close a friend...Yes, you don't, I know one okay. But I'm grateful. To Stacy for being a great friend listening to me, for Qiongye whose presence have reminded me time and time again to be a bit more mature than I am. To both for companionship in class and outside of class.

To Qiongye, your lesson to me started right from the beginning of J1 actually. Remember the first time we went to J8's food court to eat (the time when Ian was eating with his OGmates)? You tried hinting to make sure I don't like you or something like that. The paranoia is really funny, come to think of it, but it did teach me the reality of coming back into a co-ed school, especially at this age when hormones are rising...care must be taken and sometimes paranoia can be good. While I got conscious of that fact after the meal, stupid me didn't take the advice and ended up in all sorts of trouble in the course of the two years. But really, this is just one of the examples of things you taught me. thanks a lot.

Important friends I met in the two years...strictly speaking last year, but I really only really start to get to know them this year. Like Aaron (Tan) and Roger..Even Abtzy. To Aaron Tan I owe a lot once more. True that I haven't been able to get to know him well enough, but he is another person who taught me a lot. He has helped me recognise flaws to my own character, so that I can correct my own behaviour and become a better person. He must be one of the people I can thank for helping me dislike myself less.

Thanks. Aaron, Roger, Mervyn and Mark. Aaron and Mervyn especially, for accepting me into the group. Must be weird to accept a girl into the group. And Roger, for constantly assuring me that it's okay to be a girl in the group. Mark too. I don't know how my JC life would be like without you guys. Really boring?

Thanks Mark...for always being there. For listening to me rant. For talking to me on Fireworks night, or I would have missed out the chance of having such a wonderful friendship with you guys. Actually, I think if you didn't talk to me, I won't dare to hang out with you guys again. Oh, and for inviting me to your party in J1. That kinda helped sparked my hanging out with the group. And introduced me to Stepmania.

Random, but thanks Roger, for the piano. Anime piano has since formed such a great part of my life. All these seemingly trivial things really mean a lot.

To Waihan for the period of time when you provided so much counselling. For your generosity. For teaching me sensibility. Oh, for introducing me to alcohol (wth.) LOL.

Friends I've had and kept in the two years. Shuyi..Suen. Thanks a lot for being there. Especially shuyi, for listening to me, for keeping me sane. Balancing my over-optimism. Helping me stay rational. Thanks for being such a great buddy. And to Suen, I love you.

To new great people I've me this year...Vanessa. There's only one name here, because while all other juniors have been great too..you're the only one who made me feel like I'm not alone. And while being someone for me to identify with, you teach me things on stuff like family, open my eyes to new perspectives. It's only a short one year...but it's enough to make an impact in my life.

JC life, I've made many mistakes. Some more foolish than others. I've been very stubborn. Without the guidance of friends in several cases, I wouldn't be the girl I am now. I may still be depressed day in day out. I'll be numb to the happiness I can be feeling and only focused on the pain. I'm different now though. I feel happiness stronger than ever.

I don't want to be foolish again. I had promised myself not to give my heart away again. I really wanted to stick to that. But seriously it's irrational. I can testify to that now. It's really really stupid. I don't want to get hurt, I'm trying not to. I'm taking it slowly, trying to avoid all the minefields I got into the previous times, trying to learn from my lessons. But it's bad, because I just keep thinking I shall get hurt again anyway. I'm just prone to getting hurt.

It's irrational too. The time is only so short. 3 or 4 months maximum? What is wrong with me. It can't be serious. I keep telling myself that. It may even be infatuation. If it's infatuation, then it's really dumb. And to start liking someone 5 minutes into interacting with the person is plain dumb. Only Meiyi is capable of doing that.

But all in all, I'm getting prepared to be hurt. It's really obvious I don't stand a chance. The last girl must have been a really really nice girl. I just hope this fall won't be as steep, given all the emotional and mental precautions I've taken myself. That my friends would be here to help me to tide over the bad times. I try to be as good a friend as I can be, but I'll never be good enough to warrant all the support I have been given.

will i fall deeper in?
and if i do,
when the time comes,
will i be alright?

i can't compete with her

and i don't want to anyway

Happy Days - Day 1

2008-12-27T01:14:00.002+08:00

Got this idea from Waihan's blog haha..

The rules are that for 8 days you have to post something that made you happy that day.
So what made me happy today..hmm...hmm...

I know! I saw Stacy for the first time in a long time! haha. does that count? lol.

Boxing Day Prezzies!

2008-12-26T00:28:00.002+08:00

okay. It's boxing day. lol. and i realised i donno what boxing day is for so I went to wiki it. and this is what i found.

"It is based on the tradition of giving gifts to the less fortunate members of society."

so i started giving presents online to everyone haha! and below is a convo with daniel! (you know, this is really not real substance to be blogged about, but i'm so terribly bored and not in the mood for anything. i can actually blog about the sleepover at sammie's...but i realise...most of the really funny quotes are from me. >.< so...if i blog about the sleepover, i'll just be ruining my own reputation. LOL. let's just say sammie and i wanna get married and have kids. XD)

Dtay : The North Star says (12:19 AM):
merry christmas
ponyo ponyo ponyo~ says (12:22 AM):
haha it's boxing day now!
happy boxing day!
lol
Dtay : The North Star says (12:23 AM):
ok
can i box u?
ponyo ponyo ponyo~ says (12:23 AM):
...
"It is based on the tradition of giving gifts to the less fortunate members of society. "
haha!
ponyo ponyo ponyo~ says (12:24 AM):
(G)
:P
Dtay : The North Star says (12:24 AM):
why i less fortunate of society u ass
ponyo ponyo ponyo~ says (12:26 AM):
joking lah dot
you so serious for what
i gave a present emoticon to all my friends i'm talking to right now
Dtay : The North Star says (12:26 AM):
O.o
they friends only leh
i am ur best friend forever!
ponyo ponyo ponyo~ says (12:27 AM):
.......okay
(G)(G)(G)
nah. now best friend status le
LOL
Dtay : The North Star says (12:27 AM):
ok i got three
fair enough
huh why i downgraded
ponyo ponyo ponyo~ says (12:28 AM):
no best friend so you get more gifts lorh
Dtay : The North Star says (12:28 AM):
O.o
thats cool
(:
ponyo ponyo ponyo~ says (12:28 AM):
LOL

ok, fine. i am boliao and i have boliao friends. XD

Xmas Eve 2008~

2008-12-24T20:30:00.003+08:00

Today, Meiyi did the bravest thing in her life thus far, but she feels so much more relieved that she's glad she did it, no matter the consequences. HAHA!

AND MERRY XMAS EVERYONE!!!

went lanning today with jj abtzy and roger! played the most retarded warcraft i've ever played lol. but seriously...sigh, i suck at com games. =( but i really think i would have done better usually de. donno what the hell happened. oh well. it was fun. haha!
(roger actually looks ok with botak hair! LOL. and he's out of training wth.)

whee~ going sammie's house soon. Shall meet ning and shan at starbucks first before going to sammie's house. it's so rare for primary school mates to keep in touch for so many years, and even rarer to have a xmas sleepover. haha! ning says we should have a girls overseas trip nxt year! no islands! but somewhere cheap preferably? I'm like paying my mum back for the hk trip (volunteerily). >.<

thanks a lot to certain people in my life. this is sudden, but i really mean it. you guys help a lot in these two years, including recently. these people are chun, vanessa, sammie, ning, jerome, raphael, cq, stacy, shuyi, abtzy. thanks a lot guys. thanks all my other friends too...for being there for me, even if i didn't go to you in times of trouble...but i know you guys would have helped if you knew, so really..thx a lot. =)

Another meme - 40 Things in 2008

2008-12-23T19:28:00.007+08:00

I always call memes quizzes, but so many of my blog titles have the word quiz in them, I decided I shall just return them their actual name. Here's another one, simply coz post-A levels is so boring. Can't wait to start work in RG next monday! haha. Got a HR department temp position there btw. XD

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?

- I went overseas (Hong Kong) with friends alone! XD (and I did A levels >.<)

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Eh...yea I did, more or less. Though the degree of success varies.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

- Nope!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

- My great great grandma died.

5. What countries did you visit?

- In 2008, I only went Hong Kong and Malaysia! boo...so few countries when compared to Abtzy. LOL.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

- More liberity to do what I want instead of what I need to do. Example, be in classes I like. Oh, a C905 handphone wouldn't hurt either haha.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory?

- 20th April.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

- Completing A levels!~ XD

9. What was your biggest failure?

- If I get all Us for A levels, then that's my biggest failure. XS

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

- Here and there?

11. What was the best thing you bought?

- Eh...I don't know..The I love Hong Kong Tshirt?

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

- Haoyi got rather good grades for all her subjects.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

- I don't want to say names here.

14. Where did most of your money go?

- I don't know...

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

- Hong Kong trip...My RG temp job.

16. What song/album will always remind you of 2008?

- I think I don't listen to music enough these days..>.<

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

happier or sadder? happier
thinner or fatter? donno..
richer or poorer? poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

- Study? Erm, hang out with my sisters.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

- I don't know...

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

- RAWR. I'm waiting for something which won't happen. But at night, sammie, ning, daniel, ben...the 6Q people are having sleepover! WHEE~ It's just either my place or sammie's bah...

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?

- Different people at different stages of the year. But overall...Shuyi, Sammie, KH..Jerome maybe?

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?

- yea...sigh.

23. How many one night stands in this last year?

- NONE? DOT. DOWNRIGHT DISGUSTING.

24. What was your favourite TV program?

- Teen Titens! LOL.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

- Not really..

26. What was the best book(s) you read?

- The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold, The Day After Forever by Erin Skiffington

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

- I'll just sound shallow...people seem to think my favorite pieces are boring. =( Fine, I don't know music then. =(

28. What did you want and get?

- I got an external HDD from dad..=)))

29. What did you want and not get?

- Sony Ericsson C905

30. What were your favourite films of this year?

- Wall E!!! And Dark Knight.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

- 18....I spent my dad in school basically. It was a sad day, since something terrible happened the day before, but I managed to spend it anyway. Really grateful to Stacy, Eugene, HY and Ah Ye...oh, and Mr Neo..for celebrating it with me a day later. =)

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

- A guidebook to life. What decisions were well made, and what were wrong.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

- I think...my fashion sense just keeps changing. Now that there's no uniform anymore, I'm kinda lost. =S

34. What kept you sane?

- friends and family.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

- Tomohisa Yamashita? lol. I don't really fancy celebrities or public figures lah haha.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

- US Presidential Elections 2008!

37. Who did you miss?

- Nobody in particular...But I shall be missing lots of people in the coming year. Sigh.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

- Vanessa, Kwan, Yisheng, Benjamin, (and if you count people that I only started talking to this year..) Yezi, Jinjun

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.

- Sometimes, it's better to let go than to hold on.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?

- Damn it lah, I can't think of any. I really really need to listen more LOL.

Gadgets Wishlist

2008-12-23T11:41:00.002+08:00

Sony Ericsson C905 Mobile Phone
Sony Vaio SR26 Pink Laptop
Sony PSP / Nintendo DS

I probably can't get the laptop till like June or July or even later. Maybe I'll wait for Comex in August. Phone there's a chance Dad will get for me. PSP or DS I can leave without. But for the short term...I NEED urgently...

Pg Down Keycap for my Acer Laptop

RAWWR. I fell asleep using my laptop last night and when I woke up, Dinger was sleeping on my keyboard. And when I tried removing her from my keyboard, one of her claws got latched onto the pg down key, which in turn got dislodged, and flung to *somewhere*. I swept the entire room up, and I still can't find it. ARGH. Maybe I'll go Sim Lim soon to see if any shops sell individual keycap versus the entire keyboard. Don't want so mahfan have to dissemble the entire laptop. If really cannot find I'll just leave without the pg down key bah. Still can press anyway. >.<

sigh, i really want a date for xmas. and not just any date too. =(

Random sniplets

2008-12-20T23:34:00.002+08:00

Oh darn, the latest version of messenger beta doesn't work with the messenger plus live. So I shall be missing a lot of chat logs in the coming weeks. Argh. Oh well.

And I just noticed they are building cycling tracks in Woodlands! Around my neighbourhood! Cool right??? But then, I have no bike anymore. RAWR. I seriously hate the bike thieves. Ok, nvm. I shall get a bike next year then! Whee~

And darn, the starbucks in woodlands is not hiring. They say Sembawang shall have a branch next month though, that I can try there. Hmmm..

Hong Kong Trip Ending

2008-12-19T00:16:00.003+08:00

Okay. I find that I am like tired and bored. And calvin uses my com so often I can't use it. And I'm lazy to blog. So the gist is, I took space mountain today. *BIG NEWS* lol. so yea. fine. i took a rollercoaster.

Period. =D

ok, sorry lah, I really too tired and too sian to blog. Back in singapore maybe.

P.S. Oh oh! I realise HK is a damn nice place to hike. Anyone wanna go hiking in 2 years time? LOL.

Hong Kong 3rd Day Morning

2008-12-15T08:12:00.004+08:00

Okay, quick publicity before I start on my Hongkong trip proper. Eugene, Royce and Jon started a Jazz band which is now ready for hire for events. I think having them for wedding would be damn nice LOL. No bias. Seriously. Anyway, here's their site for a sample. http://www.myspace.com/locrianjazz

Obviously, Meiyi is now in Hong Kong. The first night was chaotic though. The Golden Island Guesthouse had misleading photos on their site, and the place turned out absolutely horrid. Luckily, because I haven't been picking up their calls, they rented our room out to others, and we had to look for other places to stay last minute. Unfortunately, we couldn't find anything and ended up sleeping in the airport. Which wasn't too bad really.

I managed to find where we're staying now though. Rei Lai Hotel..Manageable room rates, although slightly more expensive than what we budgeted for. The toilet is ridiculous, potential flooding with the shower almost above the toilet bowl. With no lock. CAN YOU IMAGINE A TOILET WITH NO LOCK? =S So yea. Sigh. Shall survive. LOL.

So the first night was wasted on trying to look for a place to stay. The second day was partially wasted, since everyone became so tired, we rested quite a bit. Went to Hong Kong Island to see stuff awhile, went back to rest 2 hours, before setting out to Shenzhen. My aunt lives damn far out, but I'm so glad we went. LOL. Really really missed her. Food was damn good. Chai Cha shall always be the best! <333 lol. Admittedly, her Chai Cha was slightly different, but still DAMN GOOD. whee!~ She gave us a lot of food to bring back lah...lol.

Photos...I have no time to upload now...nor did I take a lot so I have to kope from the others. Tonight maybe bah! LOL. (cz you just wait lorh...lol.)

Now shall go wash up, before going to the immigrations to renew my HK IC le! =D

P.S. THERE IS NO MILO IN HONGKONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Jap Club Chalet

2008-12-10T22:53:00.002+08:00

Personal Philosophy 1: I believe that to have fun, one must put in effort. When you gain some, you bound to have lost some. If you expect fun to come your way without any effort from you at all, then you have missed out a lot. Because the process is part of the enjoyment too.

I got pissed with Raph...But admittedly, I overreacted quite a bit bah. The lack of sleep kind of contributed to my short temper. But overall, Jap Club chalet was damn fun! LOL. The first day was pretty slack. We pretty much just stayed in the chalet room. Carolyn alternately koped my com and ben's com to read fan fic (and continued reading for the rest of the 3 days, unless she's sleeping, or she got dragged out by us for a few hours. She reads even when she's playing games with us.) Vanessa used my com to catch up with forum mates. Roger and gang just keep playing games on the com, yijun and vanessa and sihui plays PS2. While me and the rest just plays games like Hex Hex, Flux and Munchkins. LOL. Mahjong session later in the night too...but it wasn't as fun as usual, coz there was no tai, and the game was rather....I don't know how to describe it. Plus I kept feeding Raphael and later Yuhan also LOL.

I'll skip describing the rest of the chalet, including the part when Kwan knocked his head and went ouch, and the entire chalet laughed, thus proving that no one was able to fall asleep, and how we hex Joy until she went negative infinity. LOL. But highlight of the entire chalet, for me at least, is then biking from Pasir Ris to Changi beach. Damn shiok. LOL. The entire trail is like just slope after slope after slope. Of coz, you think about it, the down slopes become up slopes on the return trip. But it is still damn fun! LOL. The number of up sloper are roughly the same as the downslopes, so both trips are quite manageable lol. Changi beach at daybreak is damn pretty...But sigh no sunrise. Must go East Coast ahhhh! LOL.

Thanks a lot to Chenzhen for guiding the way and plus he was damn tired. Then I didn't know Carolyn isn't used to biking long distance either. >.< So yup, really thanks a lot. Somehow I feel like I'm the one who gained the most satisfaction from the trip...So I feel kinda guilty? But really, thanks a lot for going with me! =)

I shall do that trail again soon! Yes! LOL.

HK ON SATURDAY! BOLTZ TMR! life is damnnnnnn good. LOL. XD

RJC Chapter Officially Ends..

2008-12-08T01:06:00.005+08:00

Prom is over...Admittedly, prom itself was BORING. The food was bearable, but seriously not worth the money. And...Compared to other JCs...our prom seriously suck. No interactivity at all. =( My table would have had two winners from the lucky draw though...Just calvin stupidly didn't go get his prize. Thought they weren't calling his number. LOL. CY got a camera though! HAHA. and guess who got the top prizne, a laptop...ZEI. WTH????

By right normally should post photos up here de...But..Lazy lah. So just go facebook to view. LOL. Ask me for links if you don't have facebook! haha.

More fun is post prom really. Stayed at Abtzy's house and played wii through the night, played cards, watch retarded videos and basically slacked. HAHA. Oh! the handbells in wii music is damn retarded lah. Just like hit the note when the note comes to the place, a bit like ddr or drum mania, just horizontal. but thing is, you "play" it properly sometimes the wii won't detect one!!! WTH. sigh. Cycled at east coast the next day...But seriously, it's damn sad we didn't go to the jetty to watch sunrise. Sigh. Nevermind! later jap club chalet!!! haha. can watch! whee~ sunrises at the jetty are damn pretty lah.

Friday went for steamboat with the 6Qians. Played zhongjimima, then have stupid punishments like taking weird plastic looking noodles then getting the losers to eat them. LOL. poor sammie had to eat chilli >.< Lucky me didn't get anything haha!
A bit sad coz we were a bit tense with each other that day, me and sammie. Sorry sammie kay...love you still. but i suppose i'll try to settle my debts first.
Anyway, the gathering is a small one, since so many people couldn't come. But I'm surprised that people actually bothered to ask about it. I mean, true they couldn't come..but..they wanted to. And we are like 18 already. Wonders if we can still have gatherings next year. How long will such gatherings last lah. haha!

Damn shit, tired already. I think I'll blog about today's events tomorrow. Maybe I'll blog in chalet when I feel bored! haha. if i bring my com. Live blog updates! LOL. too bad don't have camera sigh. haha.

HK HK HK!~ can't believe i'm flying just coming sat. my gosh, so fast. LOL.

2008-12-01T02:31:00.004+08:00

Yay! Now that life seems to slow down a bit, I'm actually starting to have fun. Prom is 2-3 days away, and much of my stuff is pretty settled. A bit scary though, since I've never really done something like this before. Graduation night in Sec 4 was different, since we'll see everyone again in JC anyway. But this time round I find myself putting effort. My gosh...what if I turn out clashy. Like seriously, my fashion sense has always been regarded as on the weird side afterall. LOL.

But anyway, things are starting to be fun! I love December! First it's graduation night, then there's SATs, which is not so fun, but heck. Then JAP CLUB CHALET!! Whee~ and finally...HONGKONG TRIP. ok, i used caps for jap club chalet, but let's like bold hongkong trip then. HONGKONG TRIP!!!!! there. lol. But yea, December shall be fun =)))

Today was fun too. Went to Paul's house coz I had to "chaperon" shuyi. But ended up staying till late haha! Free Mouse shall own man and win the first! LOL. IMBA storyline, with IMBA music. XD

Free MOUSEE!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE~~~~~~

Okay, but fun stuff aside...I should learn to rest more. I can actually feel my body under strain le. Sigh. I'm never good with balance. Plus I really should put more time into studying for SATs. And also, Neo is going to be back between 3rd and 9th Dec to do referrals and testimonials. So I really should finish my uni apps by then. >.< Sigh.

But Post-As are good. Even if Paul makes sense. Post-As feel a bit empty at times. But...Life is still good. for other reasons too, if you know what I mean. ^^

Reminder to self: Must try to ask Dad for C905 before prom. Or else where am I going to get the camera man. >.<

China Dustballs!

2008-11-28T00:53:00.003+08:00

Ok. It's confirmed. I'm addicted to the internet. 24 hours without internet and I suffered from extreme withdrawal symptoms. Sigh.

Anyway, finally started tidying my room today. It's around 30-40% completed, but that's excluding the wardrobe. Sigh. Man, I need to decide what to do with my notes. Especially the CSE ones. I can pass the math and econs stuff to my sis, the physics to qiongye (i almost typed qy but i realised my other sis initials are qy too..maybe i should just stick with yeye. lol.). But the CSE notes? I have a few options..

1. Burn them.
2. Throw them away, but they will end up in the incinerator anyway.
3. Recycle them. But that means I have to sort through for plastic.
4. Keep them. Archive. In case I need some info in the future. But they are mostly articles?

Okay, I'll probably sort through for interesting stuff to archive, and dispose the rest. haha. Shall I build a bonfire or not? =P

Anyway, the bangkok airport is down. =( Sigh. I hope it goes into operation again in time for the hk trip..I got transfer tickets. what happens if it doesn't arh? Anyone with experience in this kinda thing?

Lastly, good news! Newton's stomach is getting less bloated! =)))

P.S. I realise my blogging is very disorganised now. Must be the long hiatus from blogging. Rusty liaoz.

P.P.S. Anyone up for RJ alumni band concert? I only just realised I'm going alone? lol.

QUIZ!!!!! (the first in a long time)

2008-11-25T11:48:00.004+08:00

My gosh, how long has it been since I last did a quiz? LOL! But now that I'm blogging again, hurray! Welcome back my favorite blogging pastime!
(this was from jj's blog.)

1. What is your full name?
NRIC or non-NRIC? lol. heck. Melissa Chan Meiyi

2. Are you single?
yea. (to daniel, please do not give me a face if you are reading this. wth.)

3. What is your favourite number[s]
21, 4 (for obvious reasons) and 7!

4.What is/are your favourite colour?
green, pink and orange

5.Least favourite colour[s]
black. but can be nice at times lah. lol.

6.What are you thinking now?
I WANT TO GO HONGKONG NOW! lol. stacy shall be sooo jealous =P CANTO!

7. Are you happy with your life right now?
yea, pretty much. can be better if some problems can just get settled once and for all and not drag. sigh. but with friends, I feel loved! YAY. thanks people. for being there. esp sammie, ning and shan. seriously.

8.What are your favourite subjects in school?
ECONOMICS FTW!

9. Do you shop at malls?
yep!

10.Where do you wish to be right now?
HONG KONG! ok, no lah, i want to be at Stacy's house. MAHJONG! lol.

11. What should you be doing now?
eh...getting out of the house? qiongyeye shall get angry if he realises I delayed going out to do this quiz. haha. but i'm being forced to have lunch at home anyway

12.Do you have any crush on anyone?
hmmmmmm........secret. =P
aiyah, if you are close enough a friend, you'd know lah. dot.

13.When was the last time you bought a clothing item?
Eh. Sunday? It's prom season lorh.

14. What was the last thing you drank?
Milo. LOL. for supper last night. I haven't eaten breakfast even though it's near noon lol.

15. Do you hate liars? Do you hate backstabbers?
Yes. But somehow I meet a lot. sigh.

16. Can you make yourself sneeze?
Erm, what about, sometimes I want to sneeze but can't? LOL.

17.Do you fall for people easily?
yea, maybe....i don't know. Do I? More like I fall for the wrong people all the time, sigh.

18. What does your last text msg read?
"Call me." to yeye. he wanted to know the canto show titles I have lol.

19. Are you too forgiving?
I donno...it depends on the situation? and the person. obviously, the closer the person, the more forgiving I am bah.

20.How many windows are open on your computer?
two windows opened, one minimized.

21.Who was your last call from?
Ah yeye, waking me up since I overslept >.<

22.What do you do with most of your time?
Used to be computer, but more recently with friends.

23.Will you & your ex get back again?
I'm breaking out of the cycle, so no. Even if it's possible, I don't want to.

24.Do you sleep with the TV on?
Nope! Once I did, but woke up in the middle of the night to off it.

25. Which of your close friends live the closest?
Sammie!

26.Which item could you not live without during the day?
Handphone maybe?

27. Would you share a drink with a stranger?
Probably not. Unless we're in a desert.

28.How was your weekend?
Saturday was good, Sunday quite uneventful. Haha..

29.Do you believe ex[s] can be friends?
yep! except when the other guy refuses to be just friends.

30. The last person you quarrelled with?
ex.

31.The way to win your heart?
er, i think i'm too weird already. like no standard way de. >.<

32.What did you do last night?
spend 80% of my time trying to fix the internet. 10mins checking email, 10mins on facebook, some time on chatting unsuccessfully because of the yucky internet, and doing a proposed hk itinery which doesn't require the internet lol.

33. Do you have the same name as one of your relatives?
Nope! I have the same name as my sister's friend though lol.

34.Are you looking for a boyf/girlf?
Er, people who LOOK for a bf/gf are called desperate no? dot. You think anyone will actually admit on their own blog that they are desperate? but anyway, no.

35.One song that is meaningful to you?
Canon in D.

36.Do you twirl or scoope you spaghetti?
twirl.

37.Do you drink milk straight from the carton?
NO. so uncivilised...even if left a bit i also pour.

38.How long is your hair?
am i actually supposed to measure it? shoulder length. ok, wait, for the fun of it..*reaches for measuring tape* approximately 42cm? but it's curly difficult to measure LOL.

39.Do you like batman?
Usually no...But. DARK KNIGHT WAS A GOOD MOVIE.

40.Who was the last person who told you that they love you?
Sammie!

41.When was the last time you sang out loud?
Eh...if i'm not wrong, the night before? couldn't sleep, so started singing myself to sleep. LOL.

42.What did you have for breakfast?
LOL. I skipped breakfast!

43.Is your birthday on a holiday?
Nope!

44.Can you cook?
Erm...define cook. LOL. Maybe a bit lah. >.< but might poison people de.

45.Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
ORA Jog-a-thon....can't remember which year. The one at RI de.

46.What was the reason for the last troubles you were in?
I can't remember what's the last trouble I was in. LOL.

47.which do you wear more? Sweats or jeans?
Jeans.

48. When is your birthday?
21st April! If only I'm born a few hours earlier I'd be an Aries. And I like Aries..Oh well..

49. Do you swear alot?
Nope. Usually I don't. Unless I'm super pissed or something. I remember the first time I swore in front of Roger, Roger was a bit shocked. But obviously he won't remember it...as usual.

50. What was your first alcoholic drink?
Er....I think it was Breezer. Like, those very very mild kind of stuff lah. Should be Breezer. Oh, wait, no. It was the one Waihan had during Film Soc Chalet!!! But can't remember the brand. Damn, that one was good.

51.Do you have any regrets?
Not really. I'm not the kind who live with regrets. But now, maybe one.

52. Who would you like to see now?
Surprisingly, for the first time ever, no one. I think I've been spending time with all my close friends pretty evenly recenty. haha.

53.Have the cops ever come to your house?
Don't think so. oh wait, yea, once! When I was younger, at the old house. Coz they were investigating somthing that happened in the block or something.

54. Are you a social or anti-social person?
Social! can you imagine a anti-social meiyi?

55.Who are your best friends? Are you still friends with them?
Sammie..Shan..Ning..Shuyi..DANIEL. The girls, yea, we're still close friends. But Daniel...HMMMMM...seriously, why the hell am I still friends with you man, LOL. big bully. rawr. kk, jk. but you better show me your gf soon...like even Ben see your gf in real person before le. What kinda best friend are you le lah.

56. Ever been in love?
Yea.

57. Ever had braces?
Nope! But I want...

58. What do you wear to bed?
Er..Depends on the weather?

59.Who was the last person who disappointed you?
no comments lah.

60. Do you trust people?
usually...but starting to learn to trust less these days. Sigh. The harsh reality of the world.

61. Who was the first person you talk to today?
AH YEYE. lol.

62. Who was the first person who text you today?
Sammie. At 1.15am. lol.

63. what was the first thing you did today?
Feed the kittens.

64.Ten people to tag
dao. lol.

Peasant Bridge and Mahjong!

2008-11-25T11:22:00.004+08:00

Edit: Yes, meiyi shall try to make a layout. Damn long never touch le...but shall try. By next week. NO MORE PROCRASTINATION! START TONIGHT!

Yay! The HK trip is confirmed le! Finally..But Meiyi has so much admin and compulsary stuff to do...aiyo, such a troublesome girl..=P

Last night was scary though. Newton's been getting fat, but now it seems he has a bloated stomach. Sis was super worried it has worms, coz for dogs, a bloated stomach is a sign of worms. Man, I won't be able to afford another trip to the vet this month! But luckily, after some internet research, turned out the probability of worms are close to nil since it's spread by mother's breast milk. And since Dinger's alright, Newton should be alright too. Further research....and it turns out that Newton is suffering from Colic. -_-" like seriously, he makes warbling sounds that sounded like he's trying to mew while eating. So yup, swallowing a hell lot of hair. WTH. LOL LOL LOL. Well, I'm supposed to massage his abdomen until the gas "comes out from one end or the other end of the kitten" lol. But everytime I do that, he starts playfighting with me. Sigh...Make things so difficult for me. >.<

Yay! Later going Stacy's house to play mahjong! and maybe DDR! Wheeeee~ Man, I think I must be a mahjong addict le lah. Internet's been dying, so haven't been able to play online mahjong much either. But mahjong so fun!!! Though I always lose lah.

Oh, which reminds me, shuyi and I finally taught the others how to play peasant bridge. yay! so addictive. How can bloody knuckles be more fun than peasant bridge????? ok, maybe coz it takes less thinking lol. but soooo violent. aiyoh. LOL. like i'm such a nice girl...won't hit too hard also..LOL. =P
but seriously hitting knuckles are very painful, so i really don't like that game. =S
PEASANT BRIDGE PEASANT BRIDGE PEASANT BRIGE! the game that defies all logic lol! ok, not really lah. just damn weird lol.

Post-A levels!

2008-11-24T01:08:00.004+08:00

Ok, fine. This is really late since my A levels ended on Thursday. China Studies essay. It wasn't too bad...But I'm not that confident either. Ahhhh...No matter! It's over! Now to wait for the results...

But now I've got to worry about grad night! I need to borrow money for prom, because my mum's paying for the hk trip already, and I don't want her to feel like she's paying so much in one go. Even if it's a loan. Gonna borrow from shuyi...but...she's like paying so much for her own stuff also..>.<

But anyway, paid deposit on a dress today! YAY! From Artiris, my favorite shop! XDDD HAPPY. It's yellow and white! LOL. I hate wearing black at night lah..haha.

Exams are over for just 3 days..while right after the exam i felt a sense of emptiness along with the happiness...the 3 days were not empty! =P

The first (A levels free) day I spent it shopping with shuyi. Went to some Perth education fair with her, and then we shopped and she found her dream dress. After she went home, I met Kangwei and Kinwai at Far East and proceeded to help them shop for their friend's present. So kinwai got this really nice belt...which i'd actually get for myself one day i think..haha..

The 2nd day went to AFA, which was actually a total disappointment. Went back home to grab stuff to pass to JJ, back to orchard with Shan and Sammie to shop! haha. Damn, was supposed to shop for prom, but ended up spending most of the time in Borders and later at Wisma. Sammie and Shan got wallets from Forever 21 and I got a pair of flat pumps (cheap) at CottonOn. Really cheap, coz they hurt, but should be okay after they're worn in lah LOL.

3rd day (today!) is the slackest day of the three bah. Chenzhen called to get me to go AFA which i wanted to boycott. Ended up, fine, I shall go. But when I go town, he went home. Sigh. Oh well, so I went shopping alone. Yup. And got the lovely lovely lovely dress! YAY. =DD

RANDOM. WE ARE FLYING CATHAY PACIFIC! YAY! CALVIN GOING TO BOOK SOON! HEE!~

Ok, back to my attempt at the blog entry. Damn, haven't blogged properly for nearly a year...not very sure how I used to blog anymore. Sigh. Oh well.

I need blogging practice. haha. must reclaim my blogging queen title! yesh! =P

(oh, and i still haven't started on my anime marathon yet. sigh.)

2 more papers!

2008-11-14T12:34:00.003+08:00

Two more papers! One on the 18th, one on the 20th! haha..and now i have no mood to study. SIGH.

Anyway, I got two kittens now. Found them in LT2, and after a series of unfortunate events lol...yea, now I'm keeping them. Approximately a month old now haha. Naming them Schrodinger (Dinger for short) and Newton. Please don't ask me why so cheem names (cheresa said they were cheem) lol, long story. So anyway, they're damn sweet and cute...currently snuggling against each other asleep (as is 70% of the time) and I don't have photos to show because I haven't gotten my C905 yet, my camera is faulty and my sister is stupid and not sending me the photos she took with her phone. RAWR. I think she posted some up on her blog though. I lazy go download lol. Can go find her blog from my links =P

Oh, and my dad got me a portable hard drive. YAY! no need buy myself next year liao. =D just downloaded 30Gb worth of stuff on torrent lah. torrenting now. on top of the 30+ Gb of stuff on my F drive right now. LOL. oh dear, i'm so not finishing watching them after a lvls. shall take at least 3 months i think LOL.

OH OH. And i'm going HK in December. LOL. CONFIRM LIAO. WHEEEEEEE~~~~~~ XD
hope i can find Ring of Fire CDs somewhere there. Like, singapore don't have...order online shipping damn ex...plus don't even know if they ship internationally a not. amazon and ebay also don't have sigh.

and i need to work. even more impt now that i have to support two kittens. lol.

so that's it. an extremely quick update to my life thus far. LOL. shall rant about A lvls AFTER a lvls. haha.

New Friend Test!

2008-10-31T15:30:00.001+08:00

LOL. but this one is easy. Maybe I shall do one which everyone will fail later. LOL.

http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/2040501

3D Bodies!

2008-10-28T02:15:00.003+08:00

http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2008-10/bu-bsc102708.php

Link courtesy of kh. Damn damn damn cool! This is why I sometimes wish I'm pro enough to go into comp science. Sigh.

lalalalalalalalalalalala~ (part 2)

2008-10-25T01:17:00.004+08:00

lalalalalalalalalalalala~ part 2, but with a different name and theme, and is much much cuter than lalalalalalalalalalalala~ in my opinion. haha.

aiyo...why so many this kind of sites on the internet...lol.

http://www.leekspin.com/

anyway, link courtesy of woonie again.
(to woonie: sorry i didn't talk to you on msn. was doing math and didn't notice your convo. but you seriously bored arh. keep finding these sites LOL. tsk, tsk. DO PHYSICS!!!!)

lalalalalalalalalalalala~

2008-10-24T00:44:00.001+08:00

Been doing stuff like uni research for the night. Sigh. NO DON'T SIGH. MUST BE OPTIMISTIC ABOUT THE FUTURE! >.<

anyway, this is funny. woonie gave it to me. yes, the link does exist. LOL.

http://www.lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.com/

meiyi is crazy now because she has to take the stupid a levels and she is damn behind her study schedule and she is going to fail math and physics.

2008-10-22T22:33:00.004+08:00

SAMMIE!! LOVEZ YOU TOO! <33

i want to borrow your math prelims paper, coz my school used that as mock, and i didn't go..haha! If you don't read this by Saturday...I'll run over and knock your door down! =P kidding, i'll call first lah.

Random number ONE

Mervyn: "Did the paper mock you?"

Random number TWO

http://armorgames.com/play/2407/karoshi-suicide-salaryman is damn fun and stress-relieving!

Random number THREE
meiyi MAY BE applying to US. but prolly won't be able to go.

and i realise...i'm starting to blur this blog with private stuff again. only reason it's not very private-ish now ish coz i have no time to blog in the first place! tsk, what's wrong with me, why cannot blog in two blogs. okie! after a lvls, revive private bloggie (livejournal)! YAY.

Meiyi needs to pass math (and physics, but physics feels cmi already. >.<)

2008-10-03T22:58:00.003+08:00

Blog entries no longer become emo rantings. True that I have become happier. Or maybe I don't have the time to be sad anymore. Friends help too. But..

Having you helped.
Or maybe I just start becoming wary and scared of blogging emo stuff. Scared of letting people know. Scared of being branded as emo. Wants to be more normal.
As much as I keep saying how being weird is cool, and everything.

So why am I typing all this now? The above (and the below) is meant for a particular someone to read.

Because I want to let you know that I'm really really scared you don't care anymore. And I can't say anything. This is my last attempt. I hope you reads this. And I hope everyone else will just dao this post, not think anything about it, and NOT ask me about it.

The fact that you don't care disturbs me. Coupled with the fact that I care so much...it terrifies me. And yet I'm supposed to heck care all these feelings and emotions. Teach me how?

Lesson of the Day

2008-09-24T02:09:00.002+08:00

Word counts include markups such as deletions and comments. Hide them before doing word count.

(and i was puzzled over why the more i try to cut the word count, the greater the word count became. wth. lol.)

87 more words to cut! Whee~
but bet this is not final. sigh.

POPsickleSTRIP - HIJACKED

2008-09-23T14:47:00.002+08:00

Okay...a friend told me he wouldn't call this hijacked. But...I'll just post the email the artist behind POPsickleSTRIP sent me.

from Steve Burke
to Melissa Chan Meiyi
date Tue, Sep 23, 2008 at 10:43 AM

- popsicklestrip.com was hijacked

- 909sickle.com is the new address (I own this one; should be permanent)

- popsicklestrip.blogspot.com has the details if you're curious

Spread the word!

Good luck on thy quest,
Steve

And from popsicklestrip.blogspot.com,

"popsicklestrip.com has been temporarily hijacked. The people who were nice enough to offer me hosting and domain registration (Amy and Jerry Smith in Hannibal, MO) have now removed my FTP account and are holding the domain name (popsicklestrip.com) hostage in exchange for control over the comic strip.

Update: The old host owners were nice enough to remove my content from their server. Hopefully, they return to their senses and realize that a ten dollar domain is not worth fighting over."

This is really funny in a way actually lol.

Facts of Life

2008-09-14T22:52:00.001+08:00

Found a webcomic that copies xkcd's style somewhat...But this particular one strip is damn good. must read.

Hilarious Metaphors in US High Schools

2008-09-08T22:01:00.001+08:00

Okay...I really don't have time to blog now anymore, with prelims here and whatnot. But KH sent me this and it is really really hilarious. The kids must have had fun with their homework coming up with these things. Some actually require a certain standard in knowledge in other aspects in order to come up with them! It must be deliberate lah....But really really hilarious! MUST READ!!! LOL.

http://help.com/post/124066-funny-metaphors-used-in-high-school

GP Prelims Passage

2008-08-28T19:29:00.002+08:00

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200806/college/

As provided by KH.
Turned out the teachers took the passage from page 3 of the article.

Anyway, flash updates:

I got totally bashed at the IS consultation today. Got to revamp entire essay. And must finish the new essay by this weekend. I feel ultra demoralized. I did try, no matter what they say. It's just that this is beyond my ability. Why oh why did I take this up?
Oh, and I got confirmation that I'm going to fail during the consultation. It's my fault I know. I just cannot bear to show people my work because I feel ashamed of my own standards. I don't show anyone my work usually, regardless of the subject, unless the person is close enough to me. So peer editing didn't work out. I couldn't make myself send the document to her. And now, that reluctance was used against me to show that I made no effort at all. That I did not try.
Anyway, this rant is useless. I got to go back to re-writing it. Despite being told how to restructure it, the act of writing this kind of essay feels foreign to me anyway. I don't know how to write it. I'm just praying with all my heart while I write. Trust me, I am trying. It's just not my thing. RS back in RG was disastrous for me and I had no part in writing the PW report (my group mates know my standard)..I'm not making an excuse for myself when I say I don't know how to write such an essay.

random rant

2008-08-25T00:56:00.003+08:00

So many things happened in the past week, and I can't talk about any of them. 1) Coz I can't, because it's too private, or 2) no time, and now I don't remember the details, or 3) now I'm just too lazy.

A Levels zaps your soul away, whether you are mugging or not.

I'm having a fever. Not sure whether it's due to my tremendous dislike for the a levels right now. or maybe it's just my body's way of wishing it's dead. LOL. then it doesn't have to go through the stupid exams (and then the brain will self-destruct after failing the a levels whee~)

NOPE, i'm not emo. Please, Jerome just said this to me over the msn:

(10:47 PM) [Light] Mentis I: Happy for once, Mei?

Yup yup. I am. Shutting out emo thoughts and emotions. hurray.
But now i'm just lamenting the a lvls. I don like studying with exams. yesh. i don like it one bit. =(

And I'm missing several people right now.

(INJECT OPINION) I think the new president for the singapore table tennis association is stupid. she should just step down now, after one month of office.

I slept too much in the afternoon and now i can't sleep. And I'm having a fever. =( it sucks.

I think I shall stop ranting.

Random Chainmail Test!

2008-08-14T00:22:00.003+08:00

A random chain mail test that Mark sent us! =P
(Rather obvious I don't have energy to blog about life le lol)

1. Pick your favorite color out of the following:
Red
Orange
Yellow
Green
Blue
Purple

2. Pick your favorite animal out of the following:
Cat
Dog
Fish
Snake
Parrot
Mouse

3. Pick your desired honeymoon spot:
Hawaii
New York
East Africa
Spain
Montana

4. Pick your favorite instrument:
Violin
Piano
Electric Guitar
Drums

5. Pick your favorite soft drink:
Dr. Pepper
Sprite
Coca Cola,
Mountain Dew
Pepsi
6. Name A. Person Of The Opposite Sex...

7. Name A. Person Of The Same Sex...

8. The Time Now...

9. Your Age

10. You don't have to write it down, but make a WISH and then scroll down!

And the answer key to this....

1. Red - Adventurous
Orange - Fun
Yellow - Sweet
Green - Wacky
Blue - Romantic
Purple - Mysterious

2. Cat - Feminine
Dog - Loving
Fish - Boring
Snake - Boyish
Parrot - Annoying
Mouse - Brainy

3. Hawaii - Romantic
New York - Busy
East Africa - Curious
Spain - Mysterious
Montana - Country Girl/Boy

4. Violin - Intellectual
Piano - Popular
Electric Guitar - Wacky
Drums - Wild

5. Dr. Pepper - Popular
Sprite - Wacky
Coca Cola - Wild
Mountain Dew - Athletic
Pepsi- Fun

6. That person will have a crush on you after you send this!

7. That person will become your enemy if you don't send this!

8. How long you have to send this!

(Ex: 5:15 = 5 hours 15 minutes)

9. How many peeps you have to send this to!

10. That will come true if you do #9 in the amount of time #8 says!

LOL. Anyway, according to this test, I'm definitely wacky, since wacky appeared twice in my results! LOL. Other than that, I got feminine, mysterious and popular. haha!

Half-Life

2008-08-11T14:42:00.004+08:00

What is the meaning of Half-Life?

What do you think of first?

woonie ㋡ says (2:40 PM):
(on a side note, my sis is rather curious as to the meaning of half-life

<(R)meiyi> says (2:40 PM):
er..wah?

woonie ㋡ says (2:41 PM):
@ my nick
a cat has 18 ln2/lambda

<(R)meiyi> says (2:41 PM):
OH GOSH. you know when you said half life? i thought of the game first
LOL
and then i was like...wah? doesn't make sense...then i thought of radioactivity. :S
LOL

woonie ㋡ says (2:41 PM):
oh wait
the meaning of half-life!
hahahahaha
nvm

<(R)meiyi> says (2:42 PM):
my gosh. this is such an interesting term!

Interesting how some terms are so...ambiguous these days? =P

EDIT[5.49PM]: As a follow-up...

woonie ㋡ says (4:08 PM):
oh may i add.
that the meaning of half-life is in fact 21.

<(R)meiyi> says (4:09 PM):
wah?

woonie ㋡ says (4:09 PM):
since the answer to life, the universe and everything is 42.

Japanese Beads and Jade

2008-08-11T01:18:00.002+08:00

Somehow, I find myself liking earrings and other accessories with japanese beads or jade-like stones more and more. Things that look kinda oriental...Like these!

http://youswop.com/ItemDetails.aspx?pid=19130

http://youswop.com/ItemDetails.aspx?pid=9310

Pretty eh? Not sure if I'm getting the second one just yet though. Haha.

Shine For Singapore

2008-08-09T20:08:00.003+08:00

I have only one thing to say. Can they please choose a song with a more catchy tune? Seriously. Something like Stand Up for Singapore or Home. The standards of our ndp theme songs are dropping!!! Ahhhhh....Where are all the good songwriters and singers?? (and seriously...why is it Hadi? Why is it Joi Sing? Who are they man? NO accomplishments at all. Get someone like Kit Chan back again! It's been such a long time since she last sang..)

P.S. And my sister adds on, that when her teacher first played the song for the class, she thought it was a love song rather than a national day theme song. LOL.

Blue Paper Clip on the Little Red Dot

2008-08-08T15:57:00.002+08:00

http://onebluepaperclip.wordpress.com/

Little Red Paper Clip

2008-08-05T21:38:00.002+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BE8b02EdZvw

Ok...this is another something which is just so cool! =P
*Inspired* lol

Hmm...kinkit was right in his observations. I am posting just links these days sigh. Okie! Back to econs! rawr. seriously, i bet i'll get so not used to it (even if i'd be relieved) after a lvls. =S

10th Dimension

2008-08-05T00:59:00.002+08:00

Chenzhen introed me to this. Damn cool.

http://www.tenthdimension.com/medialinks.php

just might get a bit of headache after watching...you might want to rewatch parts of it too. I got most of it, except for some...and even those parts i got only vaguely. so shall watch again tomorrow maybe. But not tonight. too much for me to handle. But really thought inspiring...like, goes in line with my recent thoughts about how our universe is so insignificant.

Robo Hammie!

2008-08-01T23:34:00.000+08:00

http://www.engadget.com/2008/07/31/sega-adds-dream-hamster-to-its-dream-pets-collection-girls-say/

KAWAII! lol.
(only available in japan now though. haha.)

Gothic

2008-07-29T13:51:00.005+08:00

http://item.rakuten.co.jp/bodyline/g440/

I want. Ordering via yukata warehouse would cost 118 SGD. But delivery to singapore requires a minimum of 70kg.

Ok, all these doesn't matter actually, since I'm thoroughly broke. For the year. Next year maybe bah.

And I shall get yukatas next year. YESH. =P damn nice ones around.

P.S. Craving for lacey stuff...perhaps it's a side effect from looking at too much lolita. lol.

Random Updates.

2008-07-20T13:40:00.000+08:00

Watching Dark Knight with Daniel, Ningy and possibly Sammie next week! Happiness!~

On a not so positive note, I'm probably gonna fail china studies for a levels. at least the independent study component anyway. boohoo.

Self-destruction

2008-07-14T17:05:00.003+08:00

Self-destruction, contrary to popular belief, is never a voluntary maneuver. It's always involuntary, no matter what the truth may seem to be. Even when it is born out of personal choice, the choice is only but an illusion. For if you choose otherwise, you suffer a fate far worse off. And often, this very 'fate' you are avoiding is one which only you understands best. No one, not even the closest friend or kin, can ever understand what you are going through.

And worst still, 'reality' would try to have you believe that your current suffering are fruits of your own doing. That indeed, you do have a choice, and all this talk about involuntary sacrifice of genuine joy, the choosing of the lesser devil, are simply attempts to excuse yourself from sinning - from causing harm to your very own self.

Tagged.

2008-07-02T19:05:00.002+08:00

Okie..Chun tagged me and therefore I have an excuse (and something) to blog. Plus the quiz looks quite substance too. So here goez~

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
It depends on what kind of betrayal. But probably I'll just become ultra upset, dwell in my sorrows (though I know that's not good, but knowing myself I probably wouldn't be able to help it). And after awhile, when I gathered enough courage and determination, I would either move on...or decide whether to forgive him.

2. If you can have dreams come true, what would they be?
To stay in touch with my closest friends for as long as we live, and if possible, stay as close. To remember all the good memories we create together. To let the people who made significant impact in my life know how important they really are or were to me.

3. What will your dream wedding be like?
Must be refreshing, unconventional and fun! =P By the sea might be nice too...but I don't want a sandy beach. And must have lots of flowers!!! HAHA!

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
Very. I really don't know what I'm heading towards in the future. Just take one step at a time bah.

5. What’s your ideal lover like?
Chun's answer really make sense. The word "lover" is always used with negative connotations. But let's just assume that it's "lover" in the positive sense...I'm really not sure. Someone who I feel happy and comfortable and unrestricted with...understands me...genuine and unpretending...maybe slightly romantic? and must respect me, my beliefs, values and my freedom.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
To be loved back by someone you love. To love someone and not have your feelings reciprocated is awful. But to be loved without loving is meaningless.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
I really don't know. It really all depends. I'll wait till my heart tells me not to wait anymore.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
I'll still be his friend. I mean, if I like the guy, then he must get along with me and is of good friend material right? But I'll try to forget my feelings. And be really careful not to affect his relationship through subconscious behavior. I might even get to know his girlfriend, and assure her through my behaviors and interactions with them that I'm of no threat to her. Become good friends with both of them! Moreover, if his girlfriend becomes my good friend, then I would want the best for all of them, and that would provide further motivation for me to forget my feelings for him and wish them all the happiness.

9. Is there anything that’s made you unhappy these days?
Plenty. But no point telling the whole world bah.

10. Is being tagged fun?
dot.

11. How do you see yourself in ten years time?
That is...when I'm 28..I'll still be working to support my brother for uni I suppose. Maybe I'd even open my own business! Like a shop..or a cafe..or something. Donno lah. It all depends...The future is filled with uncertainty.

12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
Secret. haha.

13. What kind of person do you think the one who tagged you is?
One of the nicest seniors in the world! <333

14. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
Depends on how poor you define poor. If too poor, then probably I won't marry, coz money troubles can be straining on relationships. Otherwise, I'd rather be married but poor, coz I fear loneliness.

15. What’s the first thing you do every morning?
Sit and stone for a couple of minutes. Unless I'm already late for school.

16. Would you give it all in a relationship?
Yes. What's the point if you don't.

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
Nobody, till my feelings for one exceed my feelings for the other by a significant amount.

18. What type of friends do you like?
All my friends? If I don't like them at all, they wouldn't be my friends already, no?

19. What type of friends do you dislike?
...They wouldn't be my friends if I dislike them. But I dislike aspects of them. For example, yesh, smoking. But regrettably, some of my friends do smoke. Sigh.

Taggiez!!!! I'm not even sure if people I tag would do lorh, since everyone's so busy these days..

1)Shan
2)Sammie
3)Suen

OOH. I just realised I tagged people all starting with S. LOL.

Fashion Wholesale

2008-06-24T19:49:00.003+08:00

Anyone feel like buying clothes, bags and accessories cheap??? Coz my cousin and I want to buy some stuff...But since it's wholesale we need to make up 300 bucks worth of stuff. haha. Visit this site and see what you like and tell me. Shipping just add about 3 bucks each dress. =)

My cousin and I make up 100 plus dollars already. Just need another 100 plus 200 dollars. whee~

P.S. Remember to change the currency view to Singapore Dollars!

http://www.je551.com/index.php?language=en

Dream Phone - SE C905

2008-06-22T14:19:00.003+08:00

(Image from Sony Ericsson website - http://www.sonyericsson.com/cws/products/mobilephones/seethephone/c905?cc=sg&lc=en)

two words. I WANT. rawr.
but sadness.
from the press release, "The C905 Cyber-shot™ will be available in three colours (Night Black, Ice Silver and Copper Gold) in selected markets from Q4 2008."

Boohoo. That's september. Which is roughly 2 months away. and prolly need to wait till october? haiz.....

But the wait is worth it! Finally they come up with a new (more than) decent cybershot phone since K800i (all the newer cybershot phones are crap, with especially crap keypads).

oh man....

Please. If ever, any high ranking staff of Sony Ericsson reads this post, please sympathize with me and just help release it earlier already.

the SE C905 "official site" - http://www.sonyericsson.com/cws/products/mobilephones/overview/c905?cc=sg&lc=en

Very Important Announcement

2008-06-15T19:42:00.003+08:00

Very Important Announcement

I BOUGHT A DRESS.

More importantly, my parents paid for the dress, and thus it is not from my own pocket. and i like the dress.

The feeling you get from getting a new dress ish GOOD.

Other highlights of the day include eating at a japanese restaurant and the opportunity to dress my bro up.

Father's Day celebrations over at Malaysia sums the day up. It's good to live in Woodlands.

P.S. I love my new dress! <33333
P.P.S. I like sashimi very very much too! <3333
P.P.P.S. Actually the miso wasn't bad too. The sushi were quite good too (though I've tasted better ones.
P.P.P.P.S. Once again, I like my new dress! <33333

Firefox 3 Download DAy;

2008-06-15T01:40:00.000+08:00

What's wrong with this picture?

2008-06-10T16:39:00.003+08:00

Be Safe.
Not Sorry.
Anti AIDS
Drive 2004

PURE IRONY. Try figure the irony out yourself.
P.S. The irony is NOT the condoms.